I Love You,But I don't Want You... (70)
demonfairyNewton,hickory, North Carolina USA120 Threads 17 Polls 5,654 PostsThis happens in everyday life...Example#1:Grandparents raising there grandkids,where are the parents here,why don't they want to raise there kids there selfs....Example#2:woman/man raising there kids a lone....other party is with some one else,started a new family,hardly ever see's there kids from first relatioship......Is it a lack of commitment,are they being selfish thinking only of themselves........Do the kids grow up feeling unworthy of anyones love because of this?.....keep it nice please,just a topic for discussion......
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I have seen a lot of grandparents raising there grandkids lately..there parents are all off partying having a good time...hardly ever go see there kids,if they do at all.the grandparents give these kids plenty of love,but is it enough...you know the kids love and miss there parents and wonder what they did wrong...when its not the childs fault at all....
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Psychologically, we don't really know for sure what detriments there are to the children.
Some cases show with grandparents becoming the parents, the child grows up with love and respect.
In other cases they are a mess.
In that instance, I think if the child is loved and respected, it in turn grows with love and respect.
What about the families who stay together, are there, but are horrible?
Some people just aren't equipped to be parents, just as some people are.
Just because we can procreate, doesn't mean we all should.
imo.
Some cases show with grandparents becoming the parents, the child grows up with love and respect.
In other cases they are a mess.
In that instance, I think if the child is loved and respected, it in turn grows with love and respect.
What about the families who stay together, are there, but are horrible?
Some people just aren't equipped to be parents, just as some people are.
Just because we can procreate, doesn't mean we all should.
imo.
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demonfairy: I have seen a lot of grandparents raising there grandkids lately..there parents are all off partying having a good time...hardly ever go see there kids,if they do at all.the grandparents give these kids plenty of love,but is it enough...you know the kids love and miss there parents and wonder what they did wrong...when its not the childs fault at all....
I will say selfish parents, maybe they are young and dont realise the mistake they are making.
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Raven0: Psychologically, we don't really know for sure what detriments there are to the children.
Some cases show with grandparents becoming the parents, the child grows up with love and respect.
In other cases they are a mess.
In that instance, I think if the child is loved and respected, it in turn grows with love and respect.
What about the families who stay together, are there, but are horrible?
Some people just aren't equipped to be parents, just as some people are.
Just because we can procreate, doesn't mean we all should.
imo.
Some cases show with grandparents becoming the parents, the child grows up with love and respect.
In other cases they are a mess.
In that instance, I think if the child is loved and respected, it in turn grows with love and respect.
What about the families who stay together, are there, but are horrible?
Some people just aren't equipped to be parents, just as some people are.
Just because we can procreate, doesn't mean we all should.
imo.
good answer
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Raven0: Psychologically, we don't really know for sure what detriments there are to the children.
Some cases show with grandparents becoming the parents, the child grows up with love and respect.
In other cases they are a mess.
In that instance, I think if the child is loved and respected, it in turn grows with love and respect.
What about the families who stay together, are there, but are horrible?
Some people just aren't equipped to be parents, just as some people are.
Just because we can procreate, doesn't mean we all should.imo.
Some cases show with grandparents becoming the parents, the child grows up with love and respect.
In other cases they are a mess.
In that instance, I think if the child is loved and respected, it in turn grows with love and respect.
What about the families who stay together, are there, but are horrible?
Some people just aren't equipped to be parents, just as some people are.
Just because we can procreate, doesn't mean we all should.imo.
I have stated for a long time now...
You need a licence to have a gun, dog, car, hell even a TV and yet any fool can make children
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bjk68: I have stated for a long time now...
You need a licence to have a gun, dog, car, hell even a TV and yet any fool can make children
In all fairness,some people fall on hard times..can't afford to house and feed there kids properly ,so the grandparents help till the parent can get back on there feet again...the main thing is keeping the child safe and feedYou need a licence to have a gun, dog, car, hell even a TV and yet any fool can make children
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demonfairy: In all fairness,some people fall on hard times..can't afford to house and feed there kids properly ,so the grandparents help till the parent can get back on there feet again...the main thing is keeping the child safe and feed
Hey what about answering my post im starting to feel like the poor child that doesnt know what they have done wrong.....
