Mickey's Anti Christmas thread (115)

In that case, better get him a keg or 2....

If I see another mince pie, I may be sick

I just love mince pies ---pass them over

Hi Redex

Let's nick them all and have a pie fest. nom nom nom:

veryhappy:

Here you are Mickey. This will cheer you up no end.


Bah Humbug .A politically Correct Christmas message.

To whom it may concern,

Please be advised that all employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs.

This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.

Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered.

To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night.

While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that EC legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer.

Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered.

This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages.

It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Merry Christmas

Risk Management Team xx

Thanks for your sarcasm.

I was actually thinking of other people who are on a tight budget.Not everyone has money to throw around.

Glitch I am tight I would rather spend extra money on
or phone call with cheery voice or even mince pies for homelss

Happy Crimble

Morning You

There's tightness and then there's the meanies. Big difference.


It's a shame that the long lost relative may miss out on a card this year because people have to cut back. Sometimes it might be the only contact they have.