'Joe Bob's America' part 5

"A person who lives by the Golden Rule. Someone who believes in allowing others to pray to any god, sleep with any consenting 'adult,' eat, drink or ingest whatever and dance to any music. True hippies are evolutionaries, not revolutionaries; we will convince you with words, not weapons. We believe passionately in democracy and free enterprise (not capitalism). We will not go to war for peace; we will love the world into it, talk people into it or shame them into it. Some people may think we are a joke; they may think we are naive, or that we are unrealistic, but we have high ideals. Some may think we have ulterior motives, some agenda to make ourselves rich and take over the world, but that is only their value system speaking; we have no other reason for our actions than to see peace, prosperity and love for all. That will be our reward. We are everywhere, and some day, if the world wises up, it will listen to us. September 11, 2001, would never have happened if people had listened 30 years ago."

Is that a wacky work of hippie genius or WHAT? There, in one rambling definition--the hippies were always wordy--you have inner contradiction (starting with a Biblical principle but lower-casing "god"), an assertion of "Footloose" rights ("dance to any music"?), a rhyming catch-phrase ("evolutionaries not revolutionaries"), a political slogan ("words not weapons"), an incomprehensible economic theory (free enterprise but NOT capitalism), a restatement of "love is the answer," paranoia ("Some people may think we have ulterior motives"), delusions of grandeur (implying that the hippie COULD take over the world if he wanted to), the put-down of "value systems," utopian idealism (peace, prosperity and love for all), topical politics (September 11th), and the idea that all wars would end if everyone would just get in touch with their inner hippie bliss.

In other words, it's all over the lot--like everything in hippie land. Such superb ramblings are sprinkled throughout this voluminous work, including McCleary's opinion as to who the REAL hippies are. You'll never guess what biographical entry has a place for McCleary's highest encomium (and I quote): "With his music and his attitude, he exemplifies what the true hippie should be."

He speaks not of Bob Dylan, nor of Jim Morrison, nor of John Lennon, but of my fellow Texan Willie Nelson. Who knew?

And then a few pages later he reveals that Pop Tarts were introduced into the hippie diet in 1964.

As Zippy the Pinhead would say, "Are we having fun yet?"

Yes, we are. Keep the faith, baby.