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demonfairy: This happens in everyday life...Example#1:Grandparents raising there grandkids,where are the parents here,why don't they want to raise there kids there selfs....Example#2:woman/man raising there kids a lone....other party is with some one else,started a new family,hardly ever see's there kids from first relatioship......Is it a lack of commitment,are they being selfish thinking only of themselves........Do the kids grow up feeling unworthy of anyones love because of this?.....keep it nice please,just a topic for discussion......
This happens a lot out here,the children are raised sometimes totally,or at least spend more time with grandparents than parents.
Its a way of life and not many think its a negative thing.
In fact I don't claim welfare (I am a widow with 3 children under 12)because of the amount of constant pressure I would be under to go to work and leave my kids with grandparents who don't want them every day-or leave them alone(it is not explained how I should manage to leave my children during the 4 months of school holidays a year and still hold down even a part-time job)I am certainly not held in high esteem for choosing to raise them myself the best way I know how.
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demonfairy: In all fairness,some people fall on hard times..can't afford to house and feed there kids properly ,so the grandparents help till the parent can get back on there feet again...the main thing is keeping the child safe and feed
I wasrefering to lousy parents, not one who have fallen on hard times. Even parents who fall on hard times can be great parents
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tomboygirl: This happens a lot out here,the children are raised sometimes totally,or at least spend more time with grandparents than parents.
Its a way of life and not many think its a negative thing.
In fact I don't claim welfare (I am a widow with 3 children under 12)because of the amount of constant pressure I would be under to go to work and leave my kids with grandparents who don't want them every day-or leave them alone(it is not explained how I should manage to leave my children during the 4 months of school holidays a year and still hold down even a part-time job)I am certainly not held in high esteem for choosing to raise them myself the best way I know how.
Its a way of life and not many think its a negative thing.
In fact I don't claim welfare (I am a widow with 3 children under 12)because of the amount of constant pressure I would be under to go to work and leave my kids with grandparents who don't want them every day-or leave them alone(it is not explained how I should manage to leave my children during the 4 months of school holidays a year and still hold down even a part-time job)I am certainly not held in high esteem for choosing to raise them myself the best way I know how.
Sweety i give all parents who raise there kids alone.a hug and a thanks..being a single parent is one of the hardest things in the world to do.You put your kids first before yourself,in my eyes thats how it should be.I was a single parent myself,my husband passed when our daughter was only 6 months old,thanks to a fine elderly i was able to work,to bring money into the household to give my child every thing she needed...she had plenty of love...its never easy,some chose the easy way out,you didn't my hats off to you.
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bjk68: I wasrefering to lousy parents, not one who have fallen on hard times. Even parents who fall on hard times can be great parents
I know,i didn't mean to click on your post sorry ------ This thread is Archived ------
demonfairy: Sweety i give all parents who raise there kids alone.a hug and a thanks..being a single parent is one of the hardest things in the world to do.You put your kids first before yourself,in my eyes thats how it should be.I was a single parent myself,my husband passed when our daughter was only 6 months old,thanks to a fine elderly i was able to work,to bring money into the household to give my child every thing she needed...she had plenty of love...its never easy,some chose the easy way out,you didn't my hats off to you.
Thanks demonfairy,I've always wanted to be a stay at home mum,so I don't see it as a sacrifice of any sort.My husband died leaving me with a 10 month baby,a 4 year old and a 6 year old,I don't regret staying home to raise them,not one bit as they make me proud,the evidence is clear that they are thriving.I do feel a dilemma sometimes with things like after school dance lessons etc that my income wont stretch too.But i guess you can't have everything
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bjk68: I have stated for a long time now...
You need a licence to have a gun, dog, car, hell even a TV and yet any fool can make children
You need a licence to have a gun, dog, car, hell even a TV and yet any fool can make children
The dog pound has many written requirements for taking a puppy or kitten home. But to take a baby home? The hospital has none.------ This thread is Archived ------
I think a lot of kids these days have mummy, or daddy abandonment issues, my daughter is one of them.
