Step Kids. Imagine you are stepparent. How would treat his or her kids? (18)
I have had relations that involved children,and I tryed my best,with time to treat them as I would want my children to be treated.I have a very large extended family,and I love them with all that I am,and make a habbit of keeping in touch with them.
As far as the new "step mom" goes,I feel that not nessacarily do you have to be real chummy,chummy with her,but its a good idea to keep lines of communication with her,she will be spending time with your children,and so it would ,to me go without saying that its a good idea to give her a chance,and take it from there,see how it goes,and how the kids feel about her,and how she treats them.But,for me,there are rules,the children have a father,and he should be the one doing the majority of the disipline,but she too has a say,as it is her home as well,it is just in a diffrent manner then what dads role is.Kids tend to play sides,its a way to test the waters,and a new wife can leave a child feeling threatend,they want all of dads love,not trully understanding that there is enough love to go around.
I always say that love of any kind,coming from many,is always a good thing,so yes, the more people to love you the better.
I have many family members,and not all of them are blood.
Just keep a open mind,and remember that you will for awhile be playing the mediator.
As far as the new "step mom" goes,I feel that not nessacarily do you have to be real chummy,chummy with her,but its a good idea to keep lines of communication with her,she will be spending time with your children,and so it would ,to me go without saying that its a good idea to give her a chance,and take it from there,see how it goes,and how the kids feel about her,and how she treats them.But,for me,there are rules,the children have a father,and he should be the one doing the majority of the disipline,but she too has a say,as it is her home as well,it is just in a diffrent manner then what dads role is.Kids tend to play sides,its a way to test the waters,and a new wife can leave a child feeling threatend,they want all of dads love,not trully understanding that there is enough love to go around.
I always say that love of any kind,coming from many,is always a good thing,so yes, the more people to love you the better.
I have many family members,and not all of them are blood.
Just keep a open mind,and remember that you will for awhile be playing the mediator.
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I would treat them the same way as my kids. You have to, once youare a stepparent you have a certain responsibility to those other kids too. My stepfather treats me like crap, so i can relate to this topic.
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I had aweful step-das...But, not all are. I think the step-parent label gets a bad wrap, really.
Will take patience, perceverance, and love.
Lke Cherie said, they will test, but our own do as well. Excellent resourses out for help, too.
Ultimately it is the adults responsibilty.
I've alway cared for children...did in home day care for a long time, so you do see the button pushing in some families.
They test to see if your gonna go away. After time they do come around. Some never do. The personalities just don't click...whatever, but I think the usual is as what you all say about. Media give the label a hard time to follow...
Will take patience, perceverance, and love.
Lke Cherie said, they will test, but our own do as well. Excellent resourses out for help, too.
Ultimately it is the adults responsibilty.
I've alway cared for children...did in home day care for a long time, so you do see the button pushing in some families.
They test to see if your gonna go away. After time they do come around. Some never do. The personalities just don't click...whatever, but I think the usual is as what you all say about. Media give the label a hard time to follow...
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Thanks Cheri & Nene great advise.
Matches27, sweetie I am sorry to hear how your step dad treat you. You are better person than he is, congratulations, good actitude!
Matches27, sweetie I am sorry to hear how your step dad treat you. You are better person than he is, congratulations, good actitude!
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I am all over this topic!! I have a daughter and now I not only have a step father myself but now my daughter will soon have one too. It just so happens he used to be my best friend. I am the last one to be able to give advice but believe me i can understand this topic. I really hate my ex best friend but of course ican't show it because i don't want my daughter to see that kind of stuff from me.
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Your daughter is so lucky to have a father like you!
Can I give you an advise? I will ssumed you say yes.
Let go the anger you have against your best friend, it's only hurting you, free yourself from it.
Can I give you an advise? I will ssumed you say yes.
Let go the anger you have against your best friend, it's only hurting you, free yourself from it.
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My older two sons have a step mother. It was an evil time when she came into their lives. A lot happened that I wont get into here, but over the years, we realized that a united front was needed between me, my ex and her in order to effectively raise our children. In this case, she has been wonderful and the boys love her very much. She has always treated them the way she treats her own children. Because we adults were able to look past the differences that we had in the past, our children have had a positive picture drawn for them and their stepmother and I are actually best of friends now. So, I believe that if you're able to be mature enough to look past whatever hurt you have, stepparents will have an easier time accepting your children because they will not be holding the tension against their new spouses ex.
