Texting and stuff n stuff (23)
SereneGreen: So my best friend has been with this guy about twice or three times and they keep meeting co-incidently when they are out and since they have been texting every day more or less since the last time they met. She is worried about the fact that he is a little shy and she usually has to strike up the conversation by text...she is getting a bit paranoid that he may think she is annoying him....most times he will reply apart from the odd time. God know's what he would do if she actually called him even but her question to me was this;
Does there come a point where you just stop texting to see if they start the conversation themselves.....or do I just ask out straight how come you dont seem to text me first and am I annoying you??
I presume she likes him .... well I know she does but it's a toughie as he seems a little shy and out of the dating/relationship loop for a while.....
What do you reckon........
Does there come a point where you just stop texting to see if they start the conversation themselves.....or do I just ask out straight how come you dont seem to text me first and am I annoying you??
I presume she likes him .... well I know she does but it's a toughie as he seems a little shy and out of the dating/relationship loop for a while.....
What do you reckon........
For me, if he doesn't start initiating conversation/text/IM and make an effort, then I stop trying too.
No point in beating a dead horse. If he's interested he'll make contact, if he's not he wont.
She needs to ask him what/how he feels??? Some people don't mind texting and see it as part of the whole getting to know you thing ... for some it's bothers??? honest communication is what your friend needs???
JMO?
JMO?
70Libra: For me, if he doesn't start initiating conversation/text/IM and make an effort, then I stop trying too.
No point in beating a dead horse. If he's interested he'll make contact, if he's not he wont.
No point in beating a dead horse. If he's interested he'll make contact, if he's not he wont.
I think if you start playing games like I'm not texting first, you can shoot yourself in the foot and lose everything. The truth is that your friend has absolutely no idea what's going through his head unless she comes straight out and asks him no matter how good she thinks she is at reading people's mind!
Adults need to be able to tell each other what they need out of the relatioship and if they can't get over this small hurdle without all these guessing games, I don't rate their chances for staying together.
skinnyminnypink: She needs to ask him what/how he feels??? Some people don't mind texting and see it as part of the whole getting to know you thing ... for some it's bothers??? honest communication is what your friend needs??? JMO?
I agree maybe she needs to ask him ...cause i know a lot of guys who dont do tx ......so maybe he's one of them or as serena said he might be just shy
Well you see therein lay my quandry when she asked my advice because.......I agree with all three of the above so I kind of said to her to go with her gut and do what she wanted to do......be it text or not text ....... I wouldn't want to be seen as the overly eager one yet I would not like to get into the whole mind games thing either.....we're all a bit too old for that kind of school yard crap (sorry!) but to be honest she is older than me and in your mid thirties would you really want to be dealing with that kind of stuff 
Godsgift: I think if you start playing games like I'm not texting first, you can shoot yourself in the foot and lose everything. The truth is that your friend has absolutely no idea what's going through his head unless she comes straight out and asks him no matter how good she thinks she is at reading people's mind!
Adults need to be able to tell each other what they need out of the relatioship and if they can't get over this small hurdle without all these guessing games, I don't rate their chances for staying together.
Adults need to be able to tell each other what they need out of the relatioship and if they can't get over this small hurdle without all these guessing games, I don't rate their chances for staying together.
I can be a little too obvious. If I'm keen - I'm keen. Take it or don't...
delamer: I can be a little too obvious. If I'm keen - I'm keen. Take it or don't...
Me too! but you see with me I don't/can't beat around the bush, it's not in my nature.....If I like you .....I'll say so..because I'd rather know from the off if I'm barking up the wrong tree ..... then everyone know's where they stand 
delamer: I can be a little too obvious. If I'm keen - I'm keen. Take it or don't...
And I really do love you too, Del!!!!
SereneGreen: Me too! but you see with me I don't/can't beat around the bush, it's not in my nature.....If I like you .....I'll say so..because I'd rather know from the off if I'm barking up the wrong tree ..... then everyone know's where they stand
And that's the advice you need to pass on to your friend!!!!!
If she stops texting then he may think she is not interested however I would be honest with him about it then if he did not initiate the contact then i would stop doing all the running, if he is interested enough he will contact. JMO 
In response to: So my best friend has been with this guy about twice or three times and they keep meeting co-incidently when they are out and since they have been texting every day more or less since the last time they met. She is worried about the fact that he is a little shy and she usually has to strike up the conversation by text...she is getting a bit paranoid that he may think she is annoying him....most times he will reply apart from the odd time. God know's what he would do if she actually called him even but her question to me was this;
Does there come a point where you just stop texting to see if they start the conversation themselves.....or do I just ask out straight how come you dont seem to text me first and am I annoying you??
