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You chew on other peoples fingernails.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
You answer the door before people knock.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You lick your coffee pot clean.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You have a bumper sticker that says,"Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
Cocaine is a downer.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
People get dizzy watching you.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
When you fart all you smell is cappuccino with a touch of vanilla.