When is too soon to introduce the children into a relationship?????????? (21)
greeneyedgal19706 Threads 410 PostsI am meeting someone this coming monday. If all goes will which i think it will....when should i think about introduce my son to this guy????? His got 2 grow sons plus a grandson who is 5...so my son would have someone to play with when we get together.....but i just need to know when would it be ok to introduce each other........
me, me, me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me, me, me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!------ This thread is Archived ------
With having 3 of my own I can say that I would wait a while (3 months). Sad to say but, people aren't really them self for the first 6 months.
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I am a divorced Father with a son who's mother has had 6 men in my Sons life in 7 years and I would love to choke her for it! I have asked that she date a man for 6 months prior to bringing a man around our Boy but she refuses to consider anything but her own selfish desires.
Remember- the most important relationship is the one you have with your child. Your children feel this way as well. Whats the rush? Shouldnt you make sure this person can make you happy before requiring them to make your children happy as well? If this person turns out to be a dud now you have to explain why "Joe the Dud" is no longer comin around. Dont subject yourself or your children to that kind of pressure. It is impossible to determine if a relationship is worth pursuing inside of 6 months. Only the disfunctional and co-dependent feel the need to jump into serious relations so soon.
Beware of child molestors and abusive partners as they are masters of disguise and will not expose themself until it is too late. I have been single for almost 8 years and have dated many women- the longest for 6 months and my Son has never met one of them and I refuse to meet their children as well. My Son will only meet the Woman I spend the rest of my life with. If that day never comes he and I will always have each other and that is good enough for me.
Remember- the most important relationship is the one you have with your child. Your children feel this way as well. Whats the rush? Shouldnt you make sure this person can make you happy before requiring them to make your children happy as well? If this person turns out to be a dud now you have to explain why "Joe the Dud" is no longer comin around. Dont subject yourself or your children to that kind of pressure. It is impossible to determine if a relationship is worth pursuing inside of 6 months. Only the disfunctional and co-dependent feel the need to jump into serious relations so soon.
Beware of child molestors and abusive partners as they are masters of disguise and will not expose themself until it is too late. I have been single for almost 8 years and have dated many women- the longest for 6 months and my Son has never met one of them and I refuse to meet their children as well. My Son will only meet the Woman I spend the rest of my life with. If that day never comes he and I will always have each other and that is good enough for me.
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Introduce children to someone you think who´s it worth, when you and your children seem to be comfortable with it.
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Thank you so much for helping me....I know I have in the past introduce my dates too early and they never worked out.......so this time I am playing it safe and meeting him first and going out to dinner a few times before introducing each other .........
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Hi,
Great question. I would say after you are feeling comfortable with the person, and if he is going to have the grandson with him on an afternoon, you could have a playdate day planned for the four of you. The zoo or something like that.
I would definitely recommend no physical contact between you two in front of the kids though. Just introduce the kids as if you would with a friend of yours, and keep the romance away from the kids until you know you will have a relationship going or not.
Great question. I would say after you are feeling comfortable with the person, and if he is going to have the grandson with him on an afternoon, you could have a playdate day planned for the four of you. The zoo or something like that.
I would definitely recommend no physical contact between you two in front of the kids though. Just introduce the kids as if you would with a friend of yours, and keep the romance away from the kids until you know you will have a relationship going or not.
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well it depends on how and what the introduction will they them
maybe you should wait a time b4 you introduce him as a romanitic interest
maybe have an "accidental" meeting and introduce him as a friend and maybe do lunch or an icecream after the accidental meeting (same time)friends first
see where it goes from there
but hey what do i know
maybe you should wait a time b4 you introduce him as a romanitic interest
maybe have an "accidental" meeting and introduce him as a friend and maybe do lunch or an icecream after the accidental meeting (same time)friends first
see where it goes from there
but hey what do i know
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hi sussie hope all is well
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Doggone I almost missed this from you!
I'm glad to see you, so much has happened, I'll email you.
I'm glad to see you, so much has happened, I'll email you.
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In my prior relationship my honey told me that her kids were part of her life and that I should accept them like her.
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I'd say tell the guy off the bat that you have kids. Don't introduce them though.
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start it off slowly but remember that not only is the gentleman dating you and being part of your life but he must be dating and involving himself with your child. Don't wait to long for the first introduction cause that can be detrimental (possibly) to the guy you are dating.You just have to have a feeling for when the time is right. Good luck!
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HELLO THERE ABOVE ME,I THINK ITS ALWAYS BETTER TO EASE THEM INTO A RELATIONSHIP.THEY MIGHT RESENT IT BECAUSE OF THEIR DADDY RELATIONSHIP
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hope this helps as a single mother of 2 teenage boys...and have been alone with them all these years..I never had a man help me raise my boys...never had a man live with us...if I had a male friend that is all they would know is that we were friends...however hindsight is a wonderful thing...I kinda wish now that I had not raised them alone..as now my 17 year old thinks he runs my life...a man cant not even call my house with out him going off....so as a answer to your question...let your head lead you...no matter what happens between the 2 of you...the longer you two are together the more of a bond there will be between the two of them....so just make sure it is someone you really plan to be with for the long hall before you introduce him to your son..as your boyfriend.. just be honest not only with yourself but with the two of them...I have always felt that men can up and leave when they chose and you will be there with your son alone...think about hon..think hard...
