For those with dogs!

Dear dog,
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish,
nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.
I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however..
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know thatsticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

Yours, your humble owner