HOW WOULD U MANAGE HURTFUL MANNERISMS OF YOUR LOVER? (25)
Mindpower10 Threads 97 PostsCOME what may, what we are doing here will surely result in some lucky ones getting connected. The study of a date online will certainly not be sufficient for a working long lasting relationship. If Mannerisms of one partner or the other is embarrassing, hurtful and/or so abnormal how would you manage it in the interest of love? This is disaster management. What is your strategy?
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I probably would go on my way.
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"If Mannerisms of one partner or the other is embarrassing, hurtful and/or so abnormal how would you manage it in the interest of love?"
In the interest of love???
I can only say that you seem to have a totally different concept of *love* than I do.
I'm with Lionhearted. I'd move on.
To me there's a huge difference between making an honest attempt to foster genuine love, and making a desperate attempt to create love where it basically doesn't exist.
In the interest of love???
I can only say that you seem to have a totally different concept of *love* than I do.
I'm with Lionhearted. I'd move on.
To me there's a huge difference between making an honest attempt to foster genuine love, and making a desperate attempt to create love where it basically doesn't exist.
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I'm not interested in managing anyone.
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"I'm not interested in managing anyone."
That reminds me of the time I went to an anger management class. Everyone was talking about what makes them angry and how they vent their feelings.
After a while I raised my hand and asked, "Can we get on with the purpose of this class?"
They all looked at me with a strange look on their face, and said, "This is an anger management class"
I pulled a little piece of paper form my pocket and looked at it and then said, "Oh I'm sorry. I thought the ad said ANGEL management class"
That reminds me of the time I went to an anger management class. Everyone was talking about what makes them angry and how they vent their feelings.
After a while I raised my hand and asked, "Can we get on with the purpose of this class?"
They all looked at me with a strange look on their face, and said, "This is an anger management class"
I pulled a little piece of paper form my pocket and looked at it and then said, "Oh I'm sorry. I thought the ad said ANGEL management class"
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I see; Lionhearted and Abracadabra have no strategy to dealing with queer mannerisms of a partner they may have promised love online only to find out that he/she needs further treat. They are ready to trade love for dignity and avoidance of embarrassment and shame. The question is, did you mean what you told that gal/guy?
They may be right on the other hand; and bear no responsibility if people fail to be truthful and open.
They may be right on the other hand; and bear no responsibility if people fail to be truthful and open.
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Oh! hahahahaha, Abra. please was that one a true episode or a joke? Did you have your lens glass on?
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Somehow I think I just don't understand this question yet.
Is the question "how you would deal with things about your lover that embarass you or make you ashamed to be with them???
Is this assuming that you are very much in love with this partner?
Mindpower, please elaborate.
Is the question "how you would deal with things about your lover that embarass you or make you ashamed to be with them???
Is this assuming that you are very much in love with this partner?
Mindpower, please elaborate.
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Arabella, you are correct. You are in love for sure but the person has traits or mannerisms that put you and others off. Would you sacrifice LOVE or crucify this shortcoming about ya partner on the cross of LOVE?
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I kind of like the golden rule approach. I haven't always had that much luck with it, though.
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If it was true love, then more than likely you wouldn't even notice such mannerisms.
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Miss Me wrote:
"dear me.. can I stay with a man who just lifts his leg and passes gas and kills those standing close enough?"...
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
What kinds of men are you dating Miss Me?
I used to feel fairly sophisticated, but after reading your post I laughed so hard I even farted myself! Are you sure you aren't inciting this behavior? (ha ha)
"dear me.. can I stay with a man who just lifts his leg and passes gas and kills those standing close enough?"...
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
What kinds of men are you dating Miss Me?
I used to feel fairly sophisticated, but after reading your post I laughed so hard I even farted myself! Are you sure you aren't inciting this behavior? (ha ha)
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Arabella and MissMe made me feel like my post is short of proper english construction which makes for clarity and coherence. Nevertheless, they have at the same time endeavoured to make wonderful contributions in their posts.
