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The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over ( Archived) (217)

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  4. The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
#81
May 25, 2011 10:58 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
BB_snickers
BB_snickersBB_snickersNarnia, Ontario Canada56 Threads 3,755 Posts
BB_snickersNarnia, Ontario Canada3,755 posts
Dagosto: Wouldn't C minor be the relative minor of E flat major? Not B.


Dating a minor or a relative is ill advised. laugh
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#82
May 25, 2011 11:02 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
BB_snickers
BB_snickersBB_snickersNarnia, Ontario Canada56 Threads 3,755 Posts
BB_snickersNarnia, Ontario Canada3,755 posts
Catharsis is how we move through life. To welcome it makes the shift more pleasant; to close the door on it suspends our movement and growth. It is not the catharsis itself that is suffering; but, one's resistance to it.

writing
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#83
May 25, 2011 11:04 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Ambrose2007OPBFE, South Dakota USA8,881 posts
Nikogas: you've been here a very long time, you have many many friends. I hope you drop by. I didn't think that I would ever come back let alone post in the forums but here I am. I wish you all the best!
;-}


Thanks, Nik! I imagine I'll keep hanging out... wave
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#84
May 25, 2011 11:05 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Ambrose2007OPBFE, South Dakota USA8,881 posts
lucynad: may i join the club?

and like RDM i belong to the quitters category...

i do think like Life as well...

i have been always thinking that my protection from being hurt is to love to the fullest...instead of to live

as much paradoxical as it may appear it, somehow, leaves me without any regrets...

and without the feeling of having lost...

having intensively loved makes me feel good, very good...

and it doesn't matter that it is over...

and...

last but not least... in both cases i have quited before the period of mutual recriminations really started...


How many relationships did it take for you to reach that point, Lucy? hmmm wave
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#85
May 25, 2011 11:08 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
montecito
montecitomontecitoLovely, New Jersey USA96 Threads 2 Polls 5,086 Posts
montecitoLovely, New Jersey USA5,086 posts
Ambrose2007: Okay, putting away my .357. I prefer my .44 magnum anyway!

Don't worry, Dobe, I'm not the suicidal type. That was supposed to be a joke referring to the popular Canadian view that all or many Americans are obsessed with firearms.


I was surpised that people thought you were going to committ suicide over a broken love affair and that you would announce it in a public forums.

You hit the nail on the head about Americans being obsessed with firearms. They used the Second Amendment as their excuse when all they really want to do is to show that they are "the man" and I've got a gun and I can shoot you if I want cause my Constitution says I can....doh

Ambrose - take two aspirin with a bottle of Cocoa Cola and call me in the morning. The level of your pain will stay with you for a long time but then one day you'll realize that you are feeling a tiny bit better - that it doesn't hurt so much. You'll come to terms that it was for the best. I know that's hard to believe right now but I've been there. You will never, ever forget how much you loved her, but you will also remember how many times the two of you argued.

Don't make me come up there - laugh
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#86
May 25, 2011 11:10 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Ambrose2007OPBFE, South Dakota USA8,881 posts
BB_snickers: Catharsis is how we move through life. To welcome it makes the shift more pleasant; to close the door on it suspends our movement and growth. It is not the catharsis itself that is suffering; but, one's resistance to it.


My best friend suggests I use NLP techniques to make myself loathe the person I've come to love with all my heart. It's almost tempting...but I think I'll pass on that one. I prefer to focus on all the beautiful memories (and there are many!), but perhaps not right now.

Right now I'm following Jonno the British Columbian's advice: lose myself in creativity. I'm working so hard now that I'm in danger of burning out, though.

Time will tell, as someone once told me.blues dunno conversing purple heart
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#87
May 25, 2011 11:14 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
montecito
montecitomontecitoLovely, New Jersey USA96 Threads 2 Polls 5,086 Posts
montecitoLovely, New Jersey USA5,086 posts
lucynad: may i join the club?

and like RDM i belong to the quitters category...

i do think like Life as well...

i have been always thinking that my protection from being hurt is to love to the fullest...instead of to live

as much paradoxical as it may appear it, somehow, leaves me without any regrets...

and without the feeling of having lost...

having intensively loved makes me feel good, very good...

and it doesn't matter that it is over...

and...

last but not least... in both cases i have quited before the period of mutual recriminations really started...


