Nice guys

I am one of those "NICE GUYS" that finish last.
I have always been this way and could not figure out what the deal was. I treated every woman I have been in a relationship with as if she were the most important person on the face of the earth. I give them my attention, I treat them with respect, I give them the honor they deserve.
I am kind hearted and I think that I love well. I have never broken up with anyone, always been the breakee. I have heard "I love you but...." "I would rather be friends..." "I love you like a brother...". I have heard all these and more.
After having my heart broken repeatedly I have come to the conclusion that though I may be a nice guy, loving, romantic and all the rest. I am lacking in some way.
Nice guys often complain that women really only want bad boys. Tuff guys and really have no desire for a nice guy. This is not true, woman want to be loved just as men do. They want to be treated well, fall in love, have a partner for life etc. etc. etc.
What the don't want is a man she cannot respect. Nice guys may have all the skills they need to show their love. We definitely lack one key ingredient. The ability to lead. I don't mean take over the relationship but to lead when needed.
The ability to take the lead when your partner needs it and not to become domineering is going to be a rocky road. The bad boys of the world have this down pat, the do not have the nice guy skills they need, thus they often have very short relationships. Nice guys may have longer relationships but the end result is usually the same. Both end up alone.
I have often been called a nice guy with a big heart,I used to consider this an insult,it's true,I feel a great deal, I experience love to it's fullest.
I have spoken of my "discovery" with my ex, she informs me that, the lack of taking the lead in the relationship was one of the things that really made it difficult for her.
She is an incredibly strong woman, full of spit and vinegar, I mean that in a good way. She is independent and stubborn as all get out.(I like that in a woman, by the way.)
She mentioned that even though she is strong she still would like the MAN to do what the man is supposed to do.
I feel that taking the lead has to be done carefully. One could become to aggressive and turn taking lead to abuse.
I may be off base here but I think that is what happens to many women, and men also. They are looking for someone to take some control and end up with a controlling individual. This may lead to an abusive relationship.
So in my infinite wisdom I have decided to try and stay "a nice guy" but become more aggressive when it comes to taking the lead. Finding the balance between lap-dog and attack dog will be difficult and won't happen over night. I am sure I will make many mistakes and tick some people off. By the way this does not just apply to romance but every day life, from standing up to my boss when I feel slighted to making sure my steak is cooked the way I like, application is the key.
Strength mixed with the ever present nice guy.
It won't help the relationship just lost but will in the future.