my poems ( Archived) (9)

Just wanted to post some of my poems that I wrote after losing my soulmate and best friend to suicide (April 26, 1992). Doesn't seem like it has been 17 yrs already.


4-26-93 by Carla Willeford

One year ago today,
You chose to go away.
No one knows why
You chose to die.

Without a chance for good-byes,
You left me here with tearful eyes.
When I think of you, I get so mad,
Nothing could have been that bad.

The grief I've felt, you'll never know
Someday soon I'll let it go.
But for now I rely on memories,
Of the days when you were still here with me.

If I could look you in the eye,
I'd ask you why you chose to die.
I try and try, but I just can't see,
How you could ever do this to me.

I can't stand the thought of you not here,
coming over to hang out or to drink a beer.
All the long nights we spent alone,
How much I loved you, you had to have known.

Now it's all over and you're in my past,
I can't stop thinking, How long will the hurt last?
I've tried really hard, I've given it my best,
But I just can't seem to put you to rest.

by Carla Willeford

This is published in a poetry book called "Time after time" and also was published on poetry.com in 2000.


"One Wish"

If I could make one wish,
And know it would come true,
I'd wish that I could bring you back
So I could be with you.

Then all the heartaches and the tears
Would surely go away.
I'd look into your deep blue eyes,
And "I love you" is what I'd say.

i'd make your troubles go away
I'd wipe away your fears.
I'd make all your dreams come true,
If only you were here.

When people tell me that you're gone,
It brings me so much pain.
Because I know you're still here with me,
I know I'm not insane.

I feel you in my presence,
Each and every day.
i hear you softly whisper,
"I'll never go away".

If I could make one wish,
We would never had to part.
Sometimes I feel my wish came true,
'Cause you live within my heart.

By Carla Willeford

"Lost Love"

We started out as casual friends,
No broken hearts, no rules to bend.
Our friendship grew as the years passed by,
But you didn't yet know that you had caught my eye.

I secretly loved you, faithfully and true,
As you told me of your girlfriends, old and new.
We shared our secrets through long talks on the phone,
The things I knew that no one else had known.

As the years passed by, we grew apart,
But you never once left my heart.
Then once again you entered the scene,
Your eyes saw a woman, no longer a teen.

The dream I had waited so long for had finally came true,
Though you never said the words, you showed me that you loved me too.
You were the one that never let me down,
When I was with you, there wa never a frown.

Then I started seeing someone from my past,
I thought I should, i didn't think our love would last.
Then it happened, that dreadful day,
I found out there was a child on the way.

I didn't want to tell you , I had made all the plans,
I hated telling you that I was marrying the other man.
I was stuck in the middle, which way did I turn?
Who's child was it? Which man do I burn?

I made up my mind to choose the other,
I set you free to find another.
I now share a new love and family of my own,
But the love I felt for you will never be gone.

You were my first love, thats in the past.
But in my heart, our love will last.
I had to say goodbye to you and put you to rest,
It hurt like Hell and i'm still a mess.

you're out of your misery and in a better place,
It's just so hard to believe, it hasn't touched base.
I will love you forever in my own special way,
I will think of you and miss you every single day.
I sit here with a broken heart and eyes full of tears,
As I say goodbye to the man I've loved for 13 yrs.

But we will meet again soon at Heaven's door,
And all the heartache and tears will be no more.
So until I reach that special place,
I'll remember your touch and your smiling face.... I love you!

by Carla Willeford

"Young Love"

Two young hearts, alive and in love
Brought together by our Father up above.
They know not what their future holds,
Their loves fate is still yet to be told.
Hearts that beat wild and free,
Careless whispers of what will be.
Will they grow as one, or grow apart?
Will their love last, or break their heart?
Only time will tell, as each day goes by,
Will they be happy or sad tears they cry?
Two hearts found by God up above,
Two hearts together, that makes up young love.

By Carla Willefor