Travles ( Archived) (25)

ok,this might take a few pages ... so hold on ...

While I was working for Butlin’s on the south coast of the UK, I met a guy called Michael. He was my immediate supervisor and became a long-time source of information, entertainment and mischief. The security guards used to call the pair of us “The Teflon Twins” If anything was going to happen, you could guarantee that Michael and I would be around it, in it or the cause of it. But security never got any proof. Hence the nickname, that nothing could be ever made to stick!

This meeting was to change my life irrevocably and open my mind to the possibilities of unlimited travel opportunities. He was a funny guy. British by birth, but Irish by choice. Born in Derry in the Northern Ireland part of Ireland. He stood six foot tall and had a slight stoop. His red hair and green eyes made him stand out quite dramatically against the rest of us brown-haired lot. He had a quick, rapier like wit, and a quick and exact eye for detail. One day whilst working he mentioned to one of the other guys that he used to play judo. I used to do a little bit of judo and this was a talking point. Being that he knew of Ray (my sister’s other half) we got talking and he casually mentioned that he also scuba dived.

I had never thought about diving as a hobby, being that one of my misconceptions was that it was for extremely fit people. My being a perfect shape for couch-potato type activities made me a little sceptical of the wisdom of subjecting myself to hours of swimming tests and underwater breath holding. But Michael assured me that it wasn’t like that and I should come along to the dive centre and try it on my next day off.

It was always convenient that Michael and I had always the same days off as each other, and that it seemed to fit quite nicely in with the Tuesday’s pay days and Wednesday’s recovery days after the Tuesday’s beer nights! So, on this particular occasion I decided I was not going to drink my wages in one night and stay sober to get to the dive centre for 9am. Much, I might add, to the amusement of the other members of the entertainment team.
I awoke at the usual time and experienced a strange sensation on Wednesday morning. I had no hangover! A very odd situation. Well, I suppose I better make the most of it.
The dive centre was a commercial caravan on the promenade. It was about 40 foot long (15metres) and about 15 foot wide (5metres) There were other storage containers next to it and it was a bright sunny day. A good start.

When I inquired as to how much it was, I nearly had a heart attack. It was a month’s salary! But I had a plan. I was allowed to pay as I went along. So I marshalled my savings and it came to a quarter of what I needed. A good deposit. I got the book and watched three videos and I was ready to go. The instructor and I did some class work and then we got ready for the pool. After the day had finished, I had decided I want to be an instructor and I want to do this for a living. But financial constraints were dictating that I had to take it slowly. Too slowly for my liking. So I put into action my plan. Before Butlin’s I was working for Sealink (cross-channel ferries from Dover to Calais) I got a staff pass. I was allowed 25% discount on duty free items. So the plan was to take my little car down to Dover, cross over, bring back loads of booze and cigarettes, and then sell them to the other staff of Butlin’s. So, I did this trip four times a week for two weeks and had saved enough to pay for my first three diving courses!

Out into the hallway, we shut the door, but then we encountered another problem. We had not counted on the blood in our alcohol to need to be disposed of in such a short space of time. I guess with all of the aforementioned entertainment our concentration had lapsed and our bodily control had diminished. I gave the diver’s signal for “I have a problem” and then pointed to my groin. Michael also did the same thing. The question was, could it wait? For me, no! I had to visit the bathroom. So I signalled to Michael that he should look in the bedroom and I would visit the bathroom. I opened the door and was just about to relieve myself, when a small piece of white material caught my eye. I had hit the mother lode! In the bathroom, was a whole selection of our manager’s underwear hanging daintily over the bath! So, I leisurely finished my activity whilst watch and enjoying the sight of so much lingerie in easy reach and then as I was leaving the bathroom, I grabbed the smallest piece of lingerie I could find and stuffed it in my pocket! Michael had also found the “knickers-drawer” and was choosing a suitable item for display. Both having fulfilled the mission objective, we started for the main door.