Now more stunning a post is the one from Abracadabra which he began my quoting me and introducing himself thus:
Post: "You are in love for sure but the person has traits or mannerisms that put you and others off. Would you sacrifice LOVE or crucify this shortcoming about ya partner on the cross of LOVE?"
That's really hard to address MP without getting really specific.
This post is a wonderful lecture I never imagined. I am sending it straight to my msn space subject to the approval of the author, Abra. I hope many people would care to address themselves with this thread because great things/learning is going on here. I have the feeling that we are not only here for dating but an added advantage of learning more tricks(shd. I say strategies) about sociology.
Bravo, Abra and all great people here.
If anybody can reconstruct this thread, where necessary, to make for easy understanding by members--welcome.
Now more stunning a post is the one from Abracadabra which he began my quoting me and introducing himself thus:
Post: "You are in love for sure but the person has traits or mannerisms that put you and others off. Would you sacrifice LOVE or crucify this shortcoming about ya partner on the cross of LOVE?"
That's really hard to address MP without getting really specific.
This post is a wonderful lecture I never imagined. I am sending it straight to my msn space subject to the approval of the author, Abra. I hope many people would care to address themselves with this thread because great things/learning is going on here. I have the feeling that we are not only here for dating but an added advantage of learning more tricks(shd. I say strategies) about sociology.
Bravo, Abra and all great people here.
If anybody can reconstruct this thread, where necessary, to make for easy understanding by members--welcome.
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Abra.. after reading some of your posts, I giggle til I snort then it becomes an all out coughing battle with wads of used kleenex on the floor... :)
Forturnately I have yet to handle such a man as I described, but if I get my son to realize that his gas is none short of the a-bomb and to properly uitilize them in another part of the house then he won't be one (see previous post describing Gas Man)..
I consider myself intelligent with a quirky sense of humor.. but after reading the original post here.. I have wondered, maybe I should have taken more classes on Philosophy and get more current versions of the dictionary..
Forturnately I have yet to handle such a man as I described, but if I get my son to realize that his gas is none short of the a-bomb and to properly uitilize them in another part of the house then he won't be one (see previous post describing Gas Man)..
I consider myself intelligent with a quirky sense of humor.. but after reading the original post here.. I have wondered, maybe I should have taken more classes on Philosophy and get more current versions of the dictionary..
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What was it that Voltaire said about manners....something to the effect of To succeed in the world, it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well mannered...manners are neede by most people, but the pretty ones can get away with anything....:)
In todays world, the hardest job kids face, may be learning good manners without ever seeing any, or one way to sum it up is by what Rita Rudner once said:"Men who listen to Classical music tend not to spit." :)
In todays world, the hardest job kids face, may be learning good manners without ever seeing any, or one way to sum it up is by what Rita Rudner once said:"Men who listen to Classical music tend not to spit." :)
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"Men who listen to Classical music tend not to spit."
So THAT'S why I don't spit.
I knew there had to be a reason. (ha ha)
So THAT'S why I don't spit.
I knew there had to be a reason. (ha ha)
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Now I had a boyfriend who smoked cigars in the bathtub and let the ashes fall into the water.
Now that be considered an irritating habit, but is it a hurtful mannerism?
I suppose it could be hurtful if a burning ash missed the water and hit bare skin LOL
Now that be considered an irritating habit, but is it a hurtful mannerism?
I suppose it could be hurtful if a burning ash missed the water and hit bare skin LOL
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A simple definition of mannerism(s) show that it could be hurtful. To be hurt doesn't necessarily call for corporal infliction, battery in that sense. For eg. The Cambridge Advanced Learner's dictionary defines Mannerism as (1) "Something a person does repeatedly with his face, hands, or voice and which they may not be aware of. (2) A distinctive behavioral trait, idiosyncrasy.... eg. He's got some very strange mannerisms; We've spent so much time together that we've picked each other's mannerisms.
