Moving In (92)
kizzy27a south coast beach, New South Wales Australia106 Threads 6 Polls 7,413 PostsIf a guy asks to move in with a woman and the woman says no does the relationship die ? What do guys think , would you be hurt or offended?
I think alot of guys would be offended but then so would alot of girls. I guess they look at it as if you don't think you are both at the same stage in the relationship. I don't know??? I don't know how I would feel.
It would depend on the reasoning behind it all.
Why is the fella in question wanting to move in?
Why has the woman in question said no?
Perhaps she isnt sure about the direction the relationship is taking, maybe she still has children at home, so having someone move in is going to have a HUGE impact on her home and the individuals who already live there. I'd want to be darn sure that the fella in question wasnt just trying me on for size before I'd let him in my house .... my child doesnt need to go through another break up ... JMO
Is it offensive if someone doesnt want you to move in? I guess it again depends on the reasons. If they just dont see the fella as permanent fixture, take up prime bathroom real estate in their life man, then yeah, he may be feeling a bit 'used'.
If its because the two arent on the same page yet, then perhaps he should stop projecting his feelings onto her, and wait for her to get onto his page. Because if he really did/does love her, he would wait for her to catch up and be ready for the BIG movein. If he cant be bothered waiting, dating, and enjoying her company and what she does offer, then he didnt love her in the first place. (my other opinion)
Why is the fella in question wanting to move in?
Why has the woman in question said no?
Perhaps she isnt sure about the direction the relationship is taking, maybe she still has children at home, so having someone move in is going to have a HUGE impact on her home and the individuals who already live there. I'd want to be darn sure that the fella in question wasnt just trying me on for size before I'd let him in my house .... my child doesnt need to go through another break up ... JMO
Is it offensive if someone doesnt want you to move in? I guess it again depends on the reasons. If they just dont see the fella as permanent fixture, take up prime bathroom real estate in their life man, then yeah, he may be feeling a bit 'used'.
If its because the two arent on the same page yet, then perhaps he should stop projecting his feelings onto her, and wait for her to get onto his page. Because if he really did/does love her, he would wait for her to catch up and be ready for the BIG movein. If he cant be bothered waiting, dating, and enjoying her company and what she does offer, then he didnt love her in the first place. (my other opinion)
I would think they'd be offended. But if they really cared it shouldn't end the relationship.
Hell if it did then its a good job that person refused to let them move in. It shows that they never really cared.
A little open discussion should clarify the situation and bring you both to an open understanding of where you are and where your going.
Hell if it did then its a good job that person refused to let them move in. It shows that they never really cared.
A little open discussion should clarify the situation and bring you both to an open understanding of where you are and where your going.
dragondog4: I would think they'd be offended. But if they really cared it shouldn't end the relationship.
Hell if it did then its a good job that person refused to let them move in. It shows that they never really cared.
A little open discussion should clarify the situation and bring you both to an open understanding of where you are and where your going.
Hell if it did then its a good job that person refused to let them move in. It shows that they never really cared.
A little open discussion should clarify the situation and bring you both to an open understanding of where you are and where your going.
Very wise words my friend
In response to: If a guy asks to move in with a woman and the woman says no does the relationship die ? What do guys think , would you be hurt or offended?
To me this is easy!no he should not be offended as he should not have asked.
If it is the womans home its up to HER to invite him, he should not put her in this position of having to say no in the first place. JMO.
Martia: To me this is easy!no he should not be offended as he should not have asked.
If it is the womans home its up to HER to invite him, he should not put her in this position of having to say no in the first place. JMO.
If it is the womans home its up to HER to invite him, he should not put her in this position of having to say no in the first place. JMO.
Very true
Thankyou, for your opinions on this ,Personally Idont understand why a man would be offended,As Martia said its the womans home and there is a family dynamics to concider not to mention assets etc, however this is the case.I have had total silence from this man who asked me if he got work closer to me could he move in .. I said no,we have been seeing each other for 18 months but have had a few breaks as he is 3 hrs away ,A yr ago i asked him to concider moving closer ,he declined, things cooled, only recently have we reconnected.I dont wish to live with anyone while my daughter is so young as Shell said Im not playing with my daughters emotions she has been thru enough.however I didnt say any of this I just said no! He asked via the phone !!!Not very romantic!!!
I had sent 2 texts to him and heard nothing his last text read" I will not be able to come down this weekend unsure when I will next."Im pretty pissed do you think he us just sulking? Im about 5 minutes away from telling him to bugga off 4 good
MAKE THAT4
I had sent 2 texts to him and heard nothing his last text read" I will not be able to come down this weekend unsure when I will next."Im pretty pissed do you think he us just sulking? Im about 5 minutes away from telling him to bugga off 4 good
MAKE THAT4
Martia said it best.... he should never have asked!!!!
and certainly not if this was some sort of 'love test'.
