Lost Friendships (22)
let him test the waters with his new interest, eventually he will eventually be his usual self and contact you.
Perhaps she is threatened by another woman being close to him.
Ride it out for a bit, see what happens.
If the relationship ends, then he comes running back then I would keep him at a distance.
Never put one relationship over another, as he seems to be doing.
If I had a girlfriend and she had issues with me talking to my imaginary female friends I would have reservations about jealousy issues. (yes, I'm kidding)
Just my thoughts anyway.
Ride it out for a bit, see what happens.
If the relationship ends, then he comes running back then I would keep him at a distance.
Never put one relationship over another, as he seems to be doing.
If I had a girlfriend and she had issues with me talking to my imaginary female friends I would have reservations about jealousy issues. (yes, I'm kidding)
Just my thoughts anyway.
Hi Lorraine...I'm sorry for the situation..it is a difficult one indeed...
I don't think this is "your" issue...this is something your friend has to work out on his own...you have let him know your friendship is there...whether he has a new love interest or not...and it will be up to him to define that and accept it...or not...
I don't think this is "your" issue...this is something your friend has to work out on his own...you have let him know your friendship is there...whether he has a new love interest or not...and it will be up to him to define that and accept it...or not...
I agree with Gibs.
If he is truly your close friend then you will hear from him and if not then maybe its best to move on.
Just give it some time and don't seem too clingy or pushy and let him come to you.
If he is truly your close friend then you will hear from him and if not then maybe its best to move on.
Just give it some time and don't seem too clingy or pushy and let him come to you.
I'm going to quote you on that every chance I get.
"I agree with Gibs."
"I agree with Gibs."
Yes Master.. yes Master...lol
I do happen to agree with Gibs as well ~ give it some time Lorraine and see what happens. It's hard sometimes to just wait and see if, or when, someone will come around.. but to press can sometimes cause problems.
I've had the same thing happen.. and I can relate completely to how you're feeling. In my situation ~ it turned out the male friend had feelings for me that he hadn't told me about, and he felt I was never interested in him that way so he never brought it up.
So.. when he finally did meet another women and began dating her, he began distancing himself from me. We were so close.. therefore it was noticeable from the start.
I took the tough love approach.. and being Italian ~ it comes naturally. I confronted him.. told him to spill it.. and tell me why he's changed.. why he's taken away his friendship without even telling me why.
I don't suggest this...lol But in my case it worked. I had to remind him who we are to each other in this life.. we're friends, nothing more ~ and I wish to keep it that way. I reassured him.. that to have him in my life as a friend, that he would be around much longer than if we dated..lol
Seriously this guy is high maintenace, but I love him! If I had dated him.. he would have been gone after a week, but as a friend.. I want him in my life forever.
Let time dictate what you are to do next... the answer should become clear.
I hope your friendship survives... and gets even stronger from this experience. If not.. and it's time to part ways ~ I'm sure someday he will regret losing such a wonderful person in his life.
I wish you luck... and happiness always
I do happen to agree with Gibs as well ~ give it some time Lorraine and see what happens. It's hard sometimes to just wait and see if, or when, someone will come around.. but to press can sometimes cause problems.
I've had the same thing happen.. and I can relate completely to how you're feeling. In my situation ~ it turned out the male friend had feelings for me that he hadn't told me about, and he felt I was never interested in him that way so he never brought it up.
So.. when he finally did meet another women and began dating her, he began distancing himself from me. We were so close.. therefore it was noticeable from the start.
I took the tough love approach.. and being Italian ~ it comes naturally. I confronted him.. told him to spill it.. and tell me why he's changed.. why he's taken away his friendship without even telling me why.
I don't suggest this...lol But in my case it worked. I had to remind him who we are to each other in this life.. we're friends, nothing more ~ and I wish to keep it that way. I reassured him.. that to have him in my life as a friend, that he would be around much longer than if we dated..lol
Seriously this guy is high maintenace, but I love him! If I had dated him.. he would have been gone after a week, but as a friend.. I want him in my life forever.