The HighBeam Research quotes Danni Davies(Palm Beach Post 4 Sept. 2003) as having written "Mannerism leads to man's arrest". Your lover could be arrested, Lol!
"Dictionary dot com" defines Mannerism as (1) an exaggerated or affected style or habit as in dress or speech. (2) An artistic style of the late 16th century characterised by distortion of elements such as scale or perspective.
From the foregoing definitions, It could never be wrong concluding that bad "mannerisms" hurt. It is a kind of body language, gestures. If such a thing is bad/negative it could be hurtful. So I insist that negative mannerisms can potentially hurt our lovers both in the home and outside.
I think I've made myself clear now. Whatever the case is, members have actually treated the question very well.
The HighBeam Research quotes Danni Davies(Palm Beach Post 4 Sept. 2003) as having written "Mannerism leads to man's arrest". Your lover could be arrested, Lol!
"Dictionary dot com" defines Mannerism as (1) an exaggerated or affected style or habit as in dress or speech. (2) An artistic style of the late 16th century characterised by distortion of elements such as scale or perspective.
From the foregoing definitions, It could never be wrong concluding that bad "mannerisms" hurt. It is a kind of body language, gestures. If such a thing is bad/negative it could be hurtful. So I insist that negative mannerisms can potentially hurt our lovers both in the home and outside.
I think I've made myself clear now. Whatever the case is, members have actually treated the question very well.
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If, and ONLY if, I truly love him, he gets three chances to get it right.
First offence: At the time of offence, I offer only a look that can only be compared to Queen Victoria's "We are NOT amused!" look. Later, in private, I tell him, "Honey, that was very and I'd appreciate it if you never did that again."
Second offence: I'd apply Newtonian physics. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If it's in public, (I KNOW I can't pretend it didn't happen) my equal and opposite (and very funny) reaction will show the audience that I think his behaviour was rude, but that I'm not about to just walk out on him because otherwise he's a nice guy. Example: He gases us out... I feign a fainting spell, come to, and say "Jeepers, Hon... my eyes are burnin'/that was ear-splittin'!" I make it generally known by my actions that I don't condone his behaviour. Hopefully HIS public humiliation will be enough to stop his habit dead in its tracks. I warn him privately that I will NOT be made guilty by association, so he'd better not do it again. If it's related to a proven medical condition, I might not be so harsh, but I'd certainly avoid public areas in the future!
Third offence: If it's the medical condition, then I just won't go out with him to embarassing places... I'll find a substitute date if I really want to go out. If it's inexcusable, then he's dumped... he's got no right to do that to me (or anyone else). In recognition of his otherwise good company on other occassions, I'll enrol him in a canine obedience class.
First offence: At the time of offence, I offer only a look that can only be compared to Queen Victoria's "We are NOT amused!" look. Later, in private, I tell him, "Honey, that was very and I'd appreciate it if you never did that again."
Second offence: I'd apply Newtonian physics. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If it's in public, (I KNOW I can't pretend it didn't happen) my equal and opposite (and very funny) reaction will show the audience that I think his behaviour was rude, but that I'm not about to just walk out on him because otherwise he's a nice guy. Example: He gases us out... I feign a fainting spell, come to, and say "Jeepers, Hon... my eyes are burnin'/that was ear-splittin'!" I make it generally known by my actions that I don't condone his behaviour. Hopefully HIS public humiliation will be enough to stop his habit dead in its tracks. I warn him privately that I will NOT be made guilty by association, so he'd better not do it again. If it's related to a proven medical condition, I might not be so harsh, but I'd certainly avoid public areas in the future!
Third offence: If it's the medical condition, then I just won't go out with him to embarassing places... I'll find a substitute date if I really want to go out. If it's inexcusable, then he's dumped... he's got no right to do that to me (or anyone else). In recognition of his otherwise good company on other occassions, I'll enrol him in a canine obedience class.
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