Being Taken for Granted or the Victim of Game Playing? (12)
Top marks in the use of copy/paste 
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well why not? the facts remain.
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robel: I am not one to write these types of things but I am interested to know the opinions of others.
I met his girl, aged 34 in February when i was in London. We stayed in touch and when I went back to London in April we stayed together and everything was really nice.
She then came to visit me here in Spain in June and I saw her again in London just two weeks ago. She is due here in Spain again in two weeks and we are supposed to be having a week away together in August.
Whats wrong I hear you say?? Well.
Firstly every time I go to London I will buy her some perfume, we will stay in a hotel and I will pay. When she first came to Spain in June, I paid for her and I have paid for her next trip at the end of this month. I have also sent her flowers.
If I like someone I like to demonstrate my affection. She does work but this is me and what I like to do. Remember I do not live in the UK so we only so far see each other once every 3-4 weeks.
Since we met we have communicated pretty much every day via Skype messenger, we hardly speak on the phone as she says she is not a big talker.
Due to her work, she doesnt get home till the very early hours of the morning and I would always wake up to a message from her. Also if I messaged her she would always respond.
However, very recently, only the last few days in fact, this is not happening. Something has changed in my opinion.
I decided not to be available on Skype the other day and she sent me a text with a photo of the two of us kissing from when we were last together...
Out of the blue yesterday she did phone me and there was nothing bad about the call. I didnt grill her about what I felt was a change in certain things as considering she is supposed to be here in two weeks, she should tell me if she is no longer interested or if she has met someone else, etc. After all she is 34, she is not a child.
But our main way of communication and the girl that would always respond and send me a sweet message for when I woke, isnt doing it.
I am not a fool, I have had more girlfriends than I care to remember but something has changed.
So today, when and if she decides to message me, against my own personality, I will not respond. I think its pathetic and I am then becoming the a**hole but I think she needs to see what its like. Having said that you then start, potentially, on a route of destruction....
Its pathetic.
What do you guys/gals think?
I met his girl, aged 34 in February when i was in London. We stayed in touch and when I went back to London in April we stayed together and everything was really nice.
She then came to visit me here in Spain in June and I saw her again in London just two weeks ago. She is due here in Spain again in two weeks and we are supposed to be having a week away together in August.
Whats wrong I hear you say?? Well.
Firstly every time I go to London I will buy her some perfume, we will stay in a hotel and I will pay. When she first came to Spain in June, I paid for her and I have paid for her next trip at the end of this month. I have also sent her flowers.
If I like someone I like to demonstrate my affection. She does work but this is me and what I like to do. Remember I do not live in the UK so we only so far see each other once every 3-4 weeks.
Since we met we have communicated pretty much every day via Skype messenger, we hardly speak on the phone as she says she is not a big talker.
Due to her work, she doesnt get home till the very early hours of the morning and I would always wake up to a message from her. Also if I messaged her she would always respond.
However, very recently, only the last few days in fact, this is not happening. Something has changed in my opinion.
I decided not to be available on Skype the other day and she sent me a text with a photo of the two of us kissing from when we were last together...
Out of the blue yesterday she did phone me and there was nothing bad about the call. I didnt grill her about what I felt was a change in certain things as considering she is supposed to be here in two weeks, she should tell me if she is no longer interested or if she has met someone else, etc. After all she is 34, she is not a child.
But our main way of communication and the girl that would always respond and send me a sweet message for when I woke, isnt doing it.
I am not a fool, I have had more girlfriends than I care to remember but something has changed.
So today, when and if she decides to message me, against my own personality, I will not respond. I think its pathetic and I am then becoming the a**hole but I think she needs to see what its like. Having said that you then start, potentially, on a route of destruction....
Its pathetic.
What do you guys/gals think?
Maybe she is getting comfortable in the relationship and does not think it is necessary to email you ten times a day just to keep you interested. It sounds like you are making mountains out of mole hills and looking for an excuse to get rid of her. Or maybe something happened that you are not telling people here. Or maybe you're mad that she lets you pay for everything but you are not willing to ask her to pay or do something less expensive. But how many mushy emails can a girl send you before both of you get sick of it? And why would you ask a million strangers instead of just asking her? And why do you think she's being untrue when you have admittedly had a horde of girlfriends? Something here sounds amiss. Have you been cheating on her? Found someone better closer to home? Feeling guilty for pushing this nice innocent girl away, after playing with her?