Let time dictate what you are to do next... the answer should become clear.
I hope your friendship survives... and gets even stronger from this experience. If not.. and it's time to part ways ~ I'm sure someday he will regret losing such a wonderful person in his life.
I wish you luck... and happiness always
How and has he made it clear that he does not want to even be a friend other then by not responding? I know this is obvious...but before this had he given you any other reason?
I have known you to be very friendly and understandable. I don't think he should be scared of keeping his friendship with you as I don't think you hold anything against him. Better then that you are not the type to run after taken men...perhaps the problem lies within himself and his partner...
could be so much...
one lost 10 found!
I have known you to be very friendly and understandable. I don't think he should be scared of keeping his friendship with you as I don't think you hold anything against him. Better then that you are not the type to run after taken men...perhaps the problem lies within himself and his partner...
could be so much...
one lost 10 found!
oops...not partner!
romantic interest!
romantic interest!Hi Everyone,
Thank you for responding. I value your input.
The man has not told me that he does not want to be my friend. He just has stopped communicating with me. I wrote to him on Monday, asking for clarification on our friendship. He has not written back to me to answer my very specific questions. Today, he sent me two funny forwards - but no direct message. I sent him a brief message and asked for clarification about the friendship. Other than that - I am just going to do as some of you have advised and just give the whole issue some space.
It is difficult for me. I don't make friends easily. However, when I do - I am extremely loyal and faithful.
Regards,
Lorraine.
Thank you for responding. I value your input.
The man has not told me that he does not want to be my friend. He just has stopped communicating with me. I wrote to him on Monday, asking for clarification on our friendship. He has not written back to me to answer my very specific questions. Today, he sent me two funny forwards - but no direct message. I sent him a brief message and asked for clarification about the friendship. Other than that - I am just going to do as some of you have advised and just give the whole issue some space.
It is difficult for me. I don't make friends easily. However, when I do - I am extremely loyal and faithful.
Regards,
Lorraine.
Then there is a reason...you are assuming by not being patient...when you talk to him then you'll know..ask him then...asking him too much or drilling him again may irritate him.
so just hold on for now...
he's probably busy or not ready to answer yet...
so just hold on for now...
he's probably busy or not ready to answer yet...
I did phone him - after I had not heard from him on the computer for ten days when my computer was down. We had a good visit on the telephone. I did not ask him about our friendship. However, since the phone call, except for the two funny forwards today - there has been no communication. I have written him e-mail messages asking for clarification about our friendship. He has not responded to my messages. So - I am just going to "give it space". I don't know what else to do. I value input from anyone.
Regards,
Lorraine.
Regards,
Lorraine.
Well I was with a woman a while back and she did not like me talking to other women. I don't know the situation you're in but maybe his new found love isn't comfortable with him talking to other women? My only advice is just let it be. Getting frustrated won't make it any better.
Hi,
You are now the second man that has suggested that his new found love could be having problems with our friendship relationship. Thank you for the input.
I don't know what to do other than to just leave everything alone. I am not very good at that, with this relationship, because I really do have a strong sense of friendship with this man. However, I don't know what else to do.
Regards,
Lorraine.
You are now the second man that has suggested that his new found love could be having problems with our friendship relationship. Thank you for the input.
I don't know what to do other than to just leave everything alone. I am not very good at that, with this relationship, because I really do have a strong sense of friendship with this man. However, I don't know what else to do.
Regards,
Lorraine.
Was he just a friend...did you feel or maybe wished for more(even though you can still be friends of course)...I'm just trying to see how you came to know or be friends...was there ever an interest?
best is to wait for now..and be happy and cheer yourself up! you're so great Lorraine!
best is to wait for now..and be happy and cheer yourself up! you're so great Lorraine!
