We are e-mailing, but he gives no messages about the future! (41)
I agree with Spidermoose..... sounds like you being kept on the "back-burner"... just in case. Tis a common behaviour for some men.... talk is cheap.
you r your own problem shimmy sorry try and think positive and solve the situation for yourself
you r your own problem shimmy sorry try and think positive and solve the situation for yourself
Shimmy, Your question "if a man keeps up steadily a communication is genuinely interested, or could it be just playing the role of "Mr. Charming" and nothing more???".
That's really tough and you're just going to have to decide. It's difficult enough to take a risk with someone local but to unroot and travel to another country and have to worry about finding a job, etc... will take a lot of faith and trust. Do you have enough clues for that? I really don't know and I don't know your personal situation i.e. financial, emotional etc... So I can offer no other advice other than to be careful.
I really wish you luck. You seem to be a really nice person and like most people, deserve to find happiness.
That's really tough and you're just going to have to decide. It's difficult enough to take a risk with someone local but to unroot and travel to another country and have to worry about finding a job, etc... will take a lot of faith and trust. Do you have enough clues for that? I really don't know and I don't know your personal situation i.e. financial, emotional etc... So I can offer no other advice other than to be careful.
I really wish you luck. You seem to be a really nice person and like most people, deserve to find happiness.
Shemmy,
I appreciated you asked the furum about the opinion, because you can see the situation from another perspective. There are many people here who went through some relations and they can be of hepl to you. Please do not undervalue the opinions. Another people have enough experience so they can give you some leads.
Personally I have a feeling that the relation you are in is not satysfying you. It is not exactly what you expect from life.
If something doesn' t work it won't in the future. Continuoing the relation with a person who is not certain of what he wants from life is like walking with a blind inevitable you both will fall down in a pitfall.
Girl, you deserve better that this!
If the man can not make a decision wheather to be with you or not he is not worthy of you.
My intention was to be kind with you but hard for the problem.
The choice is your anyway. Good luck!
I appreciated you asked the furum about the opinion, because you can see the situation from another perspective. There are many people here who went through some relations and they can be of hepl to you. Please do not undervalue the opinions. Another people have enough experience so they can give you some leads.
Personally I have a feeling that the relation you are in is not satysfying you. It is not exactly what you expect from life.
If something doesn' t work it won't in the future. Continuoing the relation with a person who is not certain of what he wants from life is like walking with a blind inevitable you both will fall down in a pitfall.
Girl, you deserve better that this!
If the man can not make a decision wheather to be with you or not he is not worthy of you.
My intention was to be kind with you but hard for the problem.
The choice is your anyway. Good luck!
Hi there
well I think that if you are in a difficult situation here, but since you are asking for help, it indicates me that there is a lot of uncertainty in this relationsship, on both sides. Me , I am a person who wants to know how the facts are, meaning that when it comes to matters of the heart i want to know the other persons true feelings, thoughts and plans...like everybody else I guess...I never played with anybody's heart in my life, never will be, and expect the same from the otherone for me...(yeap I live in a dreamworld, I know
)....
So my advice would be to lay off for some time, meaning stop communicating with him,of course explain that to him (that you need some time on your own etc.)-don't just disappear-. After a while, you will see how his response to that "abscence" is, if he really really wants you in his life, he will claim you, if not.....Sorry, I know this may hurt, but you will finally know what his intentions are and have time enough to clear your head and not rush into anything....But then again, its my personal opinion, it doesn' t mean that if it works for me it will for you...
Nontheless I wish you all the best and I hope that everyhting will work out as you like it...
well I think that if you are in a difficult situation here, but since you are asking for help, it indicates me that there is a lot of uncertainty in this relationsship, on both sides. Me , I am a person who wants to know how the facts are, meaning that when it comes to matters of the heart i want to know the other persons true feelings, thoughts and plans...like everybody else I guess...I never played with anybody's heart in my life, never will be, and expect the same from the otherone for me...(yeap I live in a dreamworld, I know
)....So my advice would be to lay off for some time, meaning stop communicating with him,of course explain that to him (that you need some time on your own etc.)-don't just disappear-. After a while, you will see how his response to that "abscence" is, if he really really wants you in his life, he will claim you, if not.....Sorry, I know this may hurt, but you will finally know what his intentions are and have time enough to clear your head and not rush into anything....But then again, its my personal opinion, it doesn' t mean that if it works for me it will for you...
