trust, secrets (12)
mychelleOttawa, Ontario Canada114 Threads 9 Polls 1,685 PostsWhom would you trust the most with your secrets? If you knew your friend was cheating on her husband, would you tell him, and risk your friendship with your friend, or would you keep quiet and pray he never finds out?
Would you have to tell her husband because you wouldn't have any friend to tell since she's the only one? I mean you just couldn't keep the secret to the point of having to tell someone?!
lol..I know what you mean...Your first question phrase is totally not to be mixed with this topic. I am not sure when and with whom I trust my secrets. Wouldn't my secrets belong to someone else?
Hence...thus...but...hmmmm...interesting...(For the cheating part...I'm not sure...would depend on a lot...) Perhaps in this instance this secret belongs to someone else? Then I wouldn't say anything because I would have no proof what so ever!
Cheers
lol..I know what you mean...Your first question phrase is totally not to be mixed with this topic. I am not sure when and with whom I trust my secrets. Wouldn't my secrets belong to someone else?
Hence...thus...but...hmmmm...interesting...(For the cheating part...I'm not sure...would depend on a lot...) Perhaps in this instance this secret belongs to someone else? Then I wouldn't say anything because I would have no proof what so ever!
Cheers
A secret isn't a secret if you tell someone !!!!
IF she was my friend, I would not tell him. Why? because she trusted me with it and as a friend I do have obligation not to RUN and blab. However, if he came and asked me directly? I would not lie about it, but I would tell him THEY needed to discuss it and I couldn't. He would know without me actually speaking the words.
okay...I think I get this differently now...
If my friend told me she was having an affair would I tell her husband?
-no! still does not belong to me!
If my friend told me she was having an affair would I tell her husband?
-no! still does not belong to me!
See the thread "Would You Tell"....
either way the friendship is at an risk for loss---one you tell him and he becomes embaressed and the friendship is gone especially if he decides to stay with his partner or two if he finds out you knew and said nothing--in reality an cheating person who tells her friend she is fooling around has just cheated her friend as well. An cheat is an cheat in many more ways then you think, ,they are without morals and values.
one more thing an cheat who tells an friend or carelessly exposes an friend has just cheated their friend peace of mind therefore cheated completely.
I have cheated because of what I did? Interesting. I am not the one cheating and I will not be a big fat liar either. I would not condone her affair, friend or not. There are circumstances that I would not ever say a word. It really depends on a lot of factors. I have and do keep many secrets of friends. I am trusted and part of the reason for that is because I don't lie to them either.
The way I see it; it's not my conscience...I can definitely feel for a friend and be there...but it's none of my business...if I had proofs that my friend was being cheated on. I would try to stay out of it myself...or try a way of not doing it directly...
I have enough of my own consciousss'nessesss if I may invent a new word.
Thing is you have to know your friends...
That's the first and foremost...what comes afterwards would be out of your hands... they will be dealing with it. Not you.
I have enough of my own consciousss'nessesss if I may invent a new word.
Thing is you have to know your friends...
That's the first and foremost...what comes afterwards would be out of your hands... they will be dealing with it. Not you.
What we got to remember is trust is very important and too many people make it hard to do.
Something someone else does if it doesn't involve us or harm us in any way has no true impact on us unless we our selves let it bye way of thinking it could have been me.
The care we hold would better be served in seeing the trust,the closeness,the attachment,the respect and gratitude of the other person and the courage they have for being able to admit the truth.
Right--a true friend won't condone the others wrong and will share their disapproval.
If the offense your friend is committing is too much for you to deal with than tell your friend it is and that you choice not to hear about it.
However betraying a friendship destroying a relationship can quite well come back on you making you the sole bad guy or feeling like it.
Don't be a big fat liar but stick directly with the source if you need to express dump it all back on her--for thats what she did to you and stay there.
Something someone else does if it doesn't involve us or harm us in any way has no true impact on us unless we our selves let it bye way of thinking it could have been me.
The care we hold would better be served in seeing the trust,the closeness,the attachment,the respect and gratitude of the other person and the courage they have for being able to admit the truth.
Right--a true friend won't condone the others wrong and will share their disapproval.
If the offense your friend is committing is too much for you to deal with than tell your friend it is and that you choice not to hear about it.
However betraying a friendship destroying a relationship can quite well come back on you making you the sole bad guy or feeling like it.
Don't be a big fat liar but stick directly with the source if you need to express dump it all back on her--for thats what she did to you and stay there.
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