Christian life

I was years ago during my high school years what some would call a "jesus freak". I was never interested in church growing up but in high school I met this boy who was so sure of his love for god. He wanted to be a preacher and he just had this sort of light that shown. He made you want to know more and to find the kind of peace he had. Well I atteneded church and bible groups about 4 days a week. I was taught to preach and basically force people into church. I said horrible things about gays I had met. I barely spoke to my father cause he didn't understand my need to go to church. I pretty much only hung out with other teens from church and youth leaders. Well to make a long story short that young man who introduced me to church also introduced me a woman 17 years older then us who had a child. He said she was a woman strong in faith and that she needed some people in her life. I felt so strongly for this boy and god that I welcomed her to are church family. One day right after we turned 17 he took us out to dinner and afterwards she drove me home on the way she told me she was seeing him and they were in love. That god had spoke to them and they were ment to be together. I was floored he was 17 and she 34. After that I felt betrayed and questioned how people really were behind my back. I guess really my heart eas broken. Now this man is married to her has 4 kids and is not a preacher. But I want to know how to find christians to talk to who are not going to tell me to hate gays,jews and liberals. I want to be able to listen to secular music,watch movies and even drink a martini with tom my gay friend without judgement. Ya know? sorry this bog was so long just has a lot on my mind when it came to this.