u know you're from ChristChurch NZ when...

1.You tell people you love them...& u ain't even drunk.

2.'Open home' takes on a whole new meaning.

3.City humidity is up 80% due 2 boiling water.

4.Meals on Wheels is delivered by chopper.

5.The answer 2 everything is 'Its on thr floor'.

6.You are desperate for the plumber 2 arrive,because the long drop is becoming a short drop.

7.You go all air-hostess with visitors:before serving them coffee,u hand them a safety card & advise of the nearest emergency exit.

8.You can charge more for your rental property when there is a port-a-loo outside.

9.Your budgie's new saying is 'It's munted...it's munted...it's munted...'

10.You have 2 sanitize your hands after washing them.

11.You go away on holiday & start getting homesick when u see army trucks & helicopters.

12.You're happy 2 b constipated.

13.You have 2 share your new office space with 2 cats & a flatmate.

14.A for sale sign reads:This sand comes with a house.

15.Your city has so many men in uniform u think u must b in a "Village People Video.

16.Your kitchen cupboards have bungy cords holding them closed 2 stop things falling out during aftershocks.

16.Your mayor has 2 explain 2 Prince William what 'munted' means.

17.Your three-year-old points out the window & says 'That building is buggered", as u drive down the road.

18.Digging a hole & pooping in your garden is no longer weird.

19.Your mum gets excited about a different-coloured port-a-loo on the side of the street.

20.You have 2 shake the dust off your clothes b4 u bring your dry washing in.

21.'Our house...in the middle of our street'is no longer just a line from a song.

22.You think u should of owned a wheel-alignment company.

23.Your cellphone vibrates & u jump under a table.

24.You are no longer surprised by empty supermarket shelves,& spend time instead looking at the interesting stains/marks on the floors, trying 2 work out which products made them.

25.30 is the new speed limit - as 50 gets u airborne.

26.You finally get 2 experience am out-of-towner running 4 the door during a 5.1 quake, while u & your friends just sit there watching them.

27.The idea of drinking straight tap-water scares u more than earthquakes.

28.You finally have a valid reason 4 wearing your girlfriends knickers.

29.You are all starting 2 look like honorary Bogans.

30.Water is just as exciting as beer.

31.The only items u have on your shelves are the things u want 2 claim insurance on.

32.Your choice of clothes in the morning is determined by sniffing them.

33.You can laugh at the lowered 'boy-racers'as u hoooooon past them at 30km over bumps in your car,4wd...or pushbike!

34.You start a BBQ - cleaning business & retire three months later as a Millionaire.

35.'liquefaction'becomes slang:'That guy is full of liquefaction,''I had some bad takeaways last night which gave me a bad dose of liquefaction.'& And u change the words 2 the Rolling Stones' song 'I can't get no...



some funny's from a book Compiled by Bruce Raines, hope u enjoyed them