What would cause a man do a complete reversal in a relationship literally overnight? (73)
You shared your feelings, however emotional they were. Try not to take responsibility for how he chose to react. 
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sweetliberty: Neither of us had been in a relationship for quite a long time.
perhaps your letter triggered something that was delicate within him and that if he responded would only have made matters worse
- suggest you write another reiterating that you may have been a bit obtuse and telling him of your feelings on the matter and that if he requires "space" - it is there for him.
suggest the letter is charged with positive emmotions--- the word can be so loaded without us even realising it
--- look at some of the 'Charged responses on this thread
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CuspofMagic: perhaps your letter triggered something that was delicate within him and that if he responded would only have made matters worse
- suggest you write another reiterating that you may have been a bit obtuse and telling him of your feelings on the matter and that if he requires "space" - it is there for him.
suggest the letter is charged with positive emmotions--- the word can be so loaded without us even realising it
--- look at some of the 'Charged responses on this thread
- suggest you write another reiterating that you may have been a bit obtuse and telling him of your feelings on the matter and that if he requires "space" - it is there for him.
suggest the letter is charged with positive emmotions--- the word can be so loaded without us even realising it
--- look at some of the 'Charged responses on this thread
I think I've said enough at this point....if he is even reading what I've sent. He knows my heart. There's no way he can NOT know that what he is doing is devastating to me. I can be understanding and compassionate to a fault and am always willing to extend the benefit of the doubt. He knows I love him, and I'm sure he knows he can talk to me at any time. I've always left that door open, and in later communication made it very clear. I don't want to back him into a corner. I suspect that may be how he felt with the email, which probably had a lot to do with how he responded. Doesn't excuse it, but men do tend to want to have their cake and eat it too. Honestly, I feel like he has probably wanted to talk to me, but I'm guessing that he doesn't have the courage to face me. That may be because he knows he's hurt me or it may be because he is afraid I won't accept what he has to say..I don't know. Time will tell.
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Jewells: SweetLiberty
A while back, I Had same experience and it was literally overnite, too! We were monagomus for weeks and in a discussion at lunch out when an 'old female friend' of his walked by, I asked "If you got the chance, would you take her out again?" When He answered a somber honest 'yes', I flipped! (I Don't feel that was any big deal!I assumed if situations were reversed and I answered that way, he would be pissed,too!)
In any case, text messages, phonecalls, went unanswered. Then a few days later he sent me an email......He simply said" This is the best way for me to explain" The Email was a copy of "Beautiful Looser" by Bob Seger
Obviously, As soon as we attemt to complete some men by making them feel Secure, they want to be free ....If we try to make it a monagomous relationship they get scared and feel trapped ......They "Want it all, but know they can't have it" without getting in a bigger jam!
Go Figure...Damned if ya do Damned if ya don't
I would say let him leave ( knowing its easier said than done!)
I Wish you well, Liberty
J
A while back, I Had same experience and it was literally overnite, too! We were monagomus for weeks and in a discussion at lunch out when an 'old female friend' of his walked by, I asked "If you got the chance, would you take her out again?" When He answered a somber honest 'yes', I flipped! (I Don't feel that was any big deal!I assumed if situations were reversed and I answered that way, he would be pissed,too!)
In any case, text messages, phonecalls, went unanswered. Then a few days later he sent me an email......He simply said" This is the best way for me to explain" The Email was a copy of "Beautiful Looser" by Bob Seger
Obviously, As soon as we attemt to complete some men by making them feel Secure, they want to be free ....If we try to make it a monagomous relationship they get scared and feel trapped ......They "Want it all, but know they can't have it" without getting in a bigger jam!
Go Figure...Damned if ya do Damned if ya don't
I would say let him leave ( knowing its easier said than done!)
I Wish you well, Liberty
J
LOL! Why did you invite trouble by even asking that question?
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MysteriousT: LOL! Why did you invite trouble by even asking that question?
I think it is our natural inclination as women to seek assurance from the man we love that we are the only woman he sees, thinks about or can imagine beng with. Sometimes we ask stupid questions. Sometimes we don't get the answer we expect.
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sweetliberty: I think I've said enough at this point....if he is even reading what I've sent. He knows my heart. There's no way he can NOT know that what he is doing is devastating to me. I can be understanding and compassionate to a fault and am always willing to extend the benefit of the doubt. He knows I love him, and I'm sure he knows he can talk to me at any time. I've always left that door open, and in later communication made it very clear. I don't want to back him into a corner. I suspect that may be how he felt with the email, which probably had a lot to do with how he responded. Doesn't excuse it, but men do tend to want to have their cake and eat it too. Honestly, I feel like he has probably wanted to talk to me, but I'm guessing that he doesn't have the courage to face me. That may be because he knows he's hurt me or it may be because he is afraid I won't accept what he has to say..I don't know. Time will tell.
yes -- funny how we get ourselves in these catch 22's --- and life is full of them --- good luck
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I read this with interest as my ex did the EXACT same to me, he did it in such a style that even his ex-wife asked me what went wrong.
ONE email, when I had asked a few times what was wrong and NOTHING. Not a single words, he just took off abroad for a month and then when his mate asked him what was up comes out with the saying....
