Ambrose2007: Hmmm...funny you should creativity - I'm working on a novel based loosely on my experiences. Also on a website devoted to relationship issues. There's nothing I find more comforting in these circumstances than writing (as gg knows to her great exasperation ) Thanks for the suggestion, Jono. And I love the art I saw on your profile.
I wonder if I should built BUILD a beer rack for my Bud Lite??
Ambrose2007: Hmmm...funny you should creativity - I'm working on a novel based loosely on my experiences. Also on a website devoted to relationship issues. There's nothing I find more comforting in these circumstances than writing (as gg knows to her great exasperation ) Thanks for the suggestion, Jono. And I love the art I saw on your profile.
I wonder if I should built BUILD a beer rack for my Bud Lite??
yabbadabbadontsomewhere, Waikato New Zealand1,692 posts
Hi Sultry....
Very well put....
ANd SIngleforever..... I understand where you are coming from too...
For different reasons.... Am happy to be on my own as well....After having a stressful relationship with someone that was bad for me.... Just the thought of a relationship sends my stress levels up a tad at the moment
But I haven't really given up...but am certainly taking my time before getting invloved with someone again....
sultryash: Exactly that Jeff. No relationship can work if only one person is giving and doing all the work all the time.
I have learned alot actually.......I never knew I had such patience and tolerance. I know now that because I love myself and deserve and have the right to be treated well, then I shouldnt settle for less no matter what, but have the wisdom to understand that compromise is of major importance and it must be from both persons.
It is imperative that when a relationship ends that we must do the work emotionally. If we don't then we end up bringing another person into our circle of emotional instability and that only creates new problems for the relationship.....I understand that no matter how much two people may love each other, if the ground work isn't done individually before they enter into a union then that relationship cant stand a chance.
The bolded/colored/enlarged portion really speaks to me, A. Neither of us did that work - didn't resolve our issues from our past relationships, or even resolved those relationships themselves - before we embarked on our romance. That came back to haunt us big-time.
As far as other issues...well, as I've written about previously here, you don't always know what to work on until you're there. Each relationship I've been in (well, there have only been two, since they're fairly easy to keep track of! ) raised unique problems where the solutions seemed obvious only in retrospect. I'm not sure how useful generalizing from this one will be, though I've certainly spent godzillions of hours contemplating every possible bad attitude on my part and just about everything else.
I've learned a huge amount...but so much of the learning is centered on understanding a particular and uber-unique individual whom I expect never to see the likes of again. As a result, I believe I know a great deal about what makes her tick, but it remains to be seen how useful that will be on the next go-round. Assuming there is another go-round...
sultryashBridgetown, Saint Michael Barbados3,203 posts
yabbadabbadont: Hi Sultry....
Very well put....
ANd SIngleforever..... I understand where you are coming from too...
For different reasons.... Am happy to be on my own as well....After having a stressful relationship with someone that was bad for me.... Just the thought of a relationship sends my stress levels up a tad at the moment
But I haven't really given up...but am certainly taking my time before getting invloved with someone again....
Hugs for you both
Hi J
Live life and be happy........thats what i am doing.........all the best to you too
aawww....i'm canadian... there can be only one answer to that question....grin.
And maybe a shoe rack, too, since you Canucks are so intent on removing your shoes (me, I love to come in from a muddy field and just kick my boots up on the table while slurping cheap beer and shooting my trusty .357 at my indoor targets while watching Jerry Springer...but hey, I'm just a typical red-blooded American, after all )
Live life and be happy........thats what i am doing.........all the best to you too
I thought for a moment there, A, that you were going to break out with that "Be happy, don't worry" song. Thank Zeus you didn't!
Seriously, I appreciate the sentiments. But really, this isn't about me...well, maybe some of it is...okay, it entirely is - but still, it's not consolation or mourning, I think, but rather understanding. And spiritual enlightenment. Both of which are telling me it's time for another beer...
sultryashBridgetown, Saint Michael Barbados3,203 posts
Ambrose2007: I thought for a moment there, A, that you were going to break out with that "Be happy, don't worry" song. Thank Zeus you didn't!
Seriously, I appreciate the sentiments. But really, this isn't about me...well, maybe some of it is...okay, it entirely is - but still, it's not consolation or mourning, I think, but rather understanding. And spiritual enlightenment. Both of which are telling me it's time for another beer...
Sounds like you've had one too much already Jeff Anyways i wish I could stay and chat a little more but I am off to bed....have a plane to catch early in the morning.