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Life is a series of give and take and based on what is most important to you at the time.....
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Witchaywoman: Maybe she is getting comfortable in the relationship and does not think it is necessary to email you ten times a day just to keep you interested. It sounds like you are making mountains out of mole hills and looking for an excuse to get rid of her. Or maybe something happened that you are not telling people here. Or maybe you're mad that she lets you pay for everything but you are not willing to ask her to pay or do something less expensive. But how many mushy emails can a girl send you before both of you get sick of it? And why would you ask a million strangers instead of just asking her? And why do you think she's being untrue when you have admittedly had a horde of girlfriends? Something here sounds amiss. Have you been cheating on her? Found someone better closer to home? Feeling guilty for pushing this nice innocent girl away, after playing with her?
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I tell you what as i live in the uk and not that far from london im could go out on a limb for you
dont be! Mail me and tell me who she is. Then i could arrange to meet her. Afterwards i could get back to you and tell you if shes found somebody else There you go,problem solved
dont be! Mail me and tell me who she is. Then i could arrange to meet her. Afterwards i could get back to you and tell you if shes found somebody else There you go,problem solved ------ This thread is Archived ------
robel: I am not one to write these types of things but I am interested to know the opinions of others.
I met his girl, aged 34 in February when i was in London. We stayed in touch and when I went back to London in April we stayed together and everything was really nice.
She then came to visit me here in Spain in June and I saw her again in London just two weeks ago. She is due here in Spain again in two weeks and we are supposed to be having a week away together in August.
Whats wrong I hear you say?? Well.
Firstly every time I go to London I will buy her some perfume, we will stay in a hotel and I will pay. When she first came to Spain in June, I paid for her and I have paid for her next trip at the end of this month. I have also sent her flowers.
If I like someone I like to demonstrate my affection. She does work but this is me and what I like to do. Remember I do not live in the UK so we only so far see each other once every 3-4 weeks.
Since we met we have communicated pretty much every day via Skype messenger, we hardly speak on the phone as she says she is not a big talker.
Due to her work, she doesnt get home till the very early hours of the morning and I would always wake up to a message from her. Also if I messaged her she would always respond.
However, very recently, only the last few days in fact, this is not happening. Something has changed in my opinion.
I decided not to be available on Skype the other day and she sent me a text with a photo of the two of us kissing from when we were last together...
Out of the blue yesterday she did phone me and there was nothing bad about the call. I didnt grill her about what I felt was a change in certain things as considering she is supposed to be here in two weeks, she should tell me if she is no longer interested or if she has met someone else, etc. After all she is 34, she is not a child.
But our main way of communication and the girl that would always respond and send me a sweet message for when I woke, isnt doing it.
I am not a fool, I have had more girlfriends than I care to remember but something has changed.
So today, when and if she decides to message me, against my own personality, I will not respond. I think its pathetic and I am then becoming the a**hole but I think she needs to see what its like. Having said that you then start, potentially, on a route of destruction....
Its pathetic.
What do you guys/gals think?
I met his girl, aged 34 in February when i was in London. We stayed in touch and when I went back to London in April we stayed together and everything was really nice.
She then came to visit me here in Spain in June and I saw her again in London just two weeks ago. She is due here in Spain again in two weeks and we are supposed to be having a week away together in August.
Whats wrong I hear you say?? Well.
Firstly every time I go to London I will buy her some perfume, we will stay in a hotel and I will pay. When she first came to Spain in June, I paid for her and I have paid for her next trip at the end of this month. I have also sent her flowers.
If I like someone I like to demonstrate my affection. She does work but this is me and what I like to do. Remember I do not live in the UK so we only so far see each other once every 3-4 weeks.
Since we met we have communicated pretty much every day via Skype messenger, we hardly speak on the phone as she says she is not a big talker.
Due to her work, she doesnt get home till the very early hours of the morning and I would always wake up to a message from her. Also if I messaged her she would always respond.
However, very recently, only the last few days in fact, this is not happening. Something has changed in my opinion.
I decided not to be available on Skype the other day and she sent me a text with a photo of the two of us kissing from when we were last together...
Out of the blue yesterday she did phone me and there was nothing bad about the call. I didnt grill her about what I felt was a change in certain things as considering she is supposed to be here in two weeks, she should tell me if she is no longer interested or if she has met someone else, etc. After all she is 34, she is not a child.
