Venting ( Archived) (10)

I'm not the sort to put my personal problems out in front of my friends but since I hardly know any of you and I need to get this off my chest so here goes.

My soon to be ex and I had an unwritten aggrement were I kept our daughter from Monday to Monday and she would have her the following week. we have been doing this for over a year and a half now. Well yesterday at 4pm an hour before I was to leave work to go pick up my daughter for my week with her I recieved a phone call saying I had a visitor downstairs. When I went down there, there was a police officer there. I was served with some kind of restraining order saying I cant go within 500 feet of my ex's apartment. Fine never been there didnt even know the address until I saw it on the form. Cant go within in 500 feet of my ex's work fine never been there either. The last part, the part thats going to kill me is I cant come within 500 feet of my daughters school. So that means I dont get to see her any more. I've seen my ex twice in the past 12 months once at our daughters birthday party and the other time at a mutual friends wedding were our daughter was the flower girl. My ex and I dont see each other we dont talk on the phone. The only time and way we converse was thru email. Our daughter has asthma so the only communication that even happened thru email was about her medicine and the monthly email were my ex would tell me she had transferred the money for the car insurance since she is still on my policy. In all honesty when I read what was written I so wanted to go off the deep end and get even with someone. Mostly my ex or her boyfriend that I'm sure had a part in this since him and I have never gotten along. Walking in on your so called life partner and another man kind of makes you not like a person.

Guess I'm done with my venting for now.

Michael,
Since you do at least have an email address the rational thing would be to email her and calmly ask your ex what is going on.

Wait for her response before taking any further action.

The first thing that stuck out in your note was the word " unwritten agreement ".

We live in a day where the handshake no longer works, I am sorry to say. I have learned that you have to cover your *&#@ and get everything in writing and signed/noterized or have legal involved.

I am sorry about the situation you are in, my children did not live, however, the pain must be terrible.

She must have had some assistance with the legal process and I am wondering why she felt it necessary to do this.

I would make sure that when you contact her, it is within the legality of the system and go from there, you may want some type of legal counsel regarding the contact with her.

You have right to see and provide for your daughter, unless otherwise dictated to you by a court.

Hang in there..............wish you the best.

Michael, I so agree with Star on this one. You need to seek
legal advice. Do not go off on her or boyfriend and give
yourself time to collect your thoughts.

“Since you do at least have an email address the rational thing would be to email her and calmly ask your ex what is going on.”
That would be a violation of the restraining order, and get him charged with contempt. DON’T DO IT. I would first want to know if this were a temporary order or a permanent one. Most are only temporary until there is a hearing to decide whether or not a permanent one should be issued. If it is only a temp, then you go to court and contest it. But it depends on what your local laws are.
Then I would wonder what grounds she is claiming for this. If they are all just a pack of lies, you have to prove they are. Usually works “guilty until proven innocent”.

I've read over that form at least a dozen times. It didnt say anything about the phone or email but I would rather be safe than sorry. I called my father in law last night and asked him what was going on. He told me that he spoke to her this past weekend and knew that she was going to do it but had no idea what was possesing her to do so. He really has been a good friend to me and I can honestly say I believe him 100%. He saw the way I treated his daughter and his grandchild and cant believe everything that his daughter has done.

I've got a court date 09-28-06 at 8:15 to object to this. Hopefully when the court date comes the judge will be able to see that this is frivolous.

now you know a unwritten aggrement is no good always get it in writing and have it notarize.


now what grounds or what reasons was the restranining order taken out.in order to have one taken out they have to have reason.in the state of florida when one is taken out.both parties will have to go before a judge and the judge will decide if it will stand.


you will also have the right to state your case before the judge.but do not violate the order.for if you do you will go to jail.do not even go to your daughter schools cause they will call the police on you.


if you cannot afford a lawyer find legal aide and see if they can handle your case.see if they can get visitation set up for you.


if you have not already start paying child support no matter what is going on between you and your ex.you child still needs to be taking care of.the good thing about paying child support in the state of florida.


if they found no reason to see your child,than you have the right to see your child.they will enforce the order as long as you do not give them a reason not to.


i know the system is screwed up but i know it works,if you work within the system and do not take matters into your own hands,when you do take matters in your own hands it makes things worst.


i know the system works on in jacksonville on 12-16-93 i was giving full custody of my 5 children,which has stood for 14 years now.trust me with my ex i have been through it all


but i learn how to let the system do it's job and i learn the hard way when you do not let it.when you work against the system you only make things worst and not better.


now is not the time to get mad,for when you get mad you do stupid things,which sometimes you regret.when you have that restraining order against you and you do something stupid.you can lose all rights to your child.


just stay calm and let the system do it's job or it will do a job on you