just a thought (54)

Oh, forgot to mention.... I am starting my own church, I got this young goodlooking Elvis look-alike guy with the gift of the gab, a realy powerful speaking voice, who will do a special once a week performance for me, for only 30% of what we collect in donations, plus expenses if he travels.
The audience will participate in maintaining the venue, using a roster for things like cleaning the toilets,the carpets (each lady will provide her own cleaning materials). The arty folk will do the flower arrangements... bringing flowers from their gardens. The older folk can take turns running Bingo Nights of Gambling, Study Evenings, Lectures, or re-runs of Religious movies. The stay-at-home housewives will run Coffee Mornings for other bored house-wives. Each of these events will of course require Donations (nothing for nothing).
Bored Teenagers will run Evenings of Games for other Bored Teenagers.
Any musical folk are encouraged to form a band, and anyone who fancies they are able to sing are encouraged to form a Choir, and together they will provide Soul Stirring and Mood Music. Its a proven fact that music provokes Feelings, and this particularly important for the time when the Big Orange Plastic Buckets are passed around to be filled up with Paper Money... no Coins as they are too heavy.

I estimate quite a good income from this venture... as its all Tax Free, as is the building I going to build on the land donated to my cause, with all the donated building material. Also the Jet that will be required later when we get known, not to mention the new auto, and whatever else is neccessary.

The entire business will be run for me by willing folk giving their time freely. Only I will be in charge of the Money.

Oh it will be the coolest place to be! All the wanne-be-seens will be there, all wearing the latest fashions! No unwashed cars allowed outside MY church. And that is an excellent idea Wedy, the Deacons will all wear Pointy Hats in Bright Colours. I just got to think up a good name for my church.
Another good idea I just had is that we will hold our services on Monday afternoons. For the reason that everyone like to sleep late on Sundays, then get up to read the papers, eat a huge brunch, watch sport in the afternoons, and socialise around a B'b'que in the early evenin, have a few beers or wines... and on Mondays no-one wants to get up for work! So by having their Religious Services on Mondays they have a constitutional right to the day off? So they can still sleep late, and get up for church in the afternoon. Then they all ready, sins forgiven, clean slate, for work on Tuesday!