My oscar moment

i woke up.. and i saw the same view im always seeing.. dirty white colored ceiling or if i would be waking up at my left side is my royal blue colored curtains and if i would be waking up at my right is a wide clean dirty white wall..
And the same OLD FEELING... of EMPTINESS.

Though having an average life, i could say everything is there.. House, career, car, friends..though family is far çoz im working overseas.. I can't help it when times like this come..where your tears would voluntarily fall down like a stream unliking the hole in your heart. Feeling so helpless in finding the answers why are you feeling this way? adding the situaton that u are in a muslim boring country and its their holy week where in few little fun that they offer opens very late at night and most things are prohibited.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face and the girl on the mirror says.. maybe you need someone who would boost ur drive to live, someone who would hold ur hand and say.. U are not alone.
someone who would lend his shoulder whenever u are in your drama periods and trying to win the oscar award. Someone who would catch all the plates and kitchenwares and stuff around the house whenever u are in your Godzilla moment, Someone who would say u still look beautiful inspite of the tomato nose u have and pumpkins eyes u have after crying. Someone who would HUg u tight and gives u a tap on your back and feel that no where u could ever be safer but in his arms...

Girl, u are missing this person in your life...
i went back in my bed.. tried to make my self occupied and the worst thing ive ever done is to iron my uniform while crying and thinking.. The hell where and when will find that guy?! If i am here in this country not even allowed to go out alone or by car coz this is not a safe country for girls at all...