Need advice, opinions and your .02 ... (45)
I don't know the answer to that, Assets..But, I know the solution..
Kick him in the balls!!
Kick him in the balls!!
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If everyone would admit to their mistakes and take personal responsibility for their actions, wouldn't this be a wonderful world? Unfortunately, the only fantasy island I am aware of on this planet is inside the I-495 loop.
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Some people never look at themselves....It is easier to blame others for their mistakes than to admit they are not perfect and see that we all make mistakes....Unfortunately they forget that the rest of us can see their mistakes and they end up looking like fools!!!!
Taking responsibility for ones actions is a sign of maturity and perhaps a step he forgot to take in life.....Show him all the proof of his errors and what it has cost the business and also is about to cost him in his job....If this doesn't wake him up....Nothing will!!!!!
Taking responsibility for ones actions is a sign of maturity and perhaps a step he forgot to take in life.....Show him all the proof of his errors and what it has cost the business and also is about to cost him in his job....If this doesn't wake him up....Nothing will!!!!!
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I have left a relationship where the man was like that. One thing I know for sure, he will not change.
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I work with someone like that as well. I believe that they have gone through life like this and no one corrected it properly at a young age. Unfortunate really, it causes problems for them and they don't even realize it.
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As an office manager too, I can see the writing on the wall. Refusing to learn his job means he just doesn't care about his job or take it seriously. My guess is he either is young, "thinks" he is above his position intellectually, or the old macho thing of, God Forbid, having a woman as his boss. The only time he will care is when he gets the inevitiable pink slip.
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I have on occasion been just like this. Constructive or destructive criticism can not be differentiated from. Both are an attack to the ego. He must feel like if he accepts responsibilty one time that in the future if anything wrong happens then he will be blamed. It is easier to blame someone else because it takes the heat off of one's self. This type of behavior is not easy to change. It would seem the best thing to do would be to have proof to show him if you would like to keep him on. It would be easier just to get rid of him. Looks like they gave you the dirty job that those above you did not want to dirty their hands with. In our meetings we call this the first step. In the first step we have the passage, "Who cares to admit defeat?" But after we admit that we have a problem then it becomes easier because we know what the problem is and can decide if we want to do something about it or not. Good luck with it.
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if he refuses, then not a thing you can do. he's done.
Can't make people think, or do anything...
Alot of folks live that way...
My ex is just one...
Can't make people think, or do anything...
Alot of folks live that way...
My ex is just one...
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Therein lies the real problem. Everyone has a password that is not known by anyone ... not even the owner. When you start your shift, you log into the system with your own password. So any mistakes made during your shift, the computer documents and tells all.
I have tried to help him, the owner himself has tried to talk to him. He still says "I didn't make that mistake" and shuts us off. This is an older gentleman. He seems to be well educated. But I am afraid after reading these posts, the solution may well be to let him go.
I do like arabella's suggestion however. It's worth a try.
I have tried to help him, the owner himself has tried to talk to him. He still says "I didn't make that mistake" and shuts us off. This is an older gentleman. He seems to be well educated. But I am afraid after reading these posts, the solution may well be to let him go.
I do like arabella's suggestion however. It's worth a try.
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I think you have to have a 1-2-1 with him and as his line manager you do need to tackle this. To soften the blow, as it were, it always helps to recognise and voice your recognition of where he is adept at his job, as well as dealing with where he is falling down, to get a balance, otherwise he will just see it as criticising, being singled out. If you have documentary evidence of errors he has made, that can't really be disputed then, can it? He needs to acknowledge that the purpose of you BOTH dealing with it is intended to be helpful to BOTH of you and, therefore improvements can be made. But whenever presenting a problem, you need to offer a solution. Hopefully, he will take it all in the vein in which it is meant. Good luck!
Failing that, I agree with Bobby, you can always just kick him in the balls!!!
Failing that, I agree with Bobby, you can always just kick him in the balls!!!
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Since there can be no mistake as to what is happening because of secret passwords, the man is lying to you and to the big boss. Is that really someone that you want working for you?
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He feels he's too self important to make mistakes... It's about him, and you probably will have to fire him... Unless you sit him down and point out EXACT incidents though, you'll have a hard time getting him to see his errors... You need a PAPER trail for a guy like this....
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Pure case of arrogance ... I had a friend like that. He called him self Jesus Christ 
Fire him ... there is no way to change him.
Fire him ... there is no way to change him.
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Hi, Assetts!
No one here can answer that question, intriguing as it may be. There is only one person who can, so ask him. Nicely and technically, but ask him and then give him time to answer. If he doesn't answer at first, remain silent, looking at him expectantly. He will then say more. Continue waiting silently and listening until he gives you the answer. You can assist him if he really clams up with a simple "And, so?" Nothing more than that on your part, and then silence.
And then let me know how this worked.
Oceans
No one here can answer that question, intriguing as it may be. There is only one person who can, so ask him. Nicely and technically, but ask him and then give him time to answer. If he doesn't answer at first, remain silent, looking at him expectantly. He will then say more. Continue waiting silently and listening until he gives you the answer. You can assist him if he really clams up with a simple "And, so?" Nothing more than that on your part, and then silence.
And then let me know how this worked.
Oceans
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Fear...and history...
Possibly as a young child he was given a soft path..never accountable for his actins...
