What would cause a man do a complete reversal in a relationship literally overnight? ( Archived) (73)

Please tell me, men, what would possess a man to go from calling every day and spending most of his free time with someone to refusing to speak to her or even acknowledge her existence?

A few months ago, I started seeing someone on a regular basis. The attraction was immediate. We enjoyed many of the same things, had the same dreams and desires, shared much about our lives in conversation, laughed a lot and spent most of our free time together and really enjoyed each other's company. He called me every day, sometimes several times a day, we made plans well into the spring. He was very romantic toward me, was very supportive when I was dealing with stuff at work and he expressed concern for me in many little ways. He even took me to meet his family over the holidays. Everything he did and everything I observed about him told me I could trust him. None of my natural defenses went up with him. We never had an argument, had never gotten angry at one another nor had a discouraging word for each other. We were very comfortable together.

Then, suddenly everything changed. Now I will say that something I did was the catalyst; there is no doubt about that. I over-reacted to my perception of something he did, and instead of waiting until I'd thought it through and talking to him about it, I wrote him a somewhat emotionally charged email and sent it while I was still upset, and in it I foolishly suggested that we not see each other for awhile. After I thought about it a little more, I felt really bad about it and sent him a follow up email telling him that I over-reacted and that I really wished I hadn't said that, and I told him how happy I was being with him. I don't know if he ever read the second email.

Over the next 3 days, I sent him several text messages....he had always responded to my text messages. I apologized and asked him to forgive me, I invited him to come over on an evening when he normally would've come anyway. I got no response whatsoever. I tried to call him, both at home and on his cell. He wouldn't answer the phone. I left a message on his voice mail at home asking him to at least call and let me know he was ok...he'd had an injury the week before that he should've had checked out and didn't, so it was a valid concern. I waited a little over a week, then sent him a birthday card. Finally, just a few days ago, I sent him another text message, and still no response.

Now, based on knowing him and on some of what I said in subsequent messages, I can't help thinking that he deleted them without even reading them, because I don't believe that, if he had, he could ignore them. I have gone over and over in my mind every POSSIBLE reason that he might've reponded the way he did, and for the life of me, I cannot come up with one. He could've had any number of reactions to the content of the email, a couple of which might've explained a few days, or even a week, but it never crossed my mind that he would shut me out completely. It just doesn't make any sense at all.

Looks like I need to continue this below. Stupid letter restrictions!

Part 2: Continued from above.

It has been over 3 weeks, and my state of mind is getting worse, not better. It is affecting my ability to do my job. It is affecting every part of my life. It even seems to be compromising my immune system, because I almost never get sick, and today I am really sick. It's not a question of letting go. Oh sure, that's part of it, but the really big question is "what the h*ll happened?" In relationships past, I always knew when I was taking a risk; I always had warning signs. But I was completed blindsided by his response. He gives over-reaction a whole new meaning. I need an answer, and I think, given what we shared and the point we were at, he owes me that much. I don't want to force him to talk to me by meeting him at his place of business after work or just showing up at his house unannounced. That's just not me. I have considered calling his mom (he talks to her pretty much every day), but I'm afraid if I do that, she will tell him and it will make matters worse. I've also considered sending him a handwritten letter, but I have no assurance he'd read that either.

I made a mistake, one I would give anything in the world if I could take back, but I didn't do anything to deserve being treated this way, and don't understand how he justifies it in his own mind.

I'd really like some input from the men. I have it narrowed down to 3 possibilities. 1. He was hurt...way more than I could've anticipated. 2. He has an extremely fragile ego or 3. (This one offered by a couple of my male frineds who know me very well) He's an idiot.

you know....you sound exactly like my most recent ex!! She told me we shouldn't see each other anymore...I said O.K. She said we couldn't even be friend....I said O.K. I said we should remove our tele #'s from our cells....she said O.K.

I did exactly what she asked...no argument!!

Last night she called and asked why I am treating her so mean!! I replied that I was just abiding by the rules she set down!

Today she called and wanted me to drive her somewhere!

Look....when it's over It's OVER!

I know she want's to reconcile...but I don't play that game. Maybe this man is just giving you what you asked for!!

there is one other possibility,,maybe though you had apologized, maybe he had already met someone,,with no communication it is hard to say.
GP

It wasn't exactly like that. In fact, I told him that I wanted to be with him, I just wanted him to assess his level of commitment. I didn't word it exactly like that, but that was the gist of it. It was stupid. I shouldn't have questioned him about what I did and should've been more sensitive to him. I should've trusted him. And if I'd waited a couple of hours, I'd have never sent that email, and I would've trusted him.

Why do men aways think that when a woman expresses her feelings, if not to their liking, she is playing a game?

Maybe he needs time to think things over, don't push. If he is interested he will be back.

lunacy

Maybee he has the mindset of "when the cracks start appearing its time to bail"
I do!!!
At least that way you keep the good memories alive to carry on into the future.

With that mentality, a person will never have a lasting relationship. There will be rough spots in any relationship. The good memories are what helps to weather them.