Nontheless I wish you all the best and I hope that everyhting will work out as you like it...
Hi Plesia,
Thanks for you post to my thread. I know this trick. Every time you want to test someone's feelings just let him go and see if he is going to look for you.
But this does not apply to him. It 's mostly him that keeps calling and e mailing and there is absolutely no way I can get away from this communication.
I don't know if all this could be fake. It sounds to me like he really wants me. Probably he minds the fact that we are of different religion... or he is not sure of whether I could live and adapt in his country... who knows.
Thanks for you post to my thread. I know this trick. Every time you want to test someone's feelings just let him go and see if he is going to look for you.
But this does not apply to him. It 's mostly him that keeps calling and e mailing and there is absolutely no way I can get away from this communication.
I don't know if all this could be fake. It sounds to me like he really wants me. Probably he minds the fact that we are of different religion... or he is not sure of whether I could live and adapt in his country... who knows.
shame on u antcus u r a marriage councillor 
You can fall in love from distance-it is possible but only if you want it!
how easy is that to do do u need visa etc
your lack of ability to make a decision is the problem good judgment will come with maturity, do nothing and stay where u r for now i feel u may get hurt if u rush things at the moment
Hi Shimmy since you really like this guy so much yes you have to take risks & make a move to live in his country considering that he accepts you being there. You mentioned something to do with religion. Well you have to make sure that it wont change your life inside out if its a totally different culture. Please try & be careful. I am sure that you will solve your own problem in a short time & hope that you know that we all support & respect your decision.
Wish you luck from the bottom of my heart.
Wish you luck from the bottom of my heart.
it will be what it will be only shimmy knows the truth of the matter and so it,s for her to decide 
Exactly! The right guy puts his foot down and if it klicks with both of you there is no time wasted. As you are investing daily time korresponding and not getting anywhere you should put it to him, to make up his mind.
Life is to short and if you look long enough you will find the right person. The way you are going he is blocking you in a way from developing feelings for someone else.
By not coming to a point he is already setting conditions, meaning he is influencing your life, through indeciciveness. Let it peter out, or tell him straight to his face/phone you are at the end of your tether.
Life is to short and if you look long enough you will find the right person. The way you are going he is blocking you in a way from developing feelings for someone else.
By not coming to a point he is already setting conditions, meaning he is influencing your life, through indeciciveness. Let it peter out, or tell him straight to his face/phone you are at the end of your tether.
shimmy u should read what ulimaroa sys and do it its the best advice ive seen on this thread and it puts your private life back where it belongs with u in private....
I am very impressed by your comment WW.
Do you mean that all the people who have contributed like me and YOU to Shimmy's question, are marriage councillors, or that they need be to help out?
Do you expect Shimmy to go out on a wild goose chase in another country just to try out her feelings...then maybe one day she wakes up to her own surprise, to the birds singing, and that she is in love?
What about if things turn the other way? Feelings are not enough to make a radical change to one's life. There must be more than that. Life is not a lottery, and it is for real...there are no second chances!
While respecting everybody else's opinion, I don't seem to agree with those who are in for a blind leap. There is absolutely no commitment on the part of the man, how can one take that situation seriously?
Time will tell however if I was right or wrong, even though I wish all the luck in the world to Shimmy.
Do you mean that all the people who have contributed like me and YOU to Shimmy's question, are marriage councillors, or that they need be to help out?
Do you expect Shimmy to go out on a wild goose chase in another country just to try out her feelings...then maybe one day she wakes up to her own surprise, to the birds singing, and that she is in love?
What about if things turn the other way? Feelings are not enough to make a radical change to one's life. There must be more than that. Life is not a lottery, and it is for real...there are no second chances!
While respecting everybody else's opinion, I don't seem to agree with those who are in for a blind leap. There is absolutely no commitment on the part of the man, how can one take that situation seriously?
Time will tell however if I was right or wrong, even though I wish all the luck in the world to Shimmy.
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First you decide what you want from a relationship . Next ask yourself if this relationship provides you with what you desire . If the answer is ' No ' then you end it and look for one which gives you what you need .