Ambrose2007: And maybe a shoe rack, too, since you Canucks are so intent on removing your shoes (me, I love to come in from a muddy field and just kick my boots up on the table while slurping cheap beer and shooting my trusty .357 at my indoor targets while watching Jerry Springer...but hey, I'm just a typical red-blooded American, after all )
nah....we only take our shoes off to put on our skates...grin. and here on the coast, it's 2 minutes left in the 1st, 1-zip for canucks/SJ on big game #5. (did i just become a cliche'?...lol)
jono7: nah....we only take our shoes off to put on our skates...grin. and here on the coast, it's 2 minutes left in the 1st, 1-zip for canucks/SJ on big game #5. (did i just become a cliche'?...lol)
sultryash: Sounds like you've had one too much already Jeff Anyways i wish I could stay and chat a little more but I am off to bed....have a plane to catch early in the morning.
Stay well Jeff
Goodnite All
'Night, A. Have a safe trip!
And you're right - I will cut back on the pancakes!
jono7: nah....we only take our shoes off to put on our skates...grin. and here on the coast, it's 2 minutes left in the 1st, 1-zip for canucks/SJ on big game #5. (did i just become a cliche'?...lol)
1 - zip for what? Are we talking curling?
You people and your curling and hockey. It just about drove me nuts during my relationship with a canuck.
AND GOD I'M GONNA MISS IT (and all those crazy Canadianisms)!!
kidatheart: I think I'm one of the few Canadians that doesn't watch sports at all, but I do drink the odd beer. Sometimes the even ones too.
I'm close to Trail, a ways from Van.
Ah, this is great. Love springs afresh from the rotting and probably besotted corpse of my romantic love. Hey, folks, some discretion here - my "love body" is still warm!
Wouldn't that be something, though, if my little pity party actually led to a serendipitous meeting of hearts?
(Just be a little cautious, Harry; judging from one of Jono's paintings, she's a crack shot! )
Ambrose2007: Ah, this is great. Love springs afresh from the rotting and probably besotted corpse of my romantic love. Hey, folks, some discretion here - my "love body" is still warm!
Wouldn't that be something, though, if my little pity party actually led to a serendipitous meeting of hearts?
(Just be a little cautious, Harry; judging from one of Jono's paintings, she's a crack shot! )
too funny! you looked at them. (thank you) and yes, i took one to the rifle range and shot is up quite well. lol. they told me i was a natural...lol. (thanks for taking the time to have a look at them)
and attractive/intelligent as kidatheart is...i'm no cougar...grin. just making friends.
i hate seeing someone saying goodbyes...maybe you should says..."GOODLUCK"...forget the heartaches accept the truth and move on...that's life how it goes.
montecito: When you reach my age and fall in love what you think is for the last time and then you realize it was all a sham to him, it certainly does hurt and does involve drama. I was thrown to the curb without any notice. When I realized what was happening I acted like a school girl and begged him to come back to me. I cried night and day, spent money I didn't have, argued with family and almost lost my job. It took years for me to get my act together again. He was the love of my life and even though there definitely is someone out there who could light up my life, I will never take the chance again to trust someone enough to give my heart away one more time.
The way to avoid it happening again is never to fall in love again. It's that simple.
If your thread is about you being hurt, I'm very sorry that you are going through this horrific pain.
If your thread is about Oprah leaving her daily show, get over it.....
OPRAH'S LEAVING!!?? Just when I thought I was starting to find some peace with my grief!
Thanks, Monte, for your story. That's some of the detail that I've been hoping for.
That seems so sad to let someone like him - and I say this to Forever Single as well - to deprive you of the chance for love. To me, that seems like being horribly hurt twice: once during the relationship, and then again for years afterward.
I would think twice about letting someone impose that double-penalty on you. (Again, I'm saying this to every lady or guy who is so traumatized by a past relationship that they've given up on love.)
Ambrose2007: I'm not sure about how you know or what you do, but I do have a pretty good idea how it feels.
For me, it feels like what I imagine dying might feel like. You want to take one more breath, but you can't. No matter how much you want to breathe again, you've taken your last breath. You have to accept and - somehow - let go.
I wrote a song about it, called "Virtually Love."
Goodbye Forget me if you dare My lonely cries vanish in thin air My world may burn but you won't - won't even care
Goodbye Leave me if you can Your stubborn pride Defies a divine plan If I live forever I will never Understand
(It's in the key of C minor, if anyone cares.)
sorry about that. But, i feel the same way now. Just found out last week, my man has an affair and I feel numb. Am trying to accept and let it go. at moment, just focus on my work and hang out wit friends
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I wonder if I should
builtBUILD a beer rack for my Bud Lite??The pancakes and beer strike again...