so the question starts like this................... (26)
I can raise a hand and say that I've had the door locking, room banning teen 
Went for the year from 13 to 14 (she even put a sign up warning me about entering)... At one stage she felt that it was pretty good if she had managed to make a path from the door to her bed ... I was able to ignore most of it, but every couple of months, I would have a massive fit and threaten to get the wheelie bin and a rake and clean the room myself... LOL
We still have an untidy room although not as bad (just turned 15). I've also banned food in the room, but its a constant battle
I generally have to ask 3 times before something is done First time nicely, Second time firmly, Third time I mention that Im getting incredibly angry and if its not done all hell is about to break loose 
Lok, all I can say is consistant firm fair discipline... each time, every time .... OH and it will get better
Went for the year from 13 to 14 (she even put a sign up warning me about entering)... At one stage she felt that it was pretty good if she had managed to make a path from the door to her bed ... I was able to ignore most of it, but every couple of months, I would have a massive fit and threaten to get the wheelie bin and a rake and clean the room myself... LOLWe still have an untidy room although not as bad (just turned 15). I've also banned food in the room, but its a constant battle
I generally have to ask 3 times before something is done
First time nicely, Second time firmly, Third time I mention that Im getting incredibly angry and if its not done all hell is about to break loose Lok, all I can say is consistant firm fair discipline... each time, every time .... OH and it will get better
Shell225: I can raise a hand and say that I've had the door locking, room banning teen Went for the year from 13 to 14 (she even put a sign up warning me about entering)... At one stage she felt that it was pretty good if she had managed to make a path from the door to her bed ... I was able to ignore most of it, but every couple of months, I would have a massive fit and threaten to get the wheelie bin and a rake and clean the room myself... LOL
We still have an untidy room although not as bad (just turned 15). I've also banned food in the room, but its a constant battle
I generally have to ask 3 times before something is done First time nicely, Second time firmly, Third time I mention that Im getting incredibly angry and if its not done all hell is about to break loose
Lok, all I can say is consistant firm fair discipline... each time, every time .... OH and it will get better
We still have an untidy room although not as bad (just turned 15). I've also banned food in the room, but its a constant battle
I generally have to ask 3 times before something is done First time nicely, Second time firmly, Third time I mention that Im getting incredibly angry and if its not done all hell is about to break loose
Lok, all I can say is consistant firm fair discipline... each time, every time .... OH and it will get better
My Step daughter behaved like this. Even had the food ban. But she did it anyway. Finally her and my continual standoffs destroyed my marriage. Our combined stubborness destroyed those around us whom we both loved.
My fault i know. But i wasn't going to walk away and let this (Swear word) beat me. Unfortunately I lost. And unfortunately I got so lost in my battle "not" to be bested by a child I lost everything.
Sure I can look back and ask myself over & over again why didn't i turn the other cheek. But i know I couldn't or wouldn't; her personality just grated me so. My Wonderful EX and I had nothing in place to combat this child as a unit. We couldn't agree on how to curb it together. So she ignored it and I took it on head on.
So its an extremely hard road we travel with teenagers & discipline. Without the right support and the correct groundrules laid, its nasty.
My son is a breeze. Sure i can't get him to do the basic chores. But i accommodate him. With nothing more than snide comments on his laziness. My Other Syepdaughter was also a breeze. I could accommodate her teenage ideaology. But my eldest Stepdaughter. Well it was a good thing i got kicked out on the street. Who knows where it may of ended otherwise.
Morning Lok,
There has been some really good feedback, but I was wondering if you daughter had a stepdad, or had your ex virtuely raised her on her own.......I guess I am asking has your daughter had a male role model in her life?
I raised my son on my own with very little male role models. His father died when my son was 5 (his father had made no attempt to contact him), and my father who was great with him died when he was 6.
I know, at least from my experience, that my son missed out on interations with males, which is a regret I have as I feel it's a hole that I can't fill for him. I had a lot of teenager behaviour as has been expressed earlier.
Hey good luck, keep communication with one another, and choose your fights/aurguments etc.
There has been some really good feedback, but I was wondering if you daughter had a stepdad, or had your ex virtuely raised her on her own.......I guess I am asking has your daughter had a male role model in her life?
I raised my son on my own with very little male role models. His father died when my son was 5 (his father had made no attempt to contact him), and my father who was great with him died when he was 6.
I know, at least from my experience, that my son missed out on interations with males, which is a regret I have as I feel it's a hole that I can't fill for him. I had a lot of teenager behaviour as has been expressed earlier.
Hey good luck, keep communication with one another, and choose your fights/aurguments etc.
Kidmark is so very right Lok... choose your battles wisely!!!
It doesnt hurt anyone to use the Nelson Eye technique to some parenting situations......
just turn a blind eye sometimes.
It doesnt hurt anyone to use the Nelson Eye technique to some parenting situations......
just turn a blind eye sometimes.
Lok I am trying the bargaining idea at the moment.
You're looking for your favourite jeans? Oh they've not been washed? That's too bad, might wash them tomorrow - if I feel like it.
What's for dinner? Nothing at the moment - don't feel like cooking again, might do it later, then again I might not.
Maybe when you start to do some of the things I ask you to, within a reasonable amount of time then I'll think about doing stuff when it needs to be done?
Sounds fair enough to me.
You're looking for your favourite jeans? Oh they've not been washed? That's too bad, might wash them tomorrow - if I feel like it.
What's for dinner? Nothing at the moment - don't feel like cooking again, might do it later, then again I might not.
Maybe when you start to do some of the things I ask you to, within a reasonable amount of time then I'll think about doing stuff when it needs to be done?
Sounds fair enough to me.
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so if i go into her room and clean/make bed , she will start doing it herself so im not snooping around?
That's is also a tricky one as girls are different than boys and also depends on relationship between parent & child as well.
My boys never locked me out of their rooms or banned me from going in there or even closed their doors unless they had been told off.
Maybe others will post on that whom have or had girls that could shred some light.
I think these days, if you have a clean, perfect and obeying teenager, you are very very lucky indeed or else everyone just has to go through the teenager