A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share) ( Archived) (118)

Mar 18, 2007 3:58 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
uk1971
uk1971uk1971Lippstädt/Gütersloh, Germany330 Threads 2,429 Posts
Saw this on the EU forums and I've just got to pass it on..


John went to several pet shops to find a pet that no one else had.
Finally, he came to a shop that had in stock a parrot with a 15 inch beak. He instantly fell in love with the bird and asked the pet shop owner how much it was. The owner said, "You really don't want this bird because it can't talk. His beak is much too long. John didn't care, he wanted it and money was no object. Finally, the owner sold him the bird and as he was walking out the door he told him, "If you ever want that bird to talk, cut off his beak below the nose holes or he'll drown when he drinks."

As John was walking home with the bird on his shoulder, he decided he would try what the shop owner had told hikm, and he stopped off at the local hardware store. When he walked in, the owner said, "the hacksaws are on aisle 12. John was shocked and asked how he knew he wanted a hacksaw.He replied, I see you have that beautiful bird, and it's a shame that he won't be able to talk. If you're going to cut it's beak off just be careful and be sure to cut it off just below its nose hole otherwise it'll drown when it has a drink."
John again shocked asked how he knew that, and the owner told him that it was common knowledge. So, John purchased the saw and went home.

As he was arriving home, his neighbour said hello and commented that he had a beautiful bird, and that it was a shame that it wouldn't be able to talk as it had a 15 inch beak. John asked him how he knew that, and his neighbour replied that it was common knowledge.
He added "I see that you have a hacksaw. If you are going to cut the birds beak off, make sure you do it just below its nose holes, or it'll drown when it has a drink, and I assumed that everyone knew that." John thanked him and went on his way.

A couple of days later, John ran into his friend who asked him,
Where's your bird?"
Misty eyed, John told him the bird had died.
The neighbour was shocked and said, "I told you to be sure to cut below the nose holes or he would drown when he drinks," John said,
"I did."
"So." Said the neighbour,
"What happened?"
John said,
"I crushed his head in the vice."


grin uk
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Mar 18, 2007 4:01 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
traveldread
traveldreadtraveldreadmurcia, Murcia Spain310 Posts
lol thats terrible...rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 4:29 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
musichic
musichicmusichicQuakertown, Pennsylvania USA31 Threads 1,438 Posts
roll eyes laugh
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Mar 18, 2007 8:41 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
LMAo


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

... that's almost as bad as the Mitch Hedburg crap

he said....

I had a parrot once and he could talk

but he couldn't say

"I am hungry "


so he died
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 8:42 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
uk1971
uk1971uk1971Lippstädt/Gütersloh, Germany330 Threads 2,429 Posts
crying crying rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing crying crying uk
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Mar 18, 2007 8:43 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
<-------still LMFAO

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing crying crying crying rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

thumbs up 's up man


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 8:45 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
deborah12
deborah12deborah12wolverhampton, UK89 Threads 11,243 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 8:48 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
uk1971
uk1971uk1971Lippstädt/Gütersloh, Germany330 Threads 2,429 Posts
Christ Almighty I haven't laughed as much since the day the coastguard phoned a guy up to tell him the his Missing Mother-In-Law had been found floating in the bay, and that she had 6 lobsters hanging from her.
the coastguard asked him what he should do.
The guy replied,
"Well. You have three lobsters, I'll have the other three and............set her again.grin
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Mar 18, 2007 8:49 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing ...




......





rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing crying crying crying crying
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Mar 18, 2007 8:55 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
OK

more Mitch

He said:

He used to have and ant farm but those little b#$%ards didn't grow Shiv

He said he had a fake plant and it died because he didn't pretend to water it

and then

banana's are like stop lights but the opposite

green = wait a while

yellow means ok

And red means
Where the hell did you get that banana at


" you can't p[lease all the people all the time
and last night all those people were st my show


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 8:58 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
uk1971
uk1971uk1971Lippstädt/Gütersloh, Germany330 Threads 2,429 Posts
crying crying crying Oh Please. What idiot started this thread?rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing crying crying crying uk
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Mar 18, 2007 9:01 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
uk1971
uk1971uk1971Lippstädt/Gütersloh, Germany330 Threads 2,429 Posts
I don't know if you've got the same adverts as me, but if you have, take alook at he one at the top of this thread.

PARROT PROBLEMSrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing crying crying rolling on the floor laughing uk
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Mar 18, 2007 9:02 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
how 'bout


I love cinnamon rolls but I don't always have time to whip up a pan

I would like to go by some insence that smells like cinnamon rolls and light so when my roomates wake up
their heads are filled with false hopes

I want to be a race car passenger

Just the guy who bugs the driver
"hey can I put my feet out the window?"
why we have to keep driving in circles?"
"can you slow down a bit?"
"Man..... You really like Tide"rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 9:04 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
OMG


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 9:05 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
Holy Shiv

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

u r right


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing crying crying crying crying

what r the odds of that?


LMFAOcrying crying crying
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Mar 18, 2007 9:09 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

I saw this wine ooo

he was eating grapes

I was like you have to waitrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 9:11 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
how 'bout

I have so much tartar on my teeth I don't have to dip my fish sticks in Shiv
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Mar 18, 2007 9:11 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
uk1971
uk1971uk1971Lippstädt/Gütersloh, Germany330 Threads 2,429 Posts
crying Nurse Nurse I need oxygen!!!!!!!crying crying rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing uk
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Mar 18, 2007 9:12 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
imbroglio
imbroglioimbroglioWest Linn, USA96 Threads 2,928 Posts
I have two straws in my drink in case one of them breaks downrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 18, 2007 9:15 PM CST A Parrot story (This one I just gotta share)
DogMaI
DogMaIDogMaISartell, Minnesota USA17 Threads 1 Polls 2,729 Posts
It takes forever to cook a baked potatoe in a conventional oven. Sometimes I put one in even if I'm not hungry. 'Cause by the time it's done Who Knows!dunno rolling on the floor laughing

Thanks for the Mitch Hedberg manthumbs up
and the parrot joke thawt was good stuffrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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by uk1971 (330 Threads)
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