Unknown
Unknown
Feb 2011
749 Views
4 Comments

Gray Area

What do you do when you wake up and look into the eyes of a stranger? After 35 years of marriage, the stranger tells me he is not who I was led to believe. Not my best friend. Not the man I loved, or bore children with. He has died and the stranger has taken his place. My life for three of the 35 years is a foreign country, a lost city, an unfathomable gray area where understanding is not allowed. Knowledge is scoffed at. Loyalty, a joke. My husband is dead, but I remain the ghost. I wander through the three years in my memory and it is a dark maze, and I wonder: Who was I? What really was my life then, that was buried in lies that fell like raindrops and promises like water hitting a blazing hot sidewalk. To find love again is an impossible dream, an unreachable planet that spins in dead space. Will time rid me of the specter image of the stranger and the devastation he has left in his wake? I'll never know as I wander through the gray bottomless void. Lost in empty space as I search for my stolen time, trust and heart that I will never retrieve, never feel in this neverending gray area.
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periwinkleanlace
periwinkleanlace●South coast of Kwazulu Natal, KwaZulu-Natal South Africa
Feb 27, 2011●8 Comments
#1
I know exactly how you feel because I've been there myself.It gets better as time moves along and you get a better perspective on your situation.In the end, everything that happens to us happens for our own benefit.You loose one thing in order to attain another.Stay strong as I know you will find your new you in that empty space.All of the very best to you lees hug
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lees127
lees127OP●Wentzville, Missouri USA
Feb 27, 2011●2 Blogs●7 Comments
#2
The stranger is the man who was my husband. The country? What my life has become. Somewhere I've never been before peri. To the second blog. Thank you. I know this is true and I know that it will get better with the passage of time. Some days are just so much worse than others. This is one of those days. I just needed to get it out there somehow. Butr thank you for taking the time to answer me. That means alot. The kindness of strangers is a God-given gift and I so appreciate both of yours.
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inthemind
inthemind●Buffalo, New York USA
Feb 27, 2011●7 Blogs●547 Comments
#3
Mourning the loss of a relationship is similar to mourning the loss of someone close. The world is a different place. One that appears strange with everything out of place.

Change, whether desired or not, is opportunity. The hard part is in finding it. Being here, amongst other things, is a good step. To gain perspective... see what other people are thinking... find some friendly strangers (as you've mentioned).

Best of luck in your new world... and in recognizing new opportunities.
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Cetti
Cetti●Nürnberg, Bavaria Germany
Mar 1, 2011●1 Blogs●26 Comments
#4
This place is the place where many find themselves, when one has forgotten the meaning of the journey. So, you're not alone. But I must tell you, in your beautifully expressed words lies the answer... ...And no dream is impossible.
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by Unknown
created Feb 2011
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Last Viewed: May 15
Last Commented: Mar 2011

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