my EX best friend (12)
shelbelTrinity, USA2 Threads 77 PostsI have recently been suspecting that my best friend of ten years who is a guy has been keeping something from me. I just finally confirmed my suspicions... he is gay and has been seeing someone for almost a year! I am known for not being a very good secret keeper so I kinda understand the secrecy... however he has been lying to me for a year. Everytime I ask him to hang out or whatever he lies and says he has plans with his brothers or his family. He now knows I know and is angry with his other best friend/ roomate because he thinks she told me. He has completely shut us both out and will not even discuss this with us. I am totally distraught and just plain hurt that he is willing to throw away our ten years for this guy who he has been hiding for only a year. And if he cares for this guy so much why is he keeping it a secret? Its not like anyone cares about whether he is gay or not. I have had several friends in the past that he has met that were gay and so has his roomate. 
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Purhaps he is having a hard enough time dealing with this himself,never mind having to come out and explain to his so called "best freinds"........Time and patients are key I think.
He is probably ASSuming that becasue you know you will be walking,porve him wrong......
This would be when a freind is NEEDED most...
He is probably ASSuming that becasue you know you will be walking,porve him wrong......
This would be when a freind is NEEDED most...
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Take this from someone who has been in your spot more than once, Stay and be his friend. Its very hard for someone to come out, and you being as upset as you are, might even be the reason why!
It is possible that he may have wanted to tell you, but couldnt...Just love him the same, thats what is important in the long run!
Good luck!
It is possible that he may have wanted to tell you, but couldnt...Just love him the same, thats what is important in the long run!
Good luck!
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Well..Maybe you should learn how to keep what people say to you in confidence and not tell everyone and people would trust you enough to tell you things? Just a thought...
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How in the world can you be bestfriends with someone and not know something that should be obvious. I think I would take a look at just what kind of friend I am being.
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You said "my ex best friend"? Why is it he is your ex best friend? Keep it low and be patient with him. Contact him and let him know you can be a friend, and that if he is afraid that you will tell, assure him you will not. If in fact you are capable of keeping it to yourself. He must have a problem trusting your ability to keep a secret. It is hard for some gay people to trust those around them. He obviously is having issues with this himself. Try not to make it an issue about you and be more supportive of him.
Kat
Kat
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I not upset that he is gay heck we just been waiting for him to realize it anyway... we always knew... i just upset that he mad that I know...
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I never said I tell everyone I just told the one girl and it was something concerning her...
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I think you just told the whole world! You are on the internet you know.
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well yea it was obvious duh. and I tried to tell him many times that there is nothing he could do that would make me not love him unless he intentionally tried to hurt me or my family. I have told him I would not judge him for anything he does and I have had about four different gay friends that he has met and even dated a girl myself for a brief time. I am a good friend went all say from NC to MD to move his stuff in same day he asked me to go and also work off clock all the time just to make him look good at work.
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He is probally mad because he wanted to tell you himself when he felt comfortable,not have someone else tell you.I would hang in there until he cools off a bit,then invite him over for dinner and a long talk.10 yrs of friendship is a lot to lose.good Luck.
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ps.His boyfriend maybe married or hasn't come out yet so that may be the reason he's keeping the relationship on the down low.
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Created: Jan 2007
Last Viewed: May 16
Last Commented: Jan 2007
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