You have arrived in his life, in the position that you hold, to help teach him this....
Personally, I would schedule a meeting with him, but informal, coffee in your office...serve him...sit in comfortable chairs face to face...
I would ask him if he has any idea why you asked him there...and watch his face...if there is a flicker...he already knows...
I would be gentle but firm...explaining exactly where he sits within the company, and why...and give clear reasons.
I would ask him, if he was manager how would he handle this situation?
How could he see a solution?
Can he see the difficult situation that you are in?
And ask him if this is what he feels is fair and just to him, and the company you both work for... and then give him an option...he can resign, or take responsibilities for his mistakes, and if he requires support in his position, you are willing to offer it for two weeks...if there is no change in performance...then that was his two weeks notice.
Performance is important, however, human beings are moreso...
Possibly as a young child he was given a soft path..never accountable for his actins...
You have arrived in his life, in the position that you hold, to help teach him this....
Personally, I would schedule a meeting with him, but informal, coffee in your office...serve him...sit in comfortable chairs face to face...
I would ask him if he has any idea why you asked him there...and watch his face...if there is a flicker...he already knows...
I would be gentle but firm...explaining exactly where he sits within the company, and why...and give clear reasons.
I would ask him, if he was manager how would he handle this situation?
How could he see a solution?
Can he see the difficult situation that you are in?
And ask him if this is what he feels is fair and just to him, and the company you both work for... and then give him an option...he can resign, or take responsibilities for his mistakes, and if he requires support in his position, you are willing to offer it for two weeks...if there is no change in performance...then that was his two weeks notice.
Performance is important, however, human beings are moreso...
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Sadly, it sounds like he's not a match for the job.
Business is business.
Business is business.
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He obviously is one of those educated idiots who either knows he's making the mistakes but expects you to fix them ,Doesn't care he's making mistakes cause he's to smart for this job,just waiting for Microsoft to call or he is just oblivious and thinks you are just picking on him cause he's smarter than you or he wants your job.
Tell him the company is instituting a new policy...all mistakes made under a persons log in are their responsibility rather they made them or not....if the mistakes are not corrected by the end of the shift then he gets a verbal warning,2 time not fixed he gets a written,3 he hits the bricks.
Be sure to smile sweetly and say "Good Luck" as he leaves in a huff.
Tell him the company is instituting a new policy...all mistakes made under a persons log in are their responsibility rather they made them or not....if the mistakes are not corrected by the end of the shift then he gets a verbal warning,2 time not fixed he gets a written,3 he hits the bricks.
Be sure to smile sweetly and say "Good Luck" as he leaves in a huff.
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If he won't take a look at himself you will have to let him go..
My ex is a splitting image of this person.
He was down this past week for court. My daughter opened her heart to him, and tried to get him to listen to how he makes her feel. He just kept making excuses and blaming everyone else..Then he got defensive and acted like a spoiled brat..
Sometimes people need to suffer there own consequences (whatever it may be). Hopefully when this happens they will open there eyes, but many don't...
My ex is a splitting image of this person.
He was down this past week for court. My daughter opened her heart to him, and tried to get him to listen to how he makes her feel. He just kept making excuses and blaming everyone else..Then he got defensive and acted like a spoiled brat..
Sometimes people need to suffer there own consequences (whatever it may be). Hopefully when this happens they will open there eyes, but many don't...
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This is a simplified version of some training I give to Managers in England with similar situations to deal with:
Three Step Turnaround
Step1 Why
Call a meeting with the person concerned. (Be armed with all the historical facts when you do.) The timeline of events leading up to the meeting are there to illustrate "why we are here" not as ammunition for a confrontation. Stick to the unarguable truth of the matter.
Step2 Expectations
Clearly state what your expectations are generally from your team and then how he fits in to this. Use pictorial imagery and check that there is a clear understanding. I suggest you qualify this by inviting a summary of these expectations from him before moving on to Step3.
Step3 Committment
Emphasise the importance of getting it right for the sake of you all. Share with him areas where he can over achieve his tasks. Identify what he is good at and build committment around extending this behaviour he demonstrates in executing that task to all areas of his work. His committment is vital. Be clear. Do not stack the dice against him show him how you will support him to achieve what is required.
Put like this if failure results you have been thorough and a Team Player to the end
Hope this helps
Three Step Turnaround
Step1 Why
Call a meeting with the person concerned. (Be armed with all the historical facts when you do.) The timeline of events leading up to the meeting are there to illustrate "why we are here" not as ammunition for a confrontation. Stick to the unarguable truth of the matter.
Step2 Expectations
Clearly state what your expectations are generally from your team and then how he fits in to this. Use pictorial imagery and check that there is a clear understanding. I suggest you qualify this by inviting a summary of these expectations from him before moving on to Step3.
Step3 Committment
Emphasise the importance of getting it right for the sake of you all. Share with him areas where he can over achieve his tasks. Identify what he is good at and build committment around extending this behaviour he demonstrates in executing that task to all areas of his work. His committment is vital. Be clear. Do not stack the dice against him show him how you will support him to achieve what is required.
Put like this if failure results you have been thorough and a Team Player to the end
Hope this helps
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My question is what makes a person refuse to accept responsibility for his actions? Help me to understand why he can't admit to making mistakes like the rest of us.