Unsolicited Mail............ (14)
Since moving here thankfully I don't get junk mail as yet.
Just lots of happy post.
Just lots of happy post.
happy post' - wazzat?
Unfortunately Malta is becoming very sophisticated in copying UK marketing techniques; they are already 'cold-calling' people on the telephone.......... which reminds me of three little words to deal with people who cold call you trying to interest you in their product or service.
All you say are these three little words:
'PLEASE HOLD ON'
Then you go and make yourself a coffee, have a bath, cook dinner or whatever. Don't forget to hang up the telephone once you are sure the pesky cold caller has gone!
Unfortunately Malta is becoming very sophisticated in copying UK marketing techniques; they are already 'cold-calling' people on the telephone.......... which reminds me of three little words to deal with people who cold call you trying to interest you in their product or service.
All you say are these three little words:
'PLEASE HOLD ON'
Then you go and make yourself a coffee, have a bath, cook dinner or whatever. Don't forget to hang up the telephone once you are sure the pesky cold caller has gone!
Good technique 
Wow! That is an amazingingly Good Idea!
Rusty, you could make a fortune .... one of those "get-rich-quick-schemes". You just put an advert in a couple newspapers in SA saying "Be your own Boss - Work from home - Serve your Planet and your neighbors - Supreme Re-cycling - Involving No Cash Outlay"..... "Just send $/£/R XXX to this Box Number", and then you send them That Idea! in exchange for their cash.
You tell them, in a glossy brochure, to collect all their neighbors junk mail, with envelopes, preferably those Readers Digest Sweepstake ones, and they just stuff all the envelopes with the junk mail and post it.... Brilliant.
Lots of people make a living selling their corny ideas like that. Just make sure you got a real good anonymous box number, and might be a good idea to get an acquintance to fetch your mail......
Rusty, you could make a fortune .... one of those "get-rich-quick-schemes". You just put an advert in a couple newspapers in SA saying "Be your own Boss - Work from home - Serve your Planet and your neighbors - Supreme Re-cycling - Involving No Cash Outlay"..... "Just send $/£/R XXX to this Box Number", and then you send them That Idea! in exchange for their cash.
You tell them, in a glossy brochure, to collect all their neighbors junk mail, with envelopes, preferably those Readers Digest Sweepstake ones, and they just stuff all the envelopes with the junk mail and post it.... Brilliant.
Lots of people make a living selling their corny ideas like that. Just make sure you got a real good anonymous box number, and might be a good idea to get an acquintance to fetch your mail......
Thanks, smoky - but I am a man of great integrity! ~burp~ 
...said he .... whilst stuffing the pre-paid envelopes with all his junk mail.......!
... while the tele-sales lady is still "hanging on" waiting for him to return to the phone .......
... while the tele-sales lady is still "hanging on" waiting for him to return to the phone .......
Very funny and for sure also efficient - if all people participated acting in that way ..
I like Smoky´s entrepreneurship
In Germany we have an easy way - done by I think the consumer protection ..its called "Robinsonliste.de"
A Robinson List or MPS list is a list of people who do not wish to receive marketing transmissions. The marketing can be via e-mail, postal mail, telephone, or fax. In each case, contact numbers will be placed on a blacklist.
It is named after the character Robinson Crusoe from the eponymous novel by Daniel Defoe, as this name symbolizes solitude.
I like Smoky´s entrepreneurship
In Germany we have an easy way - done by I think the consumer protection ..its called "Robinsonliste.de"
A Robinson List or MPS list is a list of people who do not wish to receive marketing transmissions. The marketing can be via e-mail, postal mail, telephone, or fax. In each case, contact numbers will be placed on a blacklist.
It is named after the character Robinson Crusoe from the eponymous novel by Daniel Defoe, as this name symbolizes solitude.
It just started here in Spain as well and it drives us nuts ..thank you for the idea rusty!
Unfortunately there is another system in use which is is a computer generated calling system ..usually on the mobile phone ..it calls you about 8 times a day unless you answer quickly ..when u are the first to answer, they try to sell u stuff ...if u are the second on the list, all u hear is a tone indicating someone rang off.