I'm a quitter too Lucy. Being that I'm in the old age club I've had many relationships. Three were good and only one was the love of my life. Even when the first two didn't work I tried again and when that one didn't work (the last one) I made a decision that I couldn't trust again. You can't love someone if you don't trust them.

In all honesty, I don't miss him, I miss the happiness I felt when being in love with him.

It didn't affect my self-esteem because I know that what he did and how he did it is what puts him on Karmas list for a future endeavor and yes - I do hope that what comes around will go around for him.
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#88
May 25, 2011 11:15 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Ambrose2007OPBFE, South Dakota USA8,881 posts
montecito: I was surpised that people thought you were going to committ suicide over a broken love affair and that you would announce it in a public forums.

You hit the nail on the head about Americans being obsessed with firearms. They used the Second Amendment as their excuse when all they really want to do is to show that they are "the man" and I've got a gun and I can shoot you if I want cause my Constitution says I can....

Ambrose - take two aspirin with a bottle of Cocoa Cola and call me in the morning. The level of your pain will stay with you for a long time but then one day you'll realize that you are feeling a tiny bit better - that it doesn't hurt so much. You'll come to terms that it was for the best. I know that's hard to believe right now but I've been there. You will never, ever forget how much you loved her, but you will also remember how many times the two of you argued.

Don't make me come up there -


Yeah, I'm so manly that I'm probably the only guy with a hundred square miles who doesn't own any kind of firearm. When I hunt, I go "all natural" - just me, my stiletto high-heel boots, and a case of Budweiser Lite (to save on the shoulders!). When I see my prey, I either lure 'em in with the beer or spike 'em with a well-placed toss of a stiletto boot. blushing

Yeah, I do think of the negatives now, though that goes against my nature. I have these dreams where we argue and argue, but it seems that she never hears my words...dunno blues
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#89
May 25, 2011 11:18 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
lucynad
lucynadlucynadSunny city, Sicilia Italy7 Threads 2,431 Posts
lucynadSunny city, Sicilia Italy2,431 posts
Ambrose2007: How many relationships did it take for you to reach that point, Lucy?


lol, ambrose

i did apply in my previous post for a membership card of The 2 Loves Only Club laugh wave
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#90
May 25, 2011 11:19 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
montecito
montecitomontecitoLovely, New Jersey USA96 Threads 2 Polls 5,086 Posts
montecitoLovely, New Jersey USA5,086 posts
Ambrose2007: Yeah, I'm so manly that I'm probably the only guy with a hundred square miles who doesn't own any kind of firearm. When I hunt, I go "all natural" - just me, my stiletto high-heel boots, and a case of Budweiser Lite (to save on the shoulders!). When I see my prey, I either lure 'em in with the beer or spike 'em with a well-placed toss of a stiletto boot.

Yeah, I do think of the negatives now, though that goes against my nature. I have these dreams where we argue and argue, but it seems that she never hears my words...


You make an excellent point. People say they are good listeners but are they good at hearing what the person said. I can sit all night and listen to someone tell me their troubles or how happy they are but if I don't hear the words, and what they mean, listening means nothing.

If she heard what you were saying, you might have been able to discuss the problem. On the other hand, did you hear what she was saying or did you turn down your hearing aid?
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#91
May 25, 2011 11:29 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Ambrose2007OPBFE, South Dakota USA8,881 posts
lucynad: lol, ambrose

i did apply in my previous post for a membership card of The 2 Loves Only Club


You didn't specify whether it was the "quitter's club" or the "2 Loves Only," but in any case, I'm glad to have you aboard - the latter club, anyhow. I'm not sure about the quitting thing yet. My old body seems to have a lot of...well, something...left in it that might possibly go to waste...?

Anyhow, time will tell. Sometimes it's just better to live in the moment, or so I've heard. Today I might actually agree with that. frustrated dunno help wave
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#92
May 25, 2011 11:31 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Ambrose2007OPBFE, South Dakota USA8,881 posts
montecito: You make an excellent point. People say they are good listeners but are they good at hearing what the person said. I can sit all night and listen to someone tell me their troubles or how happy they are but if I don't hear the words, and what they mean, listening means nothing.

