And at work.... (14)

# The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

# If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

# A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.

# Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

# It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

# After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

# The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

# You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

# Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

# When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

# If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being stubborn.

# There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

# Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

# Arriving to work early sets an expectation that your less ambitious co-workers will not appreciate.

# Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

# Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

# To err is human, to forgive is not a part of company policy.

# Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

# Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

# If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

# You are always doing something frivolous when the boss drops by your desk.

# The people chosen to go to conferences are always the party animals with no intention of learning a thing.

# If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.

# At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

# When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

# Following the rules will not get the job done.

# Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

# When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

# No matter how much you do, you never do enough, let alone too much.

# The last person that quit or was fired will be blamed for everything that goes wrong.

# If you want to advance upwards in the company hierchy, there are two simple rules to observe : 1) Never share everything you know.

Thanks for handing out the manual of smart male getting further in the Jobs

Do you really want us to go there with a version for women?

# If you want to advance upwards in the company hierchy, there are two simple rules to observe : 1) Never share everything you know.

What's the other simple rule then?

Duh! Didn't you get that? He's not sharing everything he knows!

It's like: there are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.

Excuse me...calling me a duh??? I never asked for your opinion, but if you want to share it with us...BE POLITE IN DOING SO

You're excused

I meant to put in an emoticon to show I was joking. You're a tough little cookie, aren't you?

Yes she is isn't she? And cute too. Could probably kill a man with one flick of her tongue at twenty paces ;)

Want to try your fortune with her?

Ohw come on I aint that bad!!!
Usually killingtime enjoys upsetting people, but look how nice he's being to me....Did you read what I said about you in the thread Question? You might change your mind about being nice after you read that