Russian humor (38)
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Something sounds so familiar .... OMG 
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Wife to husband: Why the hell you are turning all night like a sputnik ?
Husbund to wife: Why are you laying like dead imported equipment on construction yard ?
Husbund to wife: Why are you laying like dead imported equipment on construction yard ?
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Sorry guys for bad translation,Russian humor is almost impossible to translate into any language.
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What is colder than cold tap water in the summer time ? Hot water in the winter.
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A man dies and goes to hell. There he discovers that he has a choice: he can go to capitalist hell or to communist hell. Naturally, he wants to compare the two, so he goes over to capitalist hell. There outside the door is the devil, who looks a bit like Ronald Reagan. "What's it like in there?" asks the visitor. "Well," the devil replies, "in capitalist hell, they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"That's terrible!" he gasps. "I'm going to check out communist hell!" He goes over to communist hell, where he discovers a huge queue of people waiting to get in. He waits in line. Eventually he gets to the front and there at the door to communist hell is a little old man who looks a bit like Karl Marx. "I'm still in the free world, Karl," he says, "and before I come in, I want to know what it's like in there."
"In communist hell," says Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil, and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"But… but that's the same as capitalist hell!" protests the visitor, "Why such a long queue?"
"Well," sighs Marx, "Sometimes we're out of oil, sometimes we don't have knives, sometimes no hot water…"
"That's terrible!" he gasps. "I'm going to check out communist hell!" He goes over to communist hell, where he discovers a huge queue of people waiting to get in. He waits in line. Eventually he gets to the front and there at the door to communist hell is a little old man who looks a bit like Karl Marx. "I'm still in the free world, Karl," he says, "and before I come in, I want to know what it's like in there."
"In communist hell," says Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil, and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"But… but that's the same as capitalist hell!" protests the visitor, "Why such a long queue?"
"Well," sighs Marx, "Sometimes we're out of oil, sometimes we don't have knives, sometimes no hot water…"
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That's why i do not do it. Hm ty govorish po russki huh? 
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"Why, despite all the shortages, was the toilet paper in East Germany always two-ply? Because they had to send a copy of everything they did to Moscow."
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these jokes crack me up
fresh from the coffee houses of Brighton Beach??
fresh from the coffee houses of Brighton Beach??
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Created: Feb 2007
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Olga: Sure,why not.
Hi: But what about your boyfriend,is hi gonna be OK with it?
Olga: I don't have any boyfriend,my husband killed him