If she heard what you were saying, you might have been able to discuss the problem. On the other hand, did you hear what she was saying or did you turn down your hearing aid?


Oh, no doubt I have failed to hear "her words" on occasion, but I don't believe I would ever rest until I did. wave hug
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#93
May 25, 2011 11:42 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Liebe2
Liebe2Liebe2Salmiya, Hawalli Kuwait12 Threads 3,449 Posts
Liebe2Salmiya, Hawalli Kuwait3,449 posts
Ambrose2007: Thanks, Cherry. But I'm more interested in your and other CSers' experiences.

What did it feel like when you knew that someone you had loved was no longer right for you? How did you know? What did you do?

I'm hoping you all suffered horribly so we can, like "misery," love each other's company.


When you can't see yourself spending the rest of your life, happy, with the other, when you see more defaults than qualities and remember more bad times than good times spent together, it's time to ruuuuunnnnn wink

I am sorry for your pain. Hang in there. Everything happens for a reason. It just wasn't meant to be. Chin up, the sun will shine again hug
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#94
May 25, 2011 11:55 AM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
BB_snickers
BB_snickersBB_snickersNarnia, Ontario Canada56 Threads 3,755 Posts
BB_snickersNarnia, Ontario Canada3,755 posts
L hates this song too. bouquet

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#95
May 25, 2011 12:03 PM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
bodleing
bodleingbodleingGreater Manchester, England UK238 Threads 8 Polls 13,810 Posts
bodleingGreater Manchester, England UK13,810 posts
What you Do, when it's Over?

Move then with new desires.
For where we used to build and love is no-mans land,
and only ghosts can live between two fires.

C. Day-Lewis.

Simples...grin


wave
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#96
May 25, 2011 12:05 PM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
SUNSHINEB0Y
SUNSHINEB0YSUNSHINEB0Ycork, Cork Ireland2,259 Posts
SUNSHINEB0Ycork, Cork Ireland2,259 posts
Swissblueeyes: ah ive been there and done that but wont be doing that anymore..lol
I believe in dating without drama now..Not meeting guys who I see any warning signs of danger anymore..Focus on work first and worry about the other if the right one comes along.
I had a terrible heartbreak a couple years ago, couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, felt like hell and like I was living in it. cried more than i wanted to and was depressed to the point where i wished a mack truck would run me over..i lived to tell the tale and now for the past 5 months am slowly starting to mend my life back on track..



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oH2NmPH72g

genesis 7 mins
sad flower
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#97
May 25, 2011 12:13 PM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
BB_snickers
BB_snickersBB_snickersNarnia, Ontario Canada56 Threads 3,755 Posts
BB_snickersNarnia, Ontario Canada3,755 posts
Ambrose2007: Thanks, Al. There's much wisdom in your obscure words (I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you know what NLP is ;-).

Can I start with something in B Minor and work up to that?



If I advise you on this, it then becomes a collaboration for which I would require a royalty agreement in perpetuity. dance
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#98
May 25, 2011 12:23 PM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
EagleWoman
EagleWomanEagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain22 Threads 4,719 Posts
EagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain4,719 posts
trueheart1941: could you write this again.....did,nt have my hearing aid on.......thanks.........


nerd Here True! These should help!! laugh
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#99
May 25, 2011 1:53 PM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Ambrose2007OPBFE, South Dakota USA8,881 posts
BB_snickers: L hates this song too.


Then I'll be sure to listen!laugh grin
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#100
May 25, 2011 1:54 PM CST The Goodbye Thread: How you Know, What you Feel, and What you Do, when it's Over
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Ambrose2007OPBFE, South Dakota USA8,881 posts
bodleing: What you Do, when it's Over?

Move then with new desires.
For where we used to build and love is no-mans land,
and only ghosts can live between two fires.

C. Day-Lewis.

Simples...


My god, G, I had no idea it could be this easy! cheering applause uh oh
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