Astrology

Astrology - What the Stars Tell Us Today - by Joe Schlock
In this, the year of our lord, two-thousand, we still gaze in wonder at the firmament in pursuit of meaning and answers. To be, or not to be... looking at the stars... but that is not what this is about.

We are gathered here instead to determine what the future holds in store. For us. And that is why we often seek wisdom in the stars.

Having said that, it is necessary to point out that this essay does not attempt to answer all questions that all humans may trouble themselves with. It is rather an attempt to say nothing, but to say it with conviction, as though there were simple meaning hidden within the configuration of our reason. Wise men have toiled insatiably with this conundrum. Have they come to realization?

Only to the very wise can these thoughts seem complex. For in their complexity we find simplicity.... reality bearing with it many fruits. The universe abounds with motion... and space... vast vistas of vacuity sparsely populated with tiny morsels of information holding within their juxtaposition secrets for which man hungers.

It is within this discipline, quite by chance, that your humble host has discovered a proclivity for subliminal deduction... to wit.... the prediction of the future.

There will come a time, perhaps in the near future.... perhaps not.... when cataclysmic events shall occur. Some of these events will have a direct impact upon you, gentle reader. Look back and see to storm clouds receding. This is your time.

If you gaze upwards in wonder, you have taken the first step toward full self-comprehension. A new age is upon us. And with these utensils, we commend our hopes and dreams to the almighty. If it were done any other way, there could only be chaos, as the lunar landscape clearly opines. When order derives from these precepts, the chaos gives way to boundless spiritual conformity. But this is not to be lamented! NAY! Say I.... this is to be rejoiced! For we are the chosen derelicts of the cosmic embrace. Ours is not to render unto Caesar! Ours is not to render unto God! Ours is to hope, our breasts beating fluently that ancient rhythm.... that gas prices won't go up any more.

But they probably will.