I always wonder what goes through someones mind at these times, if you say yes, that means you love him, if you say no, that means you dont love him enough?
I have issue with that sort of behaviour... you cant pass a test if you dont know you are being tested. Is it fair to set up hurdles for someone to jump, if they dont even know they are facing a hurdle.
Will be interesting to hear what his idea was. Because and on again, off again 18 month relationship, isnt something I'd involve my child in, and I know that you are like me and guard your kids.
Good luck.
and certainly not if this was some sort of 'love test'.
I always wonder what goes through someones mind at these times, if you say yes, that means you love him, if you say no, that means you dont love him enough?
I have issue with that sort of behaviour... you cant pass a test if you dont know you are being tested. Is it fair to set up hurdles for someone to jump, if they dont even know they are facing a hurdle.
Will be interesting to hear what his idea was. Because and on again, off again 18 month relationship, isnt something I'd involve my child in, and I know that you are like me and guard your kids.
Good luck.
kizzy27: Thankyou, for your opinions on this ,Personally Idont understand why a man would be offended,As Martia said its the womans home and there is a family dynamics to concider not to mention assets etc, however this is the case.I have had total silence from this man who asked me if he got work closer to me could he move in .. I said no,we have been seeing each other for 18 months but have had a few breaks as he is 3 hrs away ,A yr ago i asked him to concider moving closer ,he declined, things cooled, only recently have we reconnected.I dont wish to live with anyone while my daughter is so young as Shell said Im not playing with my daughters emotions she has been thru enough.however I didnt say any of this I just said no! He asked via the phone !!!Not very romantic!!!
I had sent 2 texts to him and heard nothing his last text read" I will not be able to come down this weekend unsure when I will next."Im pretty pissed do you think he us just sulking? Im about 5 minutes away from telling him to bugga off 4 good
MAKE THAT4
Is he renting or own his own?I had sent 2 texts to him and heard nothing his last text read" I will not be able to come down this weekend unsure when I will next."Im pretty pissed do you think he us just sulking? Im about 5 minutes away from telling him to bugga off 4 good
MAKE THAT4
Shell225: Martia said it best.... he should never have asked!!!!
and certainly not if this was some sort of 'love test'.
I always wonder what goes through someones mind at these times, if you say yes, that means you love him, if you say no, that means you dont love him enough?
I have issue with that sort of behaviour... you cant pass a test if you dont know you are being tested. Is it fair to set up hurdles for someone to jump, if they dont even know they are facing a hurdle.
Will be interesting to hear what his idea was. Because and on again, off again 18 month relationship, isnt something I'd involve my child in, and I know that you are like me and guard your kids.
Good luck.
and certainly not if this was some sort of 'love test'.
I always wonder what goes through someones mind at these times, if you say yes, that means you love him, if you say no, that means you dont love him enough?
I have issue with that sort of behaviour... you cant pass a test if you dont know you are being tested. Is it fair to set up hurdles for someone to jump, if they dont even know they are facing a hurdle.
Will be interesting to hear what his idea was. Because and on again, off again 18 month relationship, isnt something I'd involve my child in, and I know that you are like me and guard your kids.
Good luck.
Well said Shell and all true
I agree with both Martia and Shell, this is your life, your family, your home environment and only you can decide what and whom you want in it.
I would have thought that a step like this should have been discussed face to face, so there could be no misunderstandings on either side.
If he is serious surely he would consider moving closer independently to see if it would work for both?
I can understand him being offended if you had brought the conversation around and then said no, but if he sprung it on you, well he should have realised there was 2 possible answers and you gave one of them.
look after yourself and your family Kizzy
I would have thought that a step like this should have been discussed face to face, so there could be no misunderstandings on either side.
If he is serious surely he would consider moving closer independently to see if it would work for both?
I can understand him being offended if you had brought the conversation around and then said no, but if he sprung it on you, well he should have realised there was 2 possible answers and you gave one of them.
look after yourself and your family Kizzy
dragondog4: I would think they'd be offended. But if they really cared it shouldn't end the relationship.
Hell if it did then its a good job that person refused to let them move in. It shows that they never really cared.
A little open discussion should clarify the situation and bring you both to an open understanding of where you are and where your going.
Hell if it did then its a good job that person refused to let them move in. It shows that they never really cared.
A little open discussion should clarify the situation and bring you both to an open understanding of where you are and where your going.
guy's take note
Martia: To me this is easy!no he should not be offended as he should not have asked.
If it is the womans home its up to HER to invite him, he should not put her in this position of having to say no in the first place. JMO.
