What would cause a man do a complete reversal in a relationship literally overnight? (73)
Is it love, or is it addiction?
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I married the same woman 3 times.. I found out insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results...
When it is done, it is done and does not need to be re-done.........
When it is done, it is done and does not need to be re-done.........
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Then, suddenly everything changed. Now I will say that something I did was the catalyst; there is no doubt about that. I over-reacted to my perception of something he did, and instead of waiting until I'd thought it through and talking to him about it, I wrote him a somewhat emotionally charged email and sent it while I was still upset, and in it I foolishly suggested that we not see each other for awhile. After I thought about it a little more, I felt really bad about it and sent him a follow up email telling him that I over-reacted and that I really wished I hadn't said that, and I told him how happy I was being with him. I don't know if he ever read the second email.
It depends on what you over reacted about too and what exactly you said to him in anger. Did you overreact to his behavior around kids accusing him of or hinting about the unthinkable? I can imagine hinting towards something like that might scare & hurt an honest guy away forever that you are in a relationship with.
There had to have been somehting in the letter that you said that to you did not seem that bad to YOU but to him was a sore spot or sensitive spot and it hurt him and he probably never did read the other emails you sent after that. Then after a while he figured things could never go back to how they were or he's afraid by this time that you will yell at him for not answering you for so long so that fear makes it harder too for him to resume with you. So by this time I do think things may not go back to the way they were no matter how hard you try. When your relationship is in the baby stage you have to treat it like a baby and be gentle and careful because you're still in the bonding stage. You can't just blurt out anything and not expect consequences. I know one thing the longer he stays away the harder it is for him to come back so it might be pretty much a done deal for you two. He's probably scared you will yell at him more for staying away and not calling for so long. It's too bad that this happened to you but some guys are more sensitive than others I guess.
It depends on what you over reacted about too and what exactly you said to him in anger. Did you overreact to his behavior around kids accusing him of or hinting about the unthinkable? I can imagine hinting towards something like that might scare & hurt an honest guy away forever that you are in a relationship with.
There had to have been somehting in the letter that you said that to you did not seem that bad to YOU but to him was a sore spot or sensitive spot and it hurt him and he probably never did read the other emails you sent after that. Then after a while he figured things could never go back to how they were or he's afraid by this time that you will yell at him for not answering you for so long so that fear makes it harder too for him to resume with you. So by this time I do think things may not go back to the way they were no matter how hard you try. When your relationship is in the baby stage you have to treat it like a baby and be gentle and careful because you're still in the bonding stage. You can't just blurt out anything and not expect consequences. I know one thing the longer he stays away the harder it is for him to come back so it might be pretty much a done deal for you two. He's probably scared you will yell at him more for staying away and not calling for so long. It's too bad that this happened to you but some guys are more sensitive than others I guess.
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Sounds like too much drama. Most men don't like that. Some will put up with more of it than others. Maybe this guy has a zero tolerance policy.
Would be hard to say without knowing him and all the details, which I don't want to know.
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Perhaps he saw you in a different light that shocked him and found an excuse for a way out....
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I've see it put that he found an "excuse" to leave. Why do so many see it that way?
If there was a reason for him to leave, no matter whether the other person sees it as a reason, why is it an "excuse", not a reason?
If there was a reason for him to leave, no matter whether the other person sees it as a reason, why is it an "excuse", not a reason?
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kidatheart: I've see it put that he found an "excuse" to leave. Why do so many see it that way?
If there was a reason for him to leave, no matter whether the other person sees it as a reason, why is it an "excuse", not a reason?
If there was a reason for him to leave, no matter whether the other person sees it as a reason, why is it an "excuse", not a reason?
Yes it is a reason...excuse is just a figure of speech...if he felt compelled to leave then it is his choice...we can hold someones' hand but never chain their soul....
My advice let him be, if he decides to come back then it is his decision to contact you...you have let him know you are sorry now it is his decision whether he accepts it...any persistent contact can become stalking
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alabamabebe: Sounds like too much drama. Most men don't like that. Some will put up with more of it than others. Maybe this guy has a zero tolerance policy.
Would be hard to say without knowing him and all the details, which I don't want to know.
Would be hard to say without knowing him and all the details, which I don't want to know.
Drama...emotionalism...not good for many men. I hate it and refuse to have it as part of any relationship of mine as I view it as totally un-neccessary and irrational, circumstances permitting of course.
Sorry...just being honest.
Good luck!
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as they say if he truely cares for you then give him time dont rush him let him come to you in his own time the more you do things like sending him texts or emails the more you push him away so when he is ready he will come to you if you really want to be with this guy listen to what your heart has to say?
