Trusting your own beliefes. ( Archived) (11)

I have so often heard from many people,that sometimes what we may believe and hold near and dear may not be the best .I have a parent who believes that she is always right,and that i should do like she used to to do when she was young.She was born in the 30's.She is wise is somethings,but totally outdated in others.I was born in the begining of the early 50's and alot of what she did was a bit oldfashioned to a degree,Her idea about Love and Dating is bring him home to the parents,so they can pass inspection on him.That is a bit premature,if you have just met him,and you don't know how well things will go with your relationship.I believe that it is best to wait and see if you 2 do click,before scaring him to death when bringing him in front of your family She lives in the past!!! you know, like the days of Ozzie and Harriot What would you say to this and how would you react? Ineed some good imput!!!!

Well for me the only inspection he has to pass is MINE!!!! I would have him meet my parents only when I knew things were getting serious between us and not before!!!!!!!!!!

Yes things have changed and parents can't expect their children to live by their ideals when they are adults!!!!!

I would say from reading what you brought up that what was right for her may not be right for you. I have found that some things I learned did not always apply in all cases.

Roy

How wonderful that your Mum is interested in your life, and protective of you that she wants to cast an eye over your friends....


And if you think about it, is she just as welcoming to your galfriends?

My parents when they were alive, begged me NOT to bring my friends over, they used to laugh and say it lowered the real estate values..

I have children , so they get to be the pretend parents, and every person whom I am interested in knowing more about, (because everything starts with friendship), be they male or female, meet them... it's what friends and families do.

I wouldn’t use the same standards today that I used when I was in my 20’s.

Not because times have changed, but because I have changed. I’m older!

When I was in my 20’s I was thinking in terms of getting married, having children, and raising them. That’s a whole family lifestyle.

There’s no way I’m looking for that now at 57.

What I’m seeking in the way of companionship has changed.

Moreover, I’m not hell-bent on finding a permanent relationship anymore. I mean, if it works out that way fine. But I’ve learned that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

I’ll talk a few years (or even a few months) of really great times with someone and not get all bent out of shape if we decide to part later.

The whole idea of permanence just isn’t important to me anymore. Hell, I’m not even permanent, why should I expect that from a relationship?

I mean, back when I was 20, permanent meant raising a family. I was a family-oriented man. Too bad I never married. They say the good ones always get away. Unfortunately some kids not only missed out on having a great father, but they missed out on living life altogether!

In light of that insight, I don’t think that what happens at the end of my life is all that relevant.

It's like I missed the ship. Anything I do now will just be a rowboat ride.

Take it for what it is.

My mother passed away when I was 18, my father when I was 27. So I never really had to worry about pleasing them, although I carried around some beliefs that held me back for many years. One of the beliefs is that I could not trust myself, I depended on them and I needed them for survival even after they were dead so I still lived as a prisoner to false beliefs. Today, I listen to what people have to say but in the end I make my own final choices that I believe are right for me today. Everyone would not agree with them but that is the beauty of learning to value your own process and standing in your own light. I still stumble and fall sometimes but I can pick myself back up at best. I learned myself to do that, my parents never taught it to me. They taught me not to trust and to fear risk.
What I am trying to say is it is your life and your process and it is up to you to free yourself from allowing your parents to control it.
They had and have their own. It would be nice to have their support for your independence but they teach us from their own fear. The beginning of peace is learning that love is letting go of fear. You take responsibility for yourself, your own choices and the consequences and you realize that you are responsible for your own happiness. Walk in your own light that shines from love and not fear.

i believe in Santa.

Duhhhhhh! doesn't everyone?

I hope so