Joshs Guide to Sensitive Guy

catharsisechoTerre Haute, USA3 Threads 57 Posts

catharsisechoOPTerre Haute, USA57 posts

Forgive the pretention. I'm fairly new to this site in general, and the forums in specific. After having a coffee fueled frenzy of forum browsing, I've noticed many threads popping up complaining about "needy," "clingy," and "insecure" men. Being an avowed member of the shy-insecure men's union, I feel the need to take a moment to address the issue of why we are this way. There is a very firm and distinct demarkation that seperates the shy, insecure male and the obsessivly jealous male. I will address this point as well.

So, you have found yourself dating a man you are somewhat pleased with. He treats you well. He makes you laugh. He seems to be an all around nice guy. But does he perhaps call you back just after hanging up with you because he thinks you might have misinterperated what seemed to you a simple and innoculous comment? When you are at a party, does he follow you around like a lost puppy? When he is joking around with his friends, does he glance at you every once in a while as if to gauge the way you are reacting to what he is saying? Does he get quiet and somewhat defensive after you just related a very funny story about a male co-worker? Then you have found yourself in a relationship with a card carrying member of the local chapter of the shy-insecure union.

Never fear! There are solutions! Don't give up, because the shy-insecures are an oft overlooked and underappreciated subdivision of the male population. One thing you must always ask yourself- why is he acting this way? What is it that makes the shy-insecure shy and insecure.

1. Perhaps he has been socialized early on this way.
Many shy-insecures develop at an early age. Perhaps your boyfriend was the kid reading the book (or, for us young'uns, playing the gameboy!) out on the recess yard. Many theories abound as to what makes some kids more introverted than others. It is sometimes difficult to get out of the habit of being shy-insecure once it becomes set in childhood.

2. Perhaps he had one (or several!) bad relationships.
Once burned, twice shy; so they say. The human brain has the amazing capacity to take two unrelated things or events and make analogies and connections between them. This is even true of relationships. Example: A man is in a relationship with a woman who is a day person and goes to bed early. They throw a party at their home, but he has to work the next day and goes to bed early. He wakes up the next day alone and goes downstairs to find his wife in the arms of his best friend. A few years later, the man is in another relationship. They throw a party at their home, but he has to work the next morning and goes to bed early. He wakes up alone and even though these are two different situations, his first knee-jerk reaction is what has happened now?

3. Perhaps his an emo neo-hipster.
These people typically spend their time listening to bands like "Dashboard Confessional" and "Bright Eyes". They are also the reformed jocks that gave our gameboy kid from reason #1 such an inferiority complex. they have somehow taken awkwardness/bitterness and made it into a small subculture. These should be avoided at all costs, as self-loathing gets really frockin' annoing, expecially when it is fake.