No matter how hard I tried to compensate, I could not mask the pain of her father being involved and then abandoning her.
Now she is carrying my grandchild she is dealing with a similar issue, the father of her child having alternately wanted involvement and denied paternity since finding out she was pregnant.
The child is definitely his, but her current feeling is its better to have no father at all, than one who gets involved as and when he chooses.
Perhaps consistency is the biggest factor in the scenarios that you paint, too, DF. Maybe, a child can grow up stable if they have stability, regardless of who raises them.
Jac xxx
PS. I don't include a parent dying in this scenario - although that is disturbing and feelings of abandonment may be part of the normal grieving process, it can be rationalized in a way that a parent just not wanting contact any more, can't be.
No matter how hard I tried to compensate, I could not mask the pain of her father being involved and then abandoning her.
Now she is carrying my grandchild she is dealing with a similar issue, the father of her child having alternately wanted involvement and denied paternity since finding out she was pregnant.
The child is definitely his, but her current feeling is its better to have no father at all, than one who gets involved as and when he chooses.
Perhaps consistency is the biggest factor in the scenarios that you paint, too, DF. Maybe, a child can grow up stable if they have stability, regardless of who raises them.
Jac xxx
PS. I don't include a parent dying in this scenario - although that is disturbing and feelings of abandonment may be part of the normal grieving process, it can be rationalized in a way that a parent just not wanting contact any more, can't be.
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tomboygirl: Thanks demonfairy,I've always wanted to be a stay at home mum,so I don't see it as a sacrifice of any sort.My husband died leaving me with a 10 month baby,a 4 year old and a 6 year old,I don't regret staying home to raise them,not one bit as they make me proud,the evidence is clear that they are thriving.I do feel a dilemma sometimes with things like after school dance lessons etc that my income wont stretch too.But i guess you can't have everything
Just a couple of thoughts for you to mull over--many organizations have "scholarship" type programs, such as YMCA/YWCA, that help low or challenged income families access dance lessons, summer camps, various other outings. A valid argument has always been that the child would be singled out as a charity case, etc... but I believe (in Oregon, anyway) this is not lawful to disclose. There is a dance academy in Portland that offers a work-for-lessons program; see if your county, etc... has a "Boys And Girls Club" or similar. There are many options, one must do a little footwork, networking. Awhile ago we had a flap about a high school coach making a decision on inclusion based on the fact that he came from a single-mom home. (He isn't working any more). It is high time for kids to stop being halted from areas of growth, and therefore qualifying for higher education, simply because their mom's or dad's have a difficult financial life. It is not fair.------ This thread is Archived ------
jac379:
The child is definitely his, but her current feeling is its better to have no father at all, than one who gets involved as and when he chooses.
The child is definitely his, but her current feeling is its better to have no father at all, than one who gets involved as and when he chooses.
I have a friend thats 7months preggers, same situation...Also her thought on the subject,
Childs well being must come first
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I had the 2 parents, one was awesome one sucked rocks.
But I had the love from one of them. And although I may be a bit touched in the head.
I'm pretty decent.
Granparents, one parent.
It's all about the love and care the kid recieves.
Plus there's tons of outside interference that can make or break a kid.
The family is a basis, the foundation. But a sound foundation is nothing if there's rot in the wall.
But I had the love from one of them. And although I may be a bit touched in the head.
I'm pretty decent.
Granparents, one parent.
It's all about the love and care the kid recieves.
Plus there's tons of outside interference that can make or break a kid.
The family is a basis, the foundation. But a sound foundation is nothing if there's rot in the wall.
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So true,there are so many reasons now a days,being homeless could be another...The main thing is a child feels love,is feed,has a roof over there heads.....no child should ever be afraid,they should be kept safe no matter where it is at the moment.My child had a few issues because of having no father,still does...was tuff on her on parents day at school,when other kids dads came,she had to tell here daddy had passed away,but she is a happy grown adult now with two kids of her own..she home schools the girl,the boy is in college at the age of 13...finishing high school there,plus college courses...he will be a college grad.at the age of 18,he loves it there,theres 50 kids his age,its a goverment program.
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