The Antidote for bitterness

I found this and thought I should share it with all of you, it is so worthy of reading and I am glad to know I started my process of healing, enjoy all ....

Forgiveness
Antidote for Bitterness, Retaliation, and Resentment

Each of us has been hurt by another human being. Sometimes the pain of an offense or betrayal is overwhelming. Is there a healthy way to deal with these kinds of situations? Our natural response is to recoil from the hurt or to strike back in like manner. If the hurt is deep, the process of letting go will take longer, sometimes years. Some people never let go of their seething rage and resentment for a person or persons who have hurt them. There is a certain satisfaction in hating another individual. It feels like they deserve whatever you can dish out to them. It seems like it is our right to pour forth our vengeance upon them, if not in person, at least in our mind. But the consequences are not hurting them as much as it is hurting us. The poison meant for them is poisoning us. I think we all have met certain people that are so bitter and resentful that nobody wants to be around them. They are lonely people; those who can not let go and can not forgive.

A very wise person has declared that, “At the epicenter of all healing is forgiveness”. Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook so they can hurt you again and again. You must set up personal boundaries to protect yourself from future offenses. (See the page on setting boundaries.) It is not saying that what they did to you did not matter or did not have an impact on you. It is not to minimize or ignore the offense. Forgiveness is actually a gift to yourself. It is the process to bring internal healing to your wound or scar. It is a personal decision to release the offender of the indebtedness owed to you. That brings to mind the old saying, “To err is human, to forgive is divine”. When we choose to not forgive, to hold a grudge, we are forgetting that we too have hurt others. Believers who have been forgiven all of their offenses have the perfect model, to do unto others as God has done for you. God calls us to forgive those who trespass against us. Although, sometimes this feels like too much to ask of us, He will empower you to do what He wants you to do. There is a very real reward here on earth, for those who forgive. And that is healing. As I see it, our body can not contain bitterness, resentment and rage toward another human being and experience healing too. Our vessel cannot contain both. When we release the bitterness, then and only then, can the healing process begin.

People who hold grudges, who would never let go of an offense are living examples of people who have not experienced healing. They become cripples for life. In your mind you must take your hands off of the neck of the offender. Give up the need to be paid back for what you have lost. Stop expecting an apology or explanation. It probably will never come. And if it does, it will not seem sufficient for all the suffering you have had to experience. Offer the gift of forgiveness to yourself! “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” If payback is due your offender, He can and will do a much better job than you could ever do! Let go and let God.

Forgiveness is your decision to no longer to hate the offender. It is letting go of your vengeful thoughts, your venom, and your hatred in an attempt to heal yourself. It is a gift to yourself!