But our main way of communication and the girl that would always respond and send me a sweet message for when I woke, isnt doing it.
I am not a fool, I have had more girlfriends than I care to remember but something has changed.
So today, when and if she decides to message me, against my own personality, I will not respond. I think its pathetic and I am then becoming the a**hole but I think she needs to see what its like. Having said that you then start, potentially, on a route of destruction....
Its pathetic.
What do you guys/gals think?
I think you're ideas (not you) are pathetic and not very adult
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Louj1: I tell you what as i live in the uk and not that far from london im could go out on a limb for you dont be! Mail me and tell me who she is. Then i could arrange to meet her. Afterwards i could get back to you and tell you if shes found somebody else There you go,problem solved
yes in an adult relationship I would think he'd just ask her. maybe her schedule had changed...or maybe she did not realize the importance that the OP had attached to that particular ritual
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robel: I am not one to write these types of things but I am interested to know the opinions of others.
I met his girl, aged 34 in February when i was in London. We stayed in touch and when I went back to London in April we stayed together and everything was really nice.
She then came to visit me here in Spain in June and I saw her again in London just two weeks ago. She is due here in Spain again in two weeks and we are supposed to be having a week away together in August.
Whats wrong I hear you say?? Well.
Firstly every time I go to London I will buy her some perfume, we will stay in a hotel and I will pay. When she first came to Spain in June, I paid for her and I have paid for her next trip at the end of this month. I have also sent her flowers.
If I like someone I like to demonstrate my affection. She does work but this is me and what I like to do. Remember I do not live in the UK so we only so far see each other once every 3-4 weeks.
Since we met we have communicated pretty much every day via Skype messenger, we hardly speak on the phone as she says she is not a big talker.
Due to her work, she doesnt get home till the very early hours of the morning and I would always wake up to a message from her. Also if I messaged her she would always respond.
However, very recently, only the last few days in fact, this is not happening. Something has changed in my opinion.
I decided not to be available on Skype the other day and she sent me a text with a photo of the two of us kissing from when we were last together...
Out of the blue yesterday she did phone me and there was nothing bad about the call. I didnt grill her about what I felt was a change in certain things as considering she is supposed to be here in two weeks, she should tell me if she is no longer interested or if she has met someone else, etc. After all she is 34, she is not a child.
But our main way of communication and the girl that would always respond and send me a sweet message for when I woke, isnt doing it.
I am not a fool, I have had more girlfriends than I care to remember but something has changed.
So today, when and if she decides to message me, against my own personality, I will not respond. I think its pathetic and I am then becoming the a**hole but I think she needs to see what its like. Having said that you then start, potentially, on a route of destruction....
Its pathetic.
What do you guys/gals think?
I met his girl, aged 34 in February when i was in London. We stayed in touch and when I went back to London in April we stayed together and everything was really nice.
She then came to visit me here in Spain in June and I saw her again in London just two weeks ago. She is due here in Spain again in two weeks and we are supposed to be having a week away together in August.
Whats wrong I hear you say?? Well.
Firstly every time I go to London I will buy her some perfume, we will stay in a hotel and I will pay. When she first came to Spain in June, I paid for her and I have paid for her next trip at the end of this month. I have also sent her flowers.
If I like someone I like to demonstrate my affection. She does work but this is me and what I like to do. Remember I do not live in the UK so we only so far see each other once every 3-4 weeks.
Since we met we have communicated pretty much every day via Skype messenger, we hardly speak on the phone as she says she is not a big talker.
Due to her work, she doesnt get home till the very early hours of the morning and I would always wake up to a message from her. Also if I messaged her she would always respond.
However, very recently, only the last few days in fact, this is not happening. Something has changed in my opinion.
I decided not to be available on Skype the other day and she sent me a text with a photo of the two of us kissing from when we were last together...
Out of the blue yesterday she did phone me and there was nothing bad about the call. I didnt grill her about what I felt was a change in certain things as considering she is supposed to be here in two weeks, she should tell me if she is no longer interested or if she has met someone else, etc. After all she is 34, she is not a child.
But our main way of communication and the girl that would always respond and send me a sweet message for when I woke, isnt doing it.
I am not a fool, I have had more girlfriends than I care to remember but something has changed.
So today, when and if she decides to message me, against my own personality, I will not respond. I think its pathetic and I am then becoming the a**hole but I think she needs to see what its like. Having said that you then start, potentially, on a route of destruction....
