complicated

been a while since i post last blog here, well dunno why thinking of him all of a sudden, and become to realized that actually i miss him a lot at this time, i know he wont never know, cuz we r so so far far away, and we may sounds ridiculous in ppl's eyes, i used to think that i already ruin him from my life till today i land on here again and see him here ....

maybe im a totally stranger for him since long time, i do not expect he'll send me here like b4 at all, dunno why i feel really miss him a lot at this moment, used to thought we would meant to be meet and together someday, that doesn't really matter now, used to thought i would be your only till you leave me without g'bye, i never thought that you would do that, every word and moment we had is gone, you said you would come to me, said would never let me down, maybe i just heard u wrong, that doesn't really matter now, cuz you don't mean a thing to me .......

used to got an idea that maybe i can go and try to be an air stewardess and maybe someday i may get a chance to meet him in person, but i failed for this interview, used to think once i pass the air stewardess successful then, i will send him an email and tell him my dreams come true and maybe we get more possible to meet, but i'll still carry on and try next interview, at least, that increase more possible, but maybe i was wrong, cuz he would never care about it, yep, he would never care, don't wanna reminded of all of the memories till today i see him here again, that set my mind muse again...

maybe i shouldn't think of u again, maybe im naive and ridiculous in ppl's eyes, but that just me, just real me .......

i just hope u take care always though i hate u now, but really, i do really hope u take good care of urself, especial ur lil bad habit< u always eat so fast>

maybe ..... i dunno now, just maybe .......

everything doesn't really matter now, even though i am thinking of you now, Nivar