I presume she likes him .... well I know she does but it's a toughie as he seems a little shy and out of the dating/relationship loop for a while.....
What do you reckon........
Does there come a point where you just stop texting to see if they start the conversation themselves.....or do I just ask out straight how come you dont seem to text me first and am I annoying you??
I presume she likes him .... well I know she does but it's a toughie as he seems a little shy and out of the dating/relationship loop for a while.....
What do you reckon........
I think in order to prevent herself from getting hurt to be upfront with him and ask him how he feels? if his interested?
other wise she might be putting all her eggs in one basket hoping he calls or texts and if he doesn't well she'll feel rejected.. asking him straight out if his interested is better and if his not she can move on and find someone who is
SereneGreen: Well you see therein lay my quandry when she asked my advice because.......I agree with all three of the above so I kind of said to her to go with her gut and do what she wanted to do......be it text or not text ....... I wouldn't want to be seen as the overly eager one yet I would not like to get into the whole mind games thing either.....we're all a bit too old for that kind of school yard crap (sorry!) but to be honest she is older than me and in your mid thirties would you really want to be dealing with that kind of stuff
As you said their older ..that does'nt mean hes got the whole tx savy thing going on ..so maybe he just not into txing ..there are so many guys who just dont know how ..JMO
Godsgift: I think if you start playing games like I'm not texting first, you can shoot yourself in the foot and lose everything.
True... but when he never sends the first text? When all communication is initiated my me? It gets rather disheartening
I'd rather go without altogether than feel as though he's doing me a favour.
I'll take that shot to the foot!!
70Libra: True... but when he never sends the first text? When all communication is initiated my me? It gets rather disheartening
I'd rather go without altogether than feel as though he's doing me a favour.
I'll take that shot to the foot!!
I'd rather go without altogether than feel as though he's doing me a favour.
I'll take that shot to the foot!!
70Libra: True... but when he never sends the first text? When all communication is initiated my me? It gets rather disheartening
I'd rather go without altogether than feel as though he's doing me a favour.
I'll take that shot to the foot!!
I'd rather go without altogether than feel as though he's doing me a favour.
I'll take that shot to the foot!!
That's fine but you need to tell him that's how you feel. He won't necesserily know. Perhaps other relationships have ended the same way for him because nobody has ever told him. You have to communicate.
But if you can't communicate about a small thing like this, then really what hope does the relationship have for the future when they need to communicate over something important.
But I have to laugh all us singletons full of advice for someone who is at least in a relationship as if we're oracles of wisdom who have made a great success of our own!
Godsgift: That's fine but you need to tell him that's how you feel. He won't necesserily know. Perhaps other relationships have ended the same way for him because nobody has ever told him. You have to communicate.
But if you can't communicate about a small thing like this, then really what hope does the relationship have for the future when they need to communicate over something important.But I have to laugh all us singletons full of advice for someone who is at least in a relationship as if we're oracles of wisdom who have made a great success of our own!
There isn't a relationship between them....in so far as I know.....just happened to be a casual thing whereby they met randomly out of the blue a few times then swapped numbers etc etc.......hence the confusion ......i think But if you can't communicate about a small thing like this, then really what hope does the relationship have for the future when they need to communicate over something important.But I have to laugh all us singletons full of advice for someone who is at least in a relationship as if we're oracles of wisdom who have made a great success of our own!
Hell she should ask him straight out , the worse thing he's gonna say is he's interested / not interested u only live once she should go for it 
u only live once she should go for it Godsgift: But if you can't communicate about a small thing like this, then really what hope does the relationship have for the future when they need to communicate over something important.
There's the crux of it... no adequate communication there in the first place in order to put across the question!
skinnyminnypink: Best to know??? And how is your friend taking this??
she's still deciding ...... so not sure but i guess if a guy is really interested he would make more of an effort to show it .... well in my opinion....personally it wouldnt be my cup of tea but sure she might get drunk some night and think what the hell More Threads
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Created: Sep 2010
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Does there come a point where you just stop texting to see if they start the conversation themselves.....or do I just ask out straight how come you dont seem to text me first and am I annoying you??
I presume she likes him .... well I know she does but it's a toughie as he seems a little shy and out of the dating/relationship loop for a while.....
What do you reckon........