Do you need alcohol to express your feelings? ( Archived) (162)

why dont you ask chili hes an old pro??

Lionheart,
I believe he is trying to be open and honest with you. I just came back from visiting my brother in Mass. He is one who is very quiet and keeps his feelings to himself. He does not know how to express how he really feels. He was brought up not showing affection or saying I love you. Well with my mom being very sick we were having a discussion about our childhood and the present. While he was drinking a few beers his emotions were coming out. I actually seen my brother cry and he explained to me that he has a hard time saying and showing how he really feels. and when he has a few beers it just comes out freely. For him it is real.

Uhh.. I'm an "old pro" at what, Thunder? Drinking?

Nah, not really. I think that when you're drunk, your true feelings are seriously altered.

Alcohol is alright, I just don't like to drink much.

Chili

well i dont drink eather anymore but i found when i did all it did was get me into trouble so why do it all you do when you drink is fake things the mask comes out and then you see what somone thinks they want to see so if you need it to open up than maybe you have a problem anyway i have always been to open as it is so i just learned to be who i am and if somone does not like it oh well

I don't believe u do ne thing drunk that you don't WANT to do sober.... the idea has to be there or u wouldn't do it plain. alcohol lowers ur inhibitions it doesn't create ur wants or needs. but ya'll know me I don't need anything to express my feelings or opinions *winks

Hell no i don't need alcohol to express my feelings. I need it to get thru the damn day! hahahaha Nawww, i'm just joking. I don't drink very often and i can express my feelings just fine on my own.

Well an answer to Solitare:
I guess his mother had jusy up and left without a word one day. He is the second to the youngest. He told that he considers his step mother's to be mothers too but they can never replace the real one. I guess his Dad at that time was pretty abusive physically as well as emotionally and drank alot. His father blamed him for his mother leaving because once he had stuck up for his mother while she was getting beat and threatened his father with a hockey stick to get him to stop, After that she left without a word.He ended up getting a girl preganant at age 17 and having a daughter, then later a son who dies when he was a few months old. He had a sister who committed suicide a couple years after that and then an ex girlfriend. A couple years ago he had 5 family members die within 6 months. Since then he stated to change some for the better, takinf life more seriously. He says his relationship with his mom and dad are good now. I tell you I was surprised he opened up to me like he did in a sober way. He really is a good person even though he may seem distant and cold at times. He told me he thinks women and men are different in expressing their feelings and that women tend to go into to many details about feelings. I just want to understand this man and if anyone can relate to it being hard to express their feelings or it being hard to tell someone how you feel I'd like to hear your story.

Lionheart,
Just follow your heart and judgement on this one. It sounds like he has been through hell. Everyone will have different opinons when it comes to drinking and feelings. No one is right or wrong. The way one person may act might not be the same as someone else. With being a recovering alcoholic for 13 years, I have met different kinds. Some drink to hide there feelings. Some will be more honest with you while under the influence then when there sober. It depends on each individial. I will comment on one thing... There are some things that I did while drinking that I would never of done when sober. The guilt of doing certain things is what helped me to get sober for good. It sounds like this person is reaching out to you. All you can do is listen and be a friend to him. The rest is up to him...

Hello Everyone, So this is where ya all are hiding, lol.

Hey Michelle, How was Mass? got the email, just have not had time to write ya back yet, I will, lol.

And as for the booze think, I am boring at that- Don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, so I am not an authority on it anymore. But when in college, I did learn that beer has enough calories to sustain life, lol- many of liquid dinners at the frat house.

Lionhearted, a vast world of pains has opened up on you by someone wanting desparatly, hoping sedperatly that you will be able to help him form a "new and better" him, perhaps...he is putting all his trust, his world into your hands..he trusts you enough to take this step, that is quite obvious.
A neutral observer would advise to "proceed with extreme caution" You may have some serious choices and decisions to make here as to, for one, how far do you wish to go with this; how deeply; will you be able to cope? If he is finally at the stage that he wants and needs to open, the last thing to do is outright rejection; you can imagine why...he should be encouraged to enter some form of professional therapy. This could prove very delicate. If you feel comfortable with his opening to you, then go with it; his time to release the pains of loss, repressed emotions etc, is now; he wants to let go and yet hold; it'll be like a real struggle back and forth for a while. Ask AB AB, she is a nurse; could be her ground.
Good luck Lionhearted.