Fear!! (42)
holiday_mood: Yes you are right to some extent..I am just trying to test people more and more before I trust them.I am not dis respecting but I often do feel that some people get offended sometimes as I have narrowed the possibilities for every one to reach up to me.
Where does this concern about offending people by not letting them in close to you come from?
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justjim63: Time....that's what it takes, Trust is something that takes time to develop and something that can be destroyed in a heartbeat but you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable, otherwise you'll just condemn yourself to a lonely future, some people will always be untrustworthy but the majority of people are basically good, or at least I like to think so, Take your time don't rush things, eventually you will meet people worthy of your trust. good luck.
Your words gave me so much hope..thank you..I wish to see myself surrounded by awesome people in the coming years..:)------ This thread is Archived ------
jac_the_gripper: Where does this concern about offending people by not letting them in close to you come from?
Yes..that's a good question :).I don't let others take me for granted..they find me interesting(frankly speaking)..but I just don't show them the affection that they thought they would get from me.I don't want to be affectionate and warm to everyone,coz that is how I hurt myself at later stages.So it is kind of ignoring them mildly(which I feel is offensive).I want people to think like me and give some time for the relationship to go to the next level.But some people who are not as complicated as me,consider that I am arrogant. 
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holiday_mood: Yes..that's a good question :).I don't let others take me for granted..they find me interesting(frankly speaking)..but I just don't show them the affection that they thought they would get from me.I don't want to be affectionate and warm to everyone,coz that is how I hurt myself at later stages.So it is kind of ignoring them mildly(which I feel is offensive).I want people to think like me and give some time for the relationship to go to the next level.But some people who are not as complicated as me,consider that I am arrogant.
Okay, so you'd like to take relationships slowly, but you feel that other people are hurt by that and feel that you don't care for them?
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jac_the_gripper: Okay, so you'd like to take relationships slowly, but you feel that other people are hurt by that and feel that you don't care for them?
Sure
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holiday_mood: Sure
How might you reassure someone that you do care?
Imagine reassuring them. What feelings are you getting as you reassure that person that you care for them?
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jac_the_gripper: How might you reassure someone that you do care?
Imagine reassuring them. What feelings are you getting as you reassure that person that you care for them?
So finally you have got to my point..that is where I am struck..Imagine reassuring them. What feelings are you getting as you reassure that person that you care for them?
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holiday_mood: Your words gave me so much hope..thank you..I wish to see myself surrounded by awesome people in the coming years..:)
With your attitude you'll be surrounded by awesome people, have no fear.
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holiday_mood: So finally you have got to my point..that is where I am struck..
You don't know how to reassure people that you do care without giving them affection.
What does giving people affection mean to you?
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jac_the_gripper: You don't know how to reassure people that you do care without giving them affection.
What does giving people affection mean to you?
I cant show affection really,but I will be there for them when they need me..I will protect them :)What does giving people affection mean to you?
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holiday_mood: I cant show affection really,but I will be there for them when they need me..I will protect them :)
What do you mean by affection?
Do you mean physical affection, like kisses and cuddles, or emotional affection, like being warm towards others.
Only you've come across as being warm with your words on this forum and that to me is a kind of affection.
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holiday_mood: Why is it that I fear to trust new people?I have been betrayed by some people badly in the past,but now I can't get over it.I only trust myself,am I strange?
You point the difficulty out in your question.
Some people have treated you poorly, but you now mistrust all people.
You don't believe you can tell the difference between the trustworthy people, and the untrustworthy people. Work on that ability, and maybe look at the risks and rewards of trusting people. There's a healthy middle ground between giving out your banking information to strangers, and isolating yourself from the entire world.
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holiday_mood: Why is it that I fear to trust new people?I have been betrayed by some people badly in the past,but now I can't get over it.I only trust myself,am I strange?
Don't worry about it. I don't think trust is even necessary in the modern world. Trust will become so redundant over the coming years that even friendly conversation between Mother and Daughter will be conducted conducted at gun point.
And what with advancements in social media and surveillance technology you'll be able to literally spy on your loved ones constantly. So yes, don't worry about it.
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Obstinance_Works: Don't worry about it. I don't think trust is even necessary in the modern world. Trust will become so redundant over the coming years that even friendly conversation between Mother and Daughter will be conducted conducted at gun point.
And what with advancements in social media and surveillance technology you'll be able to literally spy on your loved ones constantly. So yes, don't worry about it.
And what with advancements in social media and surveillance technology you'll be able to literally spy on your loved ones constantly. So yes, don't worry about it.
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Obstinance_Works: Don't worry about it. I don't think trust is even necessary in the modern world. Trust will become so redundant over the coming years that even friendly conversation between Mother and Daughter will be conducted conducted at gun point.
And what with advancements in social media and surveillance technology you'll be able to literally spy on your loved ones constantly. So yes, don't worry about it.
And what with advancements in social media and surveillance technology you'll be able to literally spy on your loved ones constantly. So yes, don't worry about it.
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jac_the_gripper: What do you mean by affection?
Do you mean physical affection, like kisses and cuddles, or emotional affection, like being warm towards others.
Only you've come across as being warm with your words on this forum and that to me is a kind of affection.
Emotional ..:)Do you mean physical affection, like kisses and cuddles, or emotional affection, like being warm towards others.
Only you've come across as being warm with your words on this forum and that to me is a kind of affection.
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Ocee102: You point the difficulty out in your question.
Some people have treated you poorly, but you now mistrust all people.
You don't believe you can tell the difference between the trustworthy people, and the untrustworthy people. Work on that ability, and maybe look at the risks and rewards of trusting people. There's a healthy middle ground between giving out your banking information to strangers, and isolating yourself from the entire world.
Yes,many bad experiences in the past,I was surrounded by tons of ppl whom I trusted will be there for ever,but when my bad phase started,they all disappeared and behaved as if they don't really know me.So I have observed that people are more interested in you when you are rocking,and when you are down and low,they don't want to waste their time to motivate you..but few were consistently good in my ups and downs..and now they are my best friends..:)Some people have treated you poorly, but you now mistrust all people.
You don't believe you can tell the difference between the trustworthy people, and the untrustworthy people. Work on that ability, and maybe look at the risks and rewards of trusting people. There's a healthy middle ground between giving out your banking information to strangers, and isolating yourself from the entire world.
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Obstinance_Works: Don't worry about it. I don't think trust is even necessary in the modern world. Trust will become so redundant over the coming years that even friendly conversation between Mother and Daughter will be conducted conducted at gun point.
And what with advancements in social media and surveillance technology you'll be able to literally spy on your loved ones constantly. So yes, don't worry about it.
And what with advancements in social media and surveillance technology you'll be able to literally spy on your loved ones constantly. So yes, don't worry about it.
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Time....that's what it takes, Trust is something that takes time to develop and something that can be destroyed in a heartbeat but you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable, otherwise you'll just condemn yourself to a lonely future, some people will always be untrustworthy but the majority of people are basically good, or at least I like to think so, Take your time don't rush things, eventually you will meet people worthy of your trust. good luck.