Hi Aria Rose,
Thank you for your words of encouragement.
I met my friend on CS over a year ago. There was intense mutual interest. He is from Texas. I flew to Texas and spent three weeks with him last December/January. I was romantically interested in him and he was not with me. However, we developed a close relationship. I would describe our relationship, as it grew and developed as being that of close friends. After I returned from Texas, he continued to write to me daily via e-mail messages. We talked on the phone - but not too much, as neither of us has a phone plan. However, in the last month, our communication has been on the decline. My computer was down for about ten days - so I finally phoned him - because I thought that he might be unnecessarily worried about me. It turned out that he had not even written to me. He told me that on the phone. He told me that he had been thinking about me a lot, however, had not written. He told me about his new ladyfriend. I wrote to him on Monday, seeking clarification about our friendship. He did not and has not written to me. As I documented previously, he sent me two funny forwards today - but no message - and no answer to my questions about our friendship.
So - I am at "loose ends". As I have written previously, - I don't make friends easily. However, his man was/is in my circle of close friends. I would not have told my whole story on a public forum, however I have asked for help/input and you asked for the story of our relationship.
Keep well,
Lorraine.
Thank you for your words of encouragement.
I met my friend on CS over a year ago. There was intense mutual interest. He is from Texas. I flew to Texas and spent three weeks with him last December/January. I was romantically interested in him and he was not with me. However, we developed a close relationship. I would describe our relationship, as it grew and developed as being that of close friends. After I returned from Texas, he continued to write to me daily via e-mail messages. We talked on the phone - but not too much, as neither of us has a phone plan. However, in the last month, our communication has been on the decline. My computer was down for about ten days - so I finally phoned him - because I thought that he might be unnecessarily worried about me. It turned out that he had not even written to me. He told me that on the phone. He told me that he had been thinking about me a lot, however, had not written. He told me about his new ladyfriend. I wrote to him on Monday, seeking clarification about our friendship. He did not and has not written to me. As I documented previously, he sent me two funny forwards today - but no message - and no answer to my questions about our friendship.
So - I am at "loose ends". As I have written previously, - I don't make friends easily. However, his man was/is in my circle of close friends. I would not have told my whole story on a public forum, however I have asked for help/input and you asked for the story of our relationship.
Keep well,
Lorraine.
Timing is the key in my opinion Lorraine.
It sounds to me now like he doesn't have the balls to tell you he's cutting you loose. I'm sure this isn;t what you wanted to hear, and I'm sorry to say it but I'd leave it be. He might never correspond again. Forcing his hand for an explanation as to why is just as likely to cause him to lie as it is to give you closure, which won;t work either.
I hope I'm mistaken but I can't help think you already had this occur to you.
Hope it works out regardless what the reason is or how it goes from here on.
It sounds to me now like he doesn't have the balls to tell you he's cutting you loose. I'm sure this isn;t what you wanted to hear, and I'm sorry to say it but I'd leave it be. He might never correspond again. Forcing his hand for an explanation as to why is just as likely to cause him to lie as it is to give you closure, which won;t work either.
I hope I'm mistaken but I can't help think you already had this occur to you.
Hope it works out regardless what the reason is or how it goes from here on.
Hi Gibs,
My heart is breaking. However, - I think that you are right.
Thanks for being a friend,
Lorraine.
My heart is breaking. However, - I think that you are right.
Thanks for being a friend,
Lorraine.
I am "bumping" this thread up to get Angel's opinion - since she was the one who asked for "the story". If anyone else wants to throw in an opinion or a suggestion, I welcome it.
Lorraine.
Lorraine.
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Created: Nov 2006
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I fear that I have lost a friendship with a man who was very near and dear to me. I have done everything that I can think of to try to get clarification from him. He is not responding to me. He has met a woman with whom he has romantic interest. However, he and I were good friends. Suggestions anyone?
Regards,
Lorraine.