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No kids, never been married. I would raise them as my own. I wouldn't push myself on them. Give them the space needed, and every opportunity to know me.
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i don't have to image i was a step father to four children who i raised from very young ages.i did treated them like they were my own.but i would consider real hard before doing it again. it wasn't because of the children it was their mom after i help her raise them she walked out on me .so all i can say is gentleman be careful and i guess that would go for you ladies also.
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no step kids
i would do my best to treat them as i would my own kids not try to take their moms place but help when and where i could and le them know that i love them and that they can trust me and also that they would be able to talk to me about anything they needed advice in
my son has a halfsister that lives in georgia(sp) and hasnt seen her in 2yrs they are both little but i would love for them to get to know each other since their dad isnt there for either for of them i feel that need to know each other and should know each other me and her(my son halfsisters mom) talk at least everyother day
and its funny the things that they do alike(so far of the topic sorry)
i would do my best to treat them as i would my own kids not try to take their moms place but help when and where i could and le them know that i love them and that they can trust me and also that they would be able to talk to me about anything they needed advice in
my son has a halfsister that lives in georgia(sp) and hasnt seen her in 2yrs they are both little but i would love for them to get to know each other since their dad isnt there for either for of them i feel that need to know each other and should know each other me and her(my son halfsisters mom) talk at least everyother day
and its funny the things that they do alike(so far of the topic sorry)
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sorry but i really hate the title of this forum
Step Kids. Imagine you are stepparent. How would treat his or her kids?
if you have a commited relationship with someone with children they become your children (at least in spirit) you are the adult between yuou and thechild so don't use the (they say you are not my ---- line) because you are not but you should be there friend and understand they are having a hard time and help them adjust
been there done it
Step Kids. Imagine you are stepparent. How would treat his or her kids?
if you have a commited relationship with someone with children they become your children (at least in spirit) you are the adult between yuou and thechild so don't use the (they say you are not my ---- line) because you are not but you should be there friend and understand they are having a hard time and help them adjust
been there done it
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Your right adj4u,anyone can be a mother or a father,but it takes special someones to be moms and dads.
Adopted parents never say,"hi this is my adopted daughter/son",they say,"hi,this is my daughter/son".
Adopted parents never say,"hi this is my adopted daughter/son",they say,"hi,this is my daughter/son".
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Cheri & adj4u, I apologize if the title offended you in any way. My ex husband first kids, were also my first kids, I love them if they are my own. I don't like the title never used it to address them. When they introduced me to their friend they don't say, she is my mother, they said she is my step mom, when I introduce them, I say they are my kids brother or sister, I won't say they are my son or daughter I respect them I know I am not their mother (maybe I am wrong). Also I didn't make difference between brothers and sisters, they don't say half-brother or half-sister, the title does bother. But to other people that is the way they see it and call it. Hope you understand my point.
Thanks for your comments,
Yami.
Thanks for your comments,
Yami.
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Yami no offence was taking,I was just agreeing wiht adj on the topic of loving children that just happen not to share our blood.
And I too have half brothers and sisters,and not once when I am asked how many siblings do I have,do I say,so many half,and so many real,they are ALL my brothers and sisters.regardless how much blood we share.
And yes Yami you too are right,children will address us as how they feel us fit to be,I would,and do alway leave it up to them,it is a respect thing,and I would nver want to replace a parent,absent or otherwise,as I would never disrespect my childrens feelings in t his regard.
And I too have half brothers and sisters,and not once when I am asked how many siblings do I have,do I say,so many half,and so many real,they are ALL my brothers and sisters.regardless how much blood we share.
And yes Yami you too are right,children will address us as how they feel us fit to be,I would,and do alway leave it up to them,it is a respect thing,and I would nver want to replace a parent,absent or otherwise,as I would never disrespect my childrens feelings in t his regard.
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Give them as much love as you would give your own children
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i have dated woman with children for me it was easy i treated them like my own children.i accepted them as my own children,i love them as my own children.i care for them as my own children,i look after them as my own children.i protected and watch over them as my own children.which i never had any problem seeing a woman with children it is either all or none
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ABSOLUTELY!!!!! making friends with the "new stepmom" will only benifit your children!!!!!!! and I commend you on your continued friendship with your own ex-stepchildren!!!!!! In my poinion, children can never have too much love or loving adults in their lives. KUDOS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!:)
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Created: Oct 2005
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