Are two coffee dates enough time to know it's not working for one of you ? (64)
lovelylass3Auckland, New Zealand6 Threads 202 PostsJust wondering how many dates to make you realize it's not going any where ??
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For me; its after the first date.
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single4ever: For me; its after the first date.
Thanks single , I usually give them another chance to make allowances for nerves etc.But figure after second date if,I am not hanging out for a phonecall or txt,it's time to move on
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lovelylass3: Just wondering how many dates to make you realize it's not going any where ??
You should know after the first few minutes whether or not it is worth pursuing.
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Carl96190: You should know after the first few minutes whether or not it is worth pursuing.
Thanks Carl, I guess I am doing the right thing by not encouraging him..Think it must be the co-dependant part of me,that feels bad
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I have to agree with Carl, some thing you just know at the onset.
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walledlakewizard: I have to agree with Carl, some thing you just know at the onset.
Usually I would agree with you , but I did have a fabulous relationship once , which started like a book I didn't know if I even wanted to pick up and it developed into one of the best love stories of my life..It took three dates before I saw the gem that he was hiding within..
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5 dates , coz i need to know what kind of man that i've been dating so far
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I must say that I agree with all! Sometimes you can know in virtually minutes. I think you can tell if the person is showing up out of obligation or true interest just by the "vibes". Yet, it may take a longer date to get a good 'take' on whether or not there's compatibility on enough points that YOU want to keep going.
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manroe23: 5 dates , coz i need to know what kind of man that i've been dating so far
Maybe it does take that long just for some people to relax and start being themselves?? So confusing..Have seen a guy a couple of times and seems to be a good one, and I am wondering if I may have been a bit gun shy just cause he was so keen.I Know I know we all want some one to care about us , but I found it a bit off putting when I was going away for only two days and he told me how much he would miss me ...help !!!1
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Carl96190: You should know after the first few minutes whether or not it is worth pursuing.
Actually, I am kinda stunned you would reply like that Carl. You always seem to have well researched answers. Myself, I believe that when anyone meets for the first time, yes, there can be sparks. But, I am also a firm believer that everyone is on their best behavior. Kind of like meeting ones mother for the first time. You tend to choose your words carefully, don't know if you should swear or not, etc. I think by the end of the date you would have a good idea if you communicated well, if you "clicked". I also think that over a little time you begin to open up and maybe that person that you find inside will set a blaze in your life. I have talked to several women here, some are very nice, some just a little left of center, and one that fasinates me. But, that took time to find out. Had I not continued to communicate, I would never had known. JMO
Kevin
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WorkinForALivin: Actually, I am kinda stunned you would reply like that Carl. You always seem to have well researched answers. Myself, I believe that when anyone meets for the first time, yes, there can be sparks. But, I am also a firm believer that everyone is on their best behavior. Kind of like meeting ones mother for the first time. You tend to choose your words carefully, don't know if you should swear or not, etc. I think by the end of the date you would have a good idea if you communicated well, if you "clicked". I also think that over a little time you begin to open up and maybe that person that you find inside will set a blaze in your life. I have talked to several women here, some are very nice, some just a little left of center, and one that fasinates me. But, that took time to find out. Had I not continued to communicate, I would never had known. JMO
Kevin
Kevin
Thanks for that insight Kevin... Maybe thats it !!! He was treating me like his mother or my mother and was toooo nice...makes me sound like an ungrateful cow, God would soon be complaining if I was treated badly
Maybe have a good heart to heart with him and explain why I wanted to run for the hills ???
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lovelylass3: Maybe it does take that long just for some people to relax and start being themselves?? So confusing..Have seen a guy a couple of times and seems to be a good one, and I am wondering if I may have been a bit gun shy just cause he was so keen.I Know I know we all want some one to care about us , but I found it a bit off putting when I was going away for only two days and he told me how much he would miss me ...help !!!1
For me its all because i need to know what character he is, sometimes they could be pretend to be someone else when we meet on first or second dates , he could be liar or something . just wanna avoid any kind of trouble that's all. And personally i guess iam a shy person
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manroe23: For me its all because i need to know what character he is, sometimes they could be pretend to be someone else when we meet on first or second dates , he could be liar or something . just wanna avoid any kind of trouble that's all. And personally i guess iam a shy person
Well good on you manroe, for taking care of yourself... hope you meet that special someone soon
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lovelylass3: Well good on you manroe, for taking care of yourself... hope you meet that special someone soon
soon huh
it could be a long time ,maybe next year , who knows ------ This thread is Archived ------
lovelylass3: Thanks for that insight Kevin... Maybe thats it !!! He was treating me like his mother or my mother and was toooo nice...makes me sound like an ungrateful cow, God would soon be complaining if I was treated badly Maybe have a good heart to heart with him and explain why I wanted to run for the hills ???
yes,people tend to put on their best face when meeting for the first few times, but the problem is when that best face is what they THINK you might like the best and then none of you have a clue who are they dating
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bhirdie: yes,people tend to put on their best face when meeting for the first few times, but the problem is when that best face is what they THINK you might like the best and then none of you have a clue who are they dating
Like I said all very confusing
I would much rather guys were up front and true to themselves, at least if there was no connection,you would know straight away and save each other the awkwardness that occurs when the true self eventually emerges. Oh I know that this often works in reverse as well fellas..------ This thread is Archived ------
lovelylass3: Just wondering how many dates to make you realize it's not going any where ??
To decide if I would be interested in getting to know the person, one coffee date is enough; if I'd be interested in romance or even building a friendship, more... can't really say how many since I like to take things slow and get to know a person.
If you like the person, just go with the flow; if your intuition warns you, listen.
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lovelylass3: Just wondering how many dates to make you realize it's not going any where ??
I usually know within the first 3 minutes
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sleepin_bird: To decide if I would be interested in getting to know the person, one coffee date is enough; if I'd be interested in romance or even building a friendship, more... can't really say how many since I like to take things slow and get to know a person.
If you like the person, just go with the flow; if your intuition warns you, listen.
If you like the person, just go with the flow; if your intuition warns you, listen.
Thanks sleepin_bird..thats it !!! I have been feeling bad for the guy and in the meantime am ignoring my intuition..
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