That goes on now since two summers and is done by telefonicas mobile phone company..trying to stop this marketing ploy was like a road to hell..and no good intentions.
Just to let u know of what else is used for consumer comfort
Unfortunately there is another system in use which is is a computer generated calling system ..usually on the mobile phone ..it calls you about 8 times a day unless you answer quickly ..when u are the first to answer, they try to sell u stuff ...if u are the second on the list, all u hear is a tone indicating someone rang off.
That goes on now since two summers and is done by telefonicas mobile phone company..trying to stop this marketing ploy was like a road to hell..and no good intentions.
Just to let u know of what else is used for consumer comfort
In SA I used to rather enjoy these tele-sales calls, once I got the hang of them ......
.... When I realised it was one of those... I took it as a break in my busy day, propped the receiver with my shoulder, rolled a smoke, and grunted yes`s ..... until they got to the part about finances ....
"What is your average income?"
A. Nothing
"Do you have a Credit Card?
A. No
"A cheque book?"
No.
... then they would say "Sorry ma`m, you don`t qualify".
At least I got to sit still, do nothing, and have a smoke for 10 minutes, without having to be rude.
.... When I realised it was one of those... I took it as a break in my busy day, propped the receiver with my shoulder, rolled a smoke, and grunted yes`s ..... until they got to the part about finances ....
"What is your average income?"
A. Nothing
"Do you have a Credit Card?
A. No
"A cheque book?"
No.
... then they would say "Sorry ma`m, you don`t qualify".
At least I got to sit still, do nothing, and have a smoke for 10 minutes, without having to be rude.
Hmmmmmm............
Sometimes I'd be very polite and helpful and then gradually ask the person who has called ME questions.........turning the interview round (and heck, the call was costing me nothing!)
'And what is YOUR date of birth? Postcode? Are you attractive? Do you have your own teeth? Could you afford to take me out?
Having the person who has the stressful job of telesales or marketing a chance to relax and laugh hopefully brightened up their day!
As I myself am very good at talking to people on the telephone I'd coach them a little........
'You're reading from a script, aren't you? Slow down. Stand up and smile, dammit - believe the person on the other side is your friend and has been waiting all day for you to call!'
THE BEST WAY TO AVOID THESE UNWELCOME CALLS IS TO ENGINEER YOURSELF A REALLY BAD CREDIT RATING - THEY THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE!
Sometimes I'd be very polite and helpful and then gradually ask the person who has called ME questions.........turning the interview round (and heck, the call was costing me nothing!)
'And what is YOUR date of birth? Postcode? Are you attractive? Do you have your own teeth? Could you afford to take me out?
Having the person who has the stressful job of telesales or marketing a chance to relax and laugh hopefully brightened up their day!
As I myself am very good at talking to people on the telephone I'd coach them a little........
'You're reading from a script, aren't you? Slow down. Stand up and smile, dammit - believe the person on the other side is your friend and has been waiting all day for you to call!'
THE BEST WAY TO AVOID THESE UNWELCOME CALLS IS TO ENGINEER YOURSELF A REALLY BAD CREDIT RATING - THEY THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE!
The best way to avoid these calls is to simply say no thank you, 'engineering' a bad credit rating is a waste of valuable time, and what happens when you do want credit?
The idea of 'putting them on hold' seems to work, but then you need to create a really interesting 'soundtrack' for them to listen to..... screams, then chopping up of body, pleading for life, military strike task force talking in an attack on 'enemy base' something like that...... would certainly brighten up their day....
oh hang on, I'm just thinking of other ways to waste valuable time
The idea of 'putting them on hold' seems to work, but then you need to create a really interesting 'soundtrack' for them to listen to..... screams, then chopping up of body, pleading for life, military strike task force talking in an attack on 'enemy base' something like that...... would certainly brighten up their day....
oh hang on, I'm just thinking of other ways to waste valuable time
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Created: Oct 2007
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'When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk,do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-prepaid return envelopes, right?
It costs them more than the regular postage "IF" and when they are returned. It costs them nothing if you throw them away!
In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and
put it in these cool little, postage-prepaid return envelopes?
Send an advert for your local chimney sweeper to American Express ..
They might need one!
Send a pizza coupon to HSBC ... In case their canteen packs up!'