"Its all over, I thought she knew that"
Now explain WHY any female would assume its all over when her gear is still at his place, and she last left there thinking all was fine?
I agree entirely, a man who can profess to care and do all these things just to walk away? It does NOT make sense and silence is the cruellest thing to do to anyone. Its NOT game playing, its cruel and does not end a relationship - it just leaves you suspended wondering what went wrong.
So, guys???? Be honest with a woman please - even if it cant be face to face, at least TELL HER, because once you have told a woman you love her, she'll believe it and if you've fallen out of love dont just walk away, have the balls to explain.
ONE email, when I had asked a few times what was wrong and NOTHING. Not a single words, he just took off abroad for a month and then when his mate asked him what was up comes out with the saying....
"Its all over, I thought she knew that"
Now explain WHY any female would assume its all over when her gear is still at his place, and she last left there thinking all was fine?
I agree entirely, a man who can profess to care and do all these things just to walk away? It does NOT make sense and silence is the cruellest thing to do to anyone. Its NOT game playing, its cruel and does not end a relationship - it just leaves you suspended wondering what went wrong.
So, guys???? Be honest with a woman please - even if it cant be face to face, at least TELL HER, because once you have told a woman you love her, she'll believe it and if you've fallen out of love dont just walk away, have the balls to explain.
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lioness900: I read this with interest as my ex did the EXACT same to me, he did it in such a style that even his ex-wife asked me what went wrong.
ONE email, when I had asked a few times what was wrong and NOTHING. Not a single words, he just took off abroad for a month and then when his mate asked him what was up comes out with the saying....
"Its all over, I thought she knew that"
Now explain WHY any female would assume its all over when her gear is still at his place, and she last left there thinking all was fine?
I agree entirely, a man who can profess to care and do all these things just to walk away? It does NOT make sense and silence is the cruellest thing to do to anyone. Its NOT game playing, its cruel and does not end a relationship - it just leaves you suspended wondering what went wrong.
So, guys???? Be honest with a woman please - even if it cant be face to face, at least TELL HER, because once you have told a woman you love her, she'll believe it and if you've fallen out of love dont just walk away, have the balls to explain.
ONE email, when I had asked a few times what was wrong and NOTHING. Not a single words, he just took off abroad for a month and then when his mate asked him what was up comes out with the saying....
"Its all over, I thought she knew that"
Now explain WHY any female would assume its all over when her gear is still at his place, and she last left there thinking all was fine?
I agree entirely, a man who can profess to care and do all these things just to walk away? It does NOT make sense and silence is the cruellest thing to do to anyone. Its NOT game playing, its cruel and does not end a relationship - it just leaves you suspended wondering what went wrong.
So, guys???? Be honest with a woman please - even if it cant be face to face, at least TELL HER, because once you have told a woman you love her, she'll believe it and if you've fallen out of love dont just walk away, have the balls to explain.
Absolutely... silence is the worse form of cruelty... I can't understand how these people are capable of being sooo cruel to persons they at one time professed to love...truly baffles me...
The only conclusion I can draw is that they did not in fact love the persons at all in the first place... that said still no excuse to be cold hearted and cowardly...
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alabamabebe: Sounds like too much drama. Most men don't like that. Some will put up with more of it than others. Maybe this guy has a zero tolerance policy.
Would be hard to say without knowing him and all the details, which I don't want to know.
Would be hard to say without knowing him and all the details, which I don't want to know.
Sorry guys, this is just too funny!
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sweetliberty: Well, it's a h*ll of a character flaw, if you ask me. I don't know how they sleep at night. What makes them think it's okay to treat a woman that way....especially one they've professed to care about?
Don't mind about them. Really.
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I cant see why you find it funny. You find amusing that women are in relationships and then dumped without a word by a man they loved, and now have to readjust their opinion of them to cold, calculating and cowardly?
Oh yes, its REALLY funny, and I tell ya what? You learn never to trust again, because if that relationship wasnt real then who's to tell when it IS real love.
So, you want out - then SAY SOMETHING, dont assume your partner/lover/whatever can read your mind. SAY IT!
Oh yes, its REALLY funny, and I tell ya what? You learn never to trust again, because if that relationship wasnt real then who's to tell when it IS real love.
So, you want out - then SAY SOMETHING, dont assume your partner/lover/whatever can read your mind. SAY IT!
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lioness900: I cant see why you find it funny. You find amusing that women are in relationships and then dumped without a word by a man they loved, and now have to readjust their opinion of them to cold, calculating and cowardly?
Oh yes, its REALLY funny, and I tell ya what? You learn never to trust again, because if that relationship wasnt real then who's to tell when it IS real love.
So, you want out - then SAY SOMETHING, dont assume your partner/lover/whatever can read your mind. SAY IT!
Oh yes, its REALLY funny, and I tell ya what? You learn never to trust again, because if that relationship wasnt real then who's to tell when it IS real love.
So, you want out - then SAY SOMETHING, dont assume your partner/lover/whatever can read your mind. SAY IT!
Are you talking to me ( finding 'it' funny)?
If so, look at the post i quoted. That was what i found funny so please don't teach me how to think.
Thank you!
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Just don’t play the victim role. Chances are you have nothing to do with his actions in the first place.
Good Luck