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SweetLiberty - you have had some good, well-thought responses here. My humble advice is to simply move on...without communication there can't be a relationship, and he's chosen to clam up. So, whatever you said, you can't take it back, and it's done.
all the best,
Glen
all the best,
Glen
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Hi Sweetliberty, he did this to protect you from hurting you anymore, he feels hurt when he can't respond cause he knows it'll start all over again. He's trying to get you to hate him so it'll be easier -he thinks
it's best to cut it off . I know, I did this myself just recently to a girl I was crazy about, but came to a realization of who I really was. I wanted her to hate and just forget me cause I had ailments I found out I had and didn't want to commit to her and have her live a life in anguish. it wasn't fair for her. We spoke today and i told her about my Dr reports and she understood, we are best friends but i love her too much to ruin her life if she took me as her husband. It hurt me greatly, but believe it or not. I loved her too much to cause her dismay forever. give him time and he'll return your call after the love is gone and he'll tell you why. That's my reasoning, if he's married- and lying, god took care of you! Take care!
it's best to cut it off . I know, I did this myself just recently to a girl I was crazy about, but came to a realization of who I really was. I wanted her to hate and just forget me cause I had ailments I found out I had and didn't want to commit to her and have her live a life in anguish. it wasn't fair for her. We spoke today and i told her about my Dr reports and she understood, we are best friends but i love her too much to ruin her life if she took me as her husband. It hurt me greatly, but believe it or not. I loved her too much to cause her dismay forever. give him time and he'll return your call after the love is gone and he'll tell you why. That's my reasoning, if he's married- and lying, god took care of you! Take care!
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HJFinAZ: I married the same woman 3 times.. I found out insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results...
When it is done, it is done and does not need to be re-done.........
When it is done, it is done and does not need to be re-done.........
bloody hell!
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alabamabebe: Sounds like too much drama. Most men don't like that. Some will put up with more of it than others. Maybe this guy has a zero tolerance policy.
Would be hard to say without knowing him and all the details, which I don't want to know.
Would be hard to say without knowing him and all the details, which I don't want to know.
Exactly!! That is what I told Sharon......Don't be all lovey Dovey one day...then acusatory the next!!
All a woman has to do is tell me it's over...one time< And it truly is!! Too old to play games
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shipoker55: Exactly!! That is what I told Sharon......Don't be all lovey Dovey one day...then acusatory the next!!
All a woman has to do is tell me it's over...one time< And it truly is!! Too old to play games
All a woman has to do is tell me it's over...one time< And it truly is!! Too old to play games
Arrrghh! I had a BF like that once.. he was always stop start stop start..
in the end I just couldn't be bothered with the hassle..
and he couldn't understand why..
Helloooo Ship
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skimpydoo: Sorry to hear that Claire. I hope that never happens again
lmao! you crafty sod!
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Claayer: lmao! you crafty sod!
I call it as I see it.
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Detente: Drama...emotionalism...not good for many men. I hate it and refuse to have it as part of any relationship of mine as I view it as totally un-neccessary and irrational, circumstances permitting of course.
Sorry...just being honest.
Good luck!
Sorry...just being honest.
Good luck!
So you're saying that when a woman has feelings in a realtionship that might make a man uncomfortable, she should just keep them to herself? What kind of a relationship is that when one has the need to communicate and resolve feelings but can't because the other just doesn't want to deal with it? How honest is that?
I put the whole "drama" thing in the same category as what so many men seem to think of as game playing. If a woman expresses feelings he's not comfortable with, it becomes drama or game playing. That's a pretty weak man, in my opinion...not to mention selfish.
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SOLOTIME: Hi Sweetliberty, he did this to protect you from hurting you anymore, he feels hurt when he can't respond cause he knows it'll start all over again. He's trying to get you to hate him so it'll be easier -he thinks
it's best to cut it off .... give him time and he'll return your call after the love is gone and he'll tell you why. That's my reasoning, if he's married- and lying, god took care of you! Take care!
it's best to cut it off .... give him time and he'll return your call after the love is gone and he'll tell you why. That's my reasoning, if he's married- and lying, god took care of you! Take care!
I could never hate him, and the love will never be gone. I do expect he hasn't got the courage to face me at this point for whatever reason. He's NOT married. I know that for a fact.
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sweetliberty: So you're saying that when a woman has feelings in a realtionship that might make a man uncomfortable, she should just keep them to herself? What kind of a relationship is that when one has the need to communicate and resolve feelings but can't because the other just doesn't want to deal with it? How honest is that?
I put the whole "drama" thing in the same category as what so many men seem to think of as game playing. If a woman expresses feelings he's not comfortable with, it becomes drama or game playing. That's a pretty weak man, in my opinion...not to mention selfish.
I put the whole "drama" thing in the same category as what so many men seem to think of as game playing. If a woman expresses feelings he's not comfortable with, it becomes drama or game playing. That's a pretty weak man, in my opinion...not to mention selfish.
I see your point, but it's not so much the expression part I was commenting on, it was the dramatics that go with such expression.
I speak to a couple of ladies who agree that SOME women are far to dramatic and more than a little unballanced when it comes to such things.
I'm just relieved to know there's women out there who are prepared to rationalise internally before blurting out!
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I'm a fairly decent writer. I was careful how I worded things. I don't think I came across as angry; I would certainly not say that I blew a gasket. More hurt and confused than anything.