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ok this is my sister Tamie saying this..I can type faster...I think I would perpare my childern for the fact that I would like to date..I think thats the frist thing I would do....I would also make sure there were like 3 or 4 dates before I even metioned that I was really interested in this person...to my son...judging by his reaction to this news.. I would decide where to go from there...either...introduce him after that or wait till I feel my son is ready to meet him
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That is true...package deal, to date me you have to date my son....i do not leave him out....
this guy knows that I am a package deal. he wants to meet my son....maybe i could do what susie said and do the playdate sometime or set up to meet someplace like walmart. and go from there.
he did mention something about wanting to take us to the movies this weekend. Cars is playing here. I think my son would love it.
Thank you alll.
this guy knows that I am a package deal. he wants to meet my son....maybe i could do what susie said and do the playdate sometime or set up to meet someplace like walmart. and go from there.
he did mention something about wanting to take us to the movies this weekend. Cars is playing here. I think my son would love it.
Thank you alll.
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To all that have replied to this thread......THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH.
But, I think my son already knows that we want to date each other. My son was teasing me last night: "mommy's got a crash" "mommy's got a crash" "mommy's got a crash"! smart little boy I got.
I have in the past introduce my son to guys just as friends and then went from there. But I think the guys I have dated in the past could not handle that they have to share me......mommy time and girlfriend time. My son has talked to Allen (the guy) on the phone for just a few minutes.....my son is a talker like me, so it did not surprise me that my son told him everything in like 2 minutes. Talked about getting his new bike, and ask allen if he wanted some ice cream with us. and told him about going to his grandpa's today but i am thinking of cancelling the trip this weekend. too much stress yesterday.....
My son seems to like this guy and so do I................maybe meet today and see how it goes and then introduce my son maybe on sunday to just go to the movies as friends, does that sound ok????
But, I think my son already knows that we want to date each other. My son was teasing me last night: "mommy's got a crash" "mommy's got a crash" "mommy's got a crash"! smart little boy I got.
I have in the past introduce my son to guys just as friends and then went from there. But I think the guys I have dated in the past could not handle that they have to share me......mommy time and girlfriend time. My son has talked to Allen (the guy) on the phone for just a few minutes.....my son is a talker like me, so it did not surprise me that my son told him everything in like 2 minutes. Talked about getting his new bike, and ask allen if he wanted some ice cream with us. and told him about going to his grandpa's today but i am thinking of cancelling the trip this weekend. too much stress yesterday.....
My son seems to like this guy and so do I................maybe meet today and see how it goes and then introduce my son maybe on sunday to just go to the movies as friends, does that sound ok????
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someone memtioned the "as time goes by" factor. I like to see how they interact with chikldren from their own family/neighbors. We all try to put our best foot forward when meeting anyone and sometimes... best impressions are flat out lies and misrepresentations. You're an adult, he has your interest, thats good, but you are raising a family and their best interests are something you should always be considering. Children are great sources of information when their parents are around...and not.
most parents know what i'm saying about a childs actions with parents in room and the childs actions and responses can speak volumes of a person. Slow and steady on this issue.
I like to speak of another issue ..someone befreinding the young child before you have decided whether or not you gonna do the "everafter dance". being a man this has happened to me, seeing someone a couple times, then enters a discarded upset ex prospective boyfreind who has won the heart of the child but it is clear to the adults he is using the child much like a ex spouse can do...
consider long and carefully who you introduce your child to.
I get a little leery when a woman pushes that I met her children, with lines like you'll love them, or I know my kids they'll love you , this after only 2 dates....criss sakes she don't even know me.
just a TGIF opinion
most parents know what i'm saying about a childs actions with parents in room and the childs actions and responses can speak volumes of a person. Slow and steady on this issue.
I like to speak of another issue ..someone befreinding the young child before you have decided whether or not you gonna do the "everafter dance". being a man this has happened to me, seeing someone a couple times, then enters a discarded upset ex prospective boyfreind who has won the heart of the child but it is clear to the adults he is using the child much like a ex spouse can do...
consider long and carefully who you introduce your child to.
I get a little leery when a woman pushes that I met her children, with lines like you'll love them, or I know my kids they'll love you , this after only 2 dates....criss sakes she don't even know me.
just a TGIF opinion
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Wow, your 17 yr. old is protective! Isn't it funny how the tables turn suddenly. My sons were involved with my romantic relationships but only after I was sure they would last. Well they didn't last forever, but a few years.
My 24 yr. old is a bit protective still, but he doesn't live with me now so I have more privacy. My 16 yr. old just sits back and waits to see what will happen next.
My 24 yr. old is a bit protective still, but he doesn't live with me now so I have more privacy. My 16 yr. old just sits back and waits to see what will happen next.
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Created: Jun 2006
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