Just as we were leaving through the door, a male face appeared from the rather large young lady’s bedroom and he caught full sight of Michael and I as we were leaving. We looked at him and there was no hint of recognition. (This being because he had only arrived on Sunday, and knew no-one) But we signalled to him to be quiet and showed the purloined underwear, and intimated to him that the night of passion with the rather large young lady was going to be kept between us. If he forgot that he had ever seen us! He readily agreed and we disappeared out of the door and down the stairs. When we had finally stopped running, we dissolved into peals of laughter. We finally made it back to Michael's apartment

In the morning, our male colleagues greeted us, all demanding to know how we had fared. But first, Michael had to take charge and make sure all of the cleaning was done properly before the children came in and started playing.
Just as we had finished, our manager came in a foul temper. It seems that the person she shared an apartment with had brought a man back last night. He had urinated all over the floor and been in her room, left big muddy foot prints all over the white rug she had just put on the floor and stolen some of her underwear! She wanted to know if anybody had seen the rather large young lady with anybody last night. If they had then there would be a reward. I always wondered what the reward would have been.

Lunchtime after this, Michael and I decided to pop in to town to buy some new shoes, we reasoned that with so much mud on the old ones, we could do with a change of foot print!

Previously Michael and I had discussed where we were going to display the spoils of our endeavours and it was agreed that one pair of knickers would hang on the tube above the whole play area. It could only be seen if you were right at the entrance and you looked in this particular direction. The distance was about 50 metres from the entrance to the first pair of knickers. The second pair, which we had not counted on getting, had a special place. When the park was closed at 6pm. We had spoken to the park engineers, who were in on the joke and a couple of dirty old men at the best of times, they allowed us to use their ladder and we pinned the second piece of string to one of the tassels of the Mexican Hat.

The Mexican Hat was a popular ride. It was a circular “hat” with spaces and seats for riders. When it started going around, it was quite fast. Then it started to lift at one side and all of the passengers would be thrown around as it got faster. The tassels were actually lights on prongs sticking out, and we affixed the knickers on to one of the tassels with a nail.

We had plenty of observant children ask what a pair of knickers was doing on the ride. The knickers on the hat lasted about two weeks before someone took them off. But the knickers in the play area were still proudly hanging when I left six months later. The manager made a passing comment about three weeks later about finding some underwear on one of the rides, but Michael and I just shrugged and looked blankly at her. The rather large young lady supervisor continued to enjoy the pleasures of the wages and flesh with all the new entrants.

The victim we had seen, became a supervisor of the bar’s departments, and then he became a manager. I saw him in a regular basis when I was working in the bars as a member of the entertainment team. He would give me a knowing nod. Then would walk past, saying nothing, rather quickly, in my opinion.

Whilst enjoying the company of a couple of young ladies from the girlfriend’s group, one of them asked, Michael and I looked at each other. There was that shrug of the shoulders and the blank “Teflon Twins” stare again! Then we went back to studying! Well, that’s what we called it!

When I left Butlin’s Michael was still there. He left about three months later to return to Ireland. I saw him twice before I left for Malaysia. Once when he stayed at my house and once when I was on holiday in Ireland. The last I heard, he narrowly escaped imprisonment for being possession of 20,000 Irish punds worth of stolen cattle. I think the judge called it cattle rustling! I think he said that he found them and was bringing them to the nearest police station! All 40 of them.
“Well, your honour, it had nothing to do with me
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That should keep you going for a little bit!!!

I have been to Germany, Austria, France, Belgium, Portugal, Spain, England, Sweden, Italy, Denmark. Been in the States once, traveled to BC Canada. And lived for 23 years in Holland.

Loved every one of them.

Been all over Mexico, parts of Central America. Crossed Canada 5 times. Been in almost every state, except Wyoming, Arkansas, Maine and Hawaii. Also been to hell. Paws

Was that last visit in Florida?




lol


It is hot you know.

Thank you all for sharing with me.
Wish I could travel but the only way I can is on my computer.
Violet:bye:

:bye: :bye:

Will be heading out to the Phillipines next year

Bet they got some killer chiba there.