If it is the womans home its up to HER to invite him, he should not put her in this position of having to say no in the first place. JMO.
kizzy27: Thankyou, for your opinions on this ,Personally Idont understand why a man would be offended,As Martia said its the womans home and there is a family dynamics to concider not to mention assets etc, however this is the case.I have had total silence from this man who asked me if he got work closer to me could he move in .. I said no,we have been seeing each other for 18 months but have had a few breaks as he is 3 hrs away ,A yr ago i asked him to concider moving closer ,he declined, things cooled, only recently have we reconnected.I dont wish to live with anyone while my daughter is so young as Shell said Im not playing with my daughters emotions she has been thru enough.however I didnt say any of this I just said no! He asked via the phone !!!Not very romantic!!!
I had sent 2 texts to him and heard nothing his last text read" I will not be able to come down this weekend unsure when I will next."Im pretty pissed do you think he us just sulking? Im about 5 minutes away from telling him to bugga off 4 good
MAKE THAT4
I had sent 2 texts to him and heard nothing his last text read" I will not be able to come down this weekend unsure when I will next."Im pretty pissed do you think he us just sulking? Im about 5 minutes away from telling him to bugga off 4 good
MAKE THAT4
ditch him!!
been there, done that....met 'those' type's before...and another thing, to me it spells 'controlling'....
tonyxf: Is he renting or own his own?
He rents.I own ( well working on it )
Shell225: Martia said it best.... he should never have asked!!!!
and certainly not if this was some sort of 'love test'.
I always wonder what goes through someones mind at these times, if you say yes, that means you love him, if you say no, that means you dont love him enough?
I have issue with that sort of behaviour... you cant pass a test if you dont know you are being tested. Is it fair to set up hurdles for someone to jump, if they dont even know they are facing a hurdle.
Will be interesting to hear what his idea was. Because and on again, off again 18 month relationship, isnt something I'd involve my child in, and I know that you are like me and guard your kids.
Good luck.
and certainly not if this was some sort of 'love test'.
I always wonder what goes through someones mind at these times, if you say yes, that means you love him, if you say no, that means you dont love him enough?
I have issue with that sort of behaviour... you cant pass a test if you dont know you are being tested. Is it fair to set up hurdles for someone to jump, if they dont even know they are facing a hurdle.
Will be interesting to hear what his idea was. Because and on again, off again 18 month relationship, isnt something I'd involve my child in, and I know that you are like me and guard your kids.
Good luck.
Im not waiting to hear his idea , I mean it was so unexpected we have only ever discussed him moving closer not moving in!!! Especially since we have parted company a few times due to distance.
Still zero communication so i suppose he has decided He is not"good enough" Too bad I dont say "how high" anymore when men say "jump!"
kizzy27: He rents.I own ( well working on it )
I asked but I figured.jem1964: I agree with both Martia and Shell, this is your life, your family, your home environment and only you can decide what and whom you want in it.
I would have thought that a step like this should have been discussed face to face, so there could be no misunderstandings on either side.
If he is serious surely he would consider moving closer independently to see if it would work for both?I can understand him being offended if you had brought the conversation around and then said no, but if he sprung it on you, well he should have realised there was 2 possible answers and you gave one of them.
look after yourself and your family Kizzy
I would have thought that a step like this should have been discussed face to face, so there could be no misunderstandings on either side.
If he is serious surely he would consider moving closer independently to see if it would work for both?I can understand him being offended if you had brought the conversation around and then said no, but if he sprung it on you, well he should have realised there was 2 possible answers and you gave one of them.
look after yourself and your family Kizzy
I asked this of him 12 months ago , he declined saying he was happy where he was , work etc
Shell225: Martia said it best.... he should never have asked!!!!
and certainly not if this was some sort of 'love test'.
I always wonder what goes through someones mind at these times, if you say yes, that means you love him, if you say no, that means you dont love him enough?
I have issue with that sort of behaviour... you cant pass a test if you dont know you are being tested. Is it fair to set up hurdles for someone to jump, if they dont even know they are facing a hurdle.
Will be interesting to hear what his idea was. Because and on again, off again 18 month relationship, isnt something I'd involve my child in, and I know that you are like me and guard your kids.
Good luck.
and certainly not if this was some sort of 'love test'.
I always wonder what goes through someones mind at these times, if you say yes, that means you love him, if you say no, that means you dont love him enough?
I have issue with that sort of behaviour... you cant pass a test if you dont know you are being tested. Is it fair to set up hurdles for someone to jump, if they dont even know they are facing a hurdle.
Will be interesting to hear what his idea was. Because and on again, off again 18 month relationship, isnt something I'd involve my child in, and I know that you are like me and guard your kids.
Good luck.
So do you think it was some sort of Test?
man I dont get how guys think sometimes
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