Trying to STAY single...at least for now! (32)

Greetings to all!
Ok--time to level. I have always been one of those people who has been in a relationship. I'm not one for flings and have never had a one night stand (though I came close--guilt prevented me) but from the moment I turned 14, I have had a man friend very close by...or one in the wings.
Here's the question:
Is it unhealthy to always be looking for a relationship? Shouldn't we try to stay single for awhile to build on our inner strength and heal from old wounds when relationships end?
In a world where it is less than ok to be single, how do we draw the line?
I admit that even now as I find myself coming into a very introspective and aware time in my life, I still want a man to hold me and kiss me, dammmmmmmit!
I know that for me, loving myself has been (and likely always will be) a challenge. Is that what we need to really make it work?
I have recently heard that love and relationships can be addictions too!!
Yet another argument for singlehood...
Still doesn't help the lonliness, eh?
Any thoughts?

My personal opinion that people need to be "alone" to "find themself" is ridiculous...truly my own opinion...

Not everyone is "wired" the same way...so what may work for some may not necessarily work for others...and I have also found from "experience" that the ones that say they are "single and finding themself" usually did not have another choice...there was no one in their life at the moment...

Why can't a sane reasonable person "find themself" within a relationship as well?? Aren't their issues you are trying to work out and find answers for that pertain to relationships??...so how will you find the answer if you are not in a relationship??
Why does it always have to be a "therapist" that helps you find yourself...why can't a loving patient partner do the same thing for you?

I think the amount of "self-help" books available out there has made people even more confused...no one seems to use their own inner ability to sort things out anymore...at the first sign of an "issue" (geez i'm beginning to hate that word!!)..they run to the nearest bookstore and pick up some book dedicated to whatever problem they have...or they watch some talk show...apply what they're seeing to themself and use that method....
How can the author of some book who has never met you have the answer for you??

Personally and this is just me...I like to have space between relationships. I know who I am and don't need to 'find myself', however I don't like to take baggage with me on the next trip. A bit of time away tends to clear all the cobwebs, so the next man doesn't suffer!!!

There is nothing better than being held and kissed by a special someone...but I also like my own company, so when I'm 'with' someone, it's a healthy exploration of whether we mesh well together! Being unafraid of being alone has just helped me make better choices in life...

But that's just me.

I have several friends that are more like you and it works for them to be in a relationship...it's all about what's right for you methinks!!

Well I think relationships are a bit like a hangover..Best thing to get rid of a hangover is another drink..But seriously you do what you think is right..thats all that matters.

I think there is a big difference in being alone and being 'on my own'. Alone to me sounds lonely. 'On my own' means single.. one.. comfortable with myself. I think the 'finding yourself' deal is one of those cliches that was popular however many years ago. I think people THINK too much. If you are happy being with someone, then that's what you do! Just because you're in a relationship does not mean you have to spend every waking moment with that person. You can still have your own time to yourself. My dad has always said that too much togetherness can kill ANY relationship... be it a friendship, serious relationship, or marriage.

I, personally, have always taken some time after a relationship has ended because it gives me a chance to just be on my own and regroup. I know many people who don't take the time, and that works for them.

I think a person can still spend time with another person, or date when 'taking time for him or herself'.

If you're questioning whether you 'should' take some time, then maybe some inner part of you wants to do that...

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to it. I think in the end we all have to do what we feel is right for ourselves.

Well I know for myself that being single after being in a long term relationship, gave me a chance to re-discover myself and find out who I was. I think that when people are in long term relationship's they will, quite often, lose themselve's a bit? Just my two cent's.

In a HEALTHY mutual relationship one never "loses" themselves...

Just my two cents....

Well that's your opinion but I know that people do change a bit when they're with someone. Everyone doe's. It's just how it is! You can't tell me that everybody stay's the same after they get together with someone! Everybody change's a little bit when they settle down! If you haven't, then your the first person I've met that didn't change when they hooked up!

I will be the first to admit that I changed when i was in a relationship....you are absolutely correct that people change...but why does it have to be a "negative" change...why would it be impossible to believe that a positive change can happen...

I didn't "lose" myself in a relationship...I learned i had qualities i didn't even know existed until i met that person...so yes i did change...but it was all for the better....