Choice

By David Berg

(Written to an individual who was faced with a life-changing decision—a marriage proposal.)

It may surprise you to know that God likes you, His child, to make your own choices within His will. As long as you delight yourself in the Lord most of all and want to do His will, it is His delight to also give you the desires of your heart, because He’s the One who puts them there when you’re pleasing Him! His Word says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). If you love the Lord with all your heart, your personal desires are usually the right ones, because you want most of all to please Him. So your personal desires in the matter have a great deal to do with God’s will. He gives us what we want and have faith for.

As my mother used to say, “When in doubt, don’t.” The Bible warns us that whatever is not done in faith is sin (Romans 14:23).

If you’re truly convinced in your heart and persuaded by God’s Word that a certain thing is God’s will, you should do it, no matter what anybody else says; if you’re convinced that something is not God’s will, you shouldn’t do it, no matter what anybody says; and if you’re not sure that a thing is God’s will, then the best thing to do is to wait until the Lord reveals His will to you one way or the other.

It even pleases the lord to give us our personal choice between several possibilities, all within his will.

In the meantime, don’t let anybody else tell you that some course of action is “of the Lord” and that it is okay to proceed, if He has not confirmed this to you personally. If anyone asks, just say that you’re waiting for the Lord to show you His will. Anything is possible, for with God nothing is impossible, and “all things are possible to him that believes” (Luke 1:37; Mark 9:23). However you must be personally sure, and not merely swayed by others. It must be your own personal decision, what you truly have faith for, in which case, if it were in accordance with God’s Word, it would be “of God.”

When making a major, life-changing decision such as you are doing, time is often the great tester. I’d certainly advise you to wait until you’re sure in your own mind and heart of God’s will. As Paul says, “Let each be fully convinced in his own mind” (Romans 14:5).

In this matter of marriage, God may know you both need a companion, comforter, encourager, inspirer, and example—the kind of genuine helpmeet that God designs for His own. It could be that you have both found the will of God.

You must make your own choice. If you truly love this person and this person loves you, and if it is God’s will, nothing short of this will ever satisfy you. But the decision is up to you, and you alone. No one else can make it for you.

Best of all, pray and ask the Lord. He likes for you to seek His will and find it, so you will know without a doubt that it’s right when you do it.

Until then, don’t! As long as you’re doubtful about a decision, don’t let anyone else pressure you to act upon it, one way or the other. He wants to give you the desires of your heart, but they must be the desires of your heart and not someone else’s—your choice and not another’s.

May God bless and keep you and continue to make you a great blessing, and may He give you every desire of your heart as you delight yourself in Him and His love. “Do not fear … for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). Your will be done in Him. That’s what He wants to know: that you’re making your own personal choice in the matter. •

Activated Magazine: 2007 Activated Issues > June 2007
Choice