What i have learned about online dating.. ( Archived) (8)

I have met a couple of people on here well, never met, but talked. You know at first you just want to rush into things and make all your dreams come true. At, least i did. But, then when the cold, hard reality set's in, and you realize that things can or are not able to work the way you want them to or the way the other person wants. I guess, learning more and more about my self, everyday. You know I want to love someone the way i have always dreamt about. But then you realize that life is going on at the same time. Trying to be a great brother, son, friend, phone boyfriend, whatever to everyone. That's life for ya, work 2 jobs, sleep, eat, take care of responsibilities that you have.

Distance is a major factor that i think maybe some of us don't realize or do. I have found out that 8 hours can seem like another country. And when you don't have time for the things you already have in life, how can you for someonelse?? Even if that person you know you could fall in love with?

The thing about on-line dating is so far from what i gathered is that you really can get to know their personality. Some just take time to really expose theirselves. I feel like getting to know the woman i have been trying for a couple of months was worth every bit and will remain friends. And for those who can actually make an online dating thing work, my respect to you completly. I have found out the harsh cold truth of my situation. Maybe some can relate to what i have felt. Maybe some don't think that any of this is true.

I guess what im trying to just say is that this isn't easy at all. I never thought it would be. But, now i know that maybe in life, things are so hectic to where you can't have someone in your life in long distance relationships.

I know that i have given it one hell of a shot because i do want to meet the love of my life. Maybe i already have or haven't but until then if it's online or in real life i will give the best i can. And right now if life i can't. Does anyone relate to what im saying??

Good luck in everything bro. I know what you mean.

You have nothing but time. Relax my dear friend.

Hey Stew,
I completely understand what you're getting at. A lot of the people you connect with are a ways away and with the business in everyday life it's hard to connect. But it can work if both parties are willing to bend a little and give in so you can meet in the middle. Being patient about things happening is also hard for me. "Give me patience and give it to me RIGHT now" is my motto. So I have to stop, count to ten and shut up. I do that a lot. Don't give up just because 1 or 2 situations did not size up right. There are a lot of people out there, you are really a cool guy and it will work out for you. Believe!

Stew - I've found for myself that online dating is fine when you connect with someone local .... there is a far greater chance of being successful and truly getting to know that person. I have "connected" with people farther away and in the past did move for someone. Despite the fact that we had spent considerable time together (as much as a long distance relationship will allow)....I found that I didn't truly know this person and he ended up being an alcoholic (of course when I was around him in the beginning - he was always on good behaviour! - reminds me of when we first start dating someone and they slowly change over time).... the reality is that they let their guard down and then we begin to finally start seeing who they are.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is never give up ..... you can find love .... but it takes time and effort .... and not settling for someone. Online romance can become real when you bring it into your "real" life.

My Mr. Wonderful is out there somewhere too ... but he'd better move closer to me ... otherwise we will probably never meet!

Hey Stew, sorry things didn't work out for you, but if you learned something from it, and had a good time while it lasted, it wasn't all lost. When the time is right, it'll happen, and it won't matter how far or how long, you'll both know. Ane you can't have met the love of your life already, or you'd be with her. Keep trying, just have fun while you're doing it.

PS Glad you're back!

Stew,

I have my own reservation about online dating which I will not go into right now but any relationship will take time. Rather you meet them on line or their your neighbor any relationship will take a effort on both parties, fron start to end. I am in no way saying a relationship should be all consumming but they will take your time and your effort.

No relationship is easy. They should be and with effort they may be.

Anything worth having is worth working for.


brother