Trust is the backbone of life. ( Archived) (15)

What a different view that I have.

If someone becomes untrustworthy, then it is not me but them. Whether they steal from me, lie to me, or tell lies about me, or they are guilty of a serious betrayal, it is on their head, not mine. It may be hurtful to trust someone that isn't trustworthy, but the adage applies, "Burnt once, shame on you; burnt twice, shame on me!"

I disagree with the person that said not to trust anybody that is suspicious of everybody. It is the job of police to do exactly that, but often we should, or would like to trust them (the police).

My rule is similar, but is actual hard-won wisdom: Don't trust anybody that doesn't trust you. See, you can suspect somebody, but find that your suspicions are completely unfounded. But, assuming that you are a trustworthy person, if someone automatically doesn't trust you, then they "have a trust issue." That is usually a serious implication. Sometimes it will be that the person that doesn't trust you, doesn't distrust you because what you have done, but rather they don't trust you because they know what they would do in your place, and they therefore find it impossible to trust somebody in such a position. Thus, don't trust anybody that doesn't trust you. Life is rife with examples, at least in my life.

If given a position of trust, I always do my best to do what is right. I am, by most people's definition, therefore trustworthy. It is those that break such a trust, that break their own spine, or back. They don't break ours, though we may feel hurt by it.

A good example of the above is scammers on here. We see a new person. Are they a scammer, or are they completely trustworthy? Well, it is well-know that those that trust them automatically are often the ones that get taken to the cleaners. Thus, we are all "skeptical," until we find reason to think otherwise. So, skepticism is, especially in this case, very healthy. But, if you talk to that person, and they know you've been here a long time, and therefore, by definition, haven't be caught scamming anybody, but they don't trust you, what should you think? They're new; you're "proven." I would submit that you shouldn't trust them. But, that isn't the whole story. Because we all know that scammers act as if they are the most trusting people in the whole world, and therefore you should trust them. Thus, they try "turning the tables," or, as I put it, they "muddy the waters." Then, you can't readily see the truth. Once the waters are "muddied," then you can see who is causing this, and again, logically conclude that being distrustful is a wise course of action, until the waters are again clear.

As the OP inferred, the heart isn't very good at sorting out the trust issues, therefore let your brain help out. But, as we all know, the literal truth is that the heart has absolutely no part in our feelings, or thoughts. But the brain can speed up or slow down the heart base on its level of alertness and concern. So, the heart is only acting like the speedometer in the car. The driver chooses to press their foot to the floor, the speedometer is going to rise very quickly. That is the function of the heart. When we "feel" the heart race, or the absence of racing denoting calm, we attribute it to the heart, but it is the brain doing all the work. The heart just does what it is told.

The brain isn't always logical nor reasonable. The heart therefore becomes a metaphor. We place our fears or triumphs in a place we call "heart." Not the organ that pumps blood, but the place in the brain that can cause the heart to race or to stay calm.

Trust issues occur with those that "steal candy from babies," or act in any way that betrays are realistic expectations.

The OP also said, "The heart runs on faith and the mind runs on logic." But, as I illustrated, that isn't true. Both faith and logic are all in the mind.

Shalom,
Iyyov