Nothing Worse than a Bad Back, 'xept Maybe no Dope

Uncle Block Replies:

it sounds like you may have a bowel problem. try eating more fibre.
i wouldn't worry about work if you are an american. just threaten your employer with a lawsuit under the americans with disabilities act. this should scare them into providing "reasonable accomodation" measures.... like that couch and well stocked fridge.

as far as your trouble with the landlord goes, try plugging up the toilet with toilet paper. then give it a few flushes so it overflows and floods his apartment. maybe you can get him to move out.

if that doesn't work go to the market and buy a great big fish. then sneak down the basement and tie the fish inside one of the heating supply ducts. once the fish starts to decompose it should really start to stink the place up. 'course, you'll probably smell it too but with all of your other problems what's a little rotten fish smell... you could pretend you are living in baltimore.

Note: to baltimorians, please don't take offense, but it's the first thing i think of when i think of baltimore. decades ago i was driving around baltimore trying to buy a tent. i couldn't figure out why everywhere i went reeked of rotting fish until i noticed i was driving behind a garbage truck with a bunch of huge fish carcasses hanging out the back. Yuk.