Its pathetic.
What do you guys/gals think?
I noticed that the header in your thread has the word "victim"...
From a guy that has had "more girlfriends than you care to remember",this sounds a little strange.Why did you choose that particular adjective to describe your situation?
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You share your thought that "she should tell me if she is no longer interested or if she has met someone else, etc. After all she is 34, she is not a child."
The river flows both ways. You are not a child either. You can choose, as an adult, to simply share with her that you notice a change, and ask what if anything that change means. Why would you decide to go against your own personality and become the "a**hole" if it's truly against your personality?
If you consider yourself the "victim" of game playing, then not responding if she decides to message you places you, in kind, as a "victimizer." If she is game playing, then just how different are the two of you anyway? The overall situation from my standpoint is not "pathetic" in and of itself; your active choice to not respond compromises who you say you are.
I also question that you are being taken advantage of. If you like someone and you demonstrate your affection by paying for things or giving gifts because "this is me and what I like to do" well then, do it freely! If you feel taken advantage of when you don't receive whatever you expect in return, then you have the
option to stop what you're doing; it may not really be "you" to give as you do. Or, perhaps it's important to ask yourself "why did I choose to get into a relationship whereby the kind of reciprocity I'm looking for isn't present?"
I don't think any of this is about the woman of your affection per se; ultimately, it's about you, and the decisions you're going to make about your behaviour as a way, perhaps, of defining who you really are.
I sincerely wish you the best.
The river flows both ways. You are not a child either. You can choose, as an adult, to simply share with her that you notice a change, and ask what if anything that change means. Why would you decide to go against your own personality and become the "a**hole" if it's truly against your personality?
If you consider yourself the "victim" of game playing, then not responding if she decides to message you places you, in kind, as a "victimizer." If she is game playing, then just how different are the two of you anyway? The overall situation from my standpoint is not "pathetic" in and of itself; your active choice to not respond compromises who you say you are.
I also question that you are being taken advantage of. If you like someone and you demonstrate your affection by paying for things or giving gifts because "this is me and what I like to do" well then, do it freely! If you feel taken advantage of when you don't receive whatever you expect in return, then you have the
option to stop what you're doing; it may not really be "you" to give as you do. Or, perhaps it's important to ask yourself "why did I choose to get into a relationship whereby the kind of reciprocity I'm looking for isn't present?"
I don't think any of this is about the woman of your affection per se; ultimately, it's about you, and the decisions you're going to make about your behaviour as a way, perhaps, of defining who you really are.
I sincerely wish you the best.
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Created: Jul 2011
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I met his girl, aged 34 in February when i was in London. We stayed in touch and when I went back to London in April we stayed together and everything was really nice.
She then came to visit me here in Spain in June and I saw her again in London just two weeks ago. She is due here in Spain again in two weeks and we are supposed to be having a week away together in August.
Whats wrong I hear you say?? Well.
Firstly every time I go to London I will buy her some perfume, we will stay in a hotel and I will pay. When she first came to Spain in June, I paid for her and I have paid for her next trip at the end of this month. I have also sent her flowers.
If I like someone I like to demonstrate my affection. She does work but this is me and what I like to do. Remember I do not live in the UK so we only so far see each other once every 3-4 weeks.
Since we met we have communicated pretty much every day via Skype messenger, we hardly speak on the phone as she says she is not a big talker.
Due to her work, she doesnt get home till the very early hours of the morning and I would always wake up to a message from her. Also if I messaged her she would always respond.
However, very recently, only the last few days in fact, this is not happening. Something has changed in my opinion.
I decided not to be available on Skype the other day and she sent me a text with a photo of the two of us kissing from when we were last together...
Out of the blue yesterday she did phone me and there was nothing bad about the call. I didnt grill her about what I felt was a change in certain things as considering she is supposed to be here in two weeks, she should tell me if she is no longer interested or if she has met someone else, etc. After all she is 34, she is not a child.
But our main way of communication and the girl that would always respond and send me a sweet message for when I woke, isnt doing it.
I am not a fool, I have had more girlfriends than I care to remember but something has changed.
So today, when and if she decides to message me, against my own personality, I will not respond. I think its pathetic and I am then becoming the a**hole but I think she needs to see what its like. Having said that you then start, potentially, on a route of destruction....
Its pathetic.
What do you guys/gals think?