What would cause a man do a complete reversal in a relationship literally overnight? (73)
prncss4someoneHopeful, Michigan USA57 Threads 8 Polls 7,227 Postseven the possibility of a psycho chick scares guys off...
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sweetliberty: So you're saying that when a woman has feelings in a realtionship that might make a man uncomfortable, she should just keep them to herself? What kind of a relationship is that when one has the need to communicate and resolve feelings but can't because the other just doesn't want to deal with it? How honest is that?
I put the whole "drama" thing in the same category as what so many men seem to think of as game playing. If a woman expresses feelings he's not comfortable with, it becomes drama or game playing. That's a pretty weak man, in my opinion...not to mention selfish.
I put the whole "drama" thing in the same category as what so many men seem to think of as game playing. If a woman expresses feelings he's not comfortable with, it becomes drama or game playing. That's a pretty weak man, in my opinion...not to mention selfish.
Some men think that when you have a problem sweeping it under the rug or talking time off will take care of it; well it doesn't always work that way; all you are showing there is immaturity, inability to deal with reality, lack of interest in the relationship and her feelings, and maybe even lack of loyalty depending on what the problem was to begin with. It is unhealthy and unreslistic to expect things to be perfect all the time.
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Detente: I see your point, but it's not so much the expression part I was commenting on, it was the dramatics that go with such expression.
I speak to a couple of ladies who agree that SOME women are far to dramatic and more than a little unballanced when it comes to such things.
I'm just relieved to know there's women out there who are prepared to rationalise internally before blurting out!
I speak to a couple of ladies who agree that SOME women are far to dramatic and more than a little unballanced when it comes to such things.
I'm just relieved to know there's women out there who are prepared to rationalise internally before blurting out!
Well, for what it's worth, I am NOT dramatic. I tend to be very rational, and rarely take any action at all when I am upset, but wait until I have a better perspective to approach things so that I can be objective and keep a cool head. Even later that same day, I was kicking myself for handling it the way I did.
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sweetliberty: Well, for what it's worth, I am NOT dramatic. I tend to be very rational, and rarely take any action at all when I am upset, but wait until I have a better perspective to approach things so that I can be objective and keep a cool head. Even later that same day, I was kicking myself for handling it the way I did.
I wouldn't let him decide anything...After the way he has treated you and your so called relationship..He obviously has no respect for either one!!!!!!!!! At this point...if it was me...It wouldn't matter why anymore...BUT it would be an eye opener to someone who cares so little about me and our relationship that it's not even worth discussing!!!!!!!!!
You should be able to be yourself...If someone truly loves you...expressing what you feel won't make a difference...I say let go and move on and consider yourself lucky!!!!!!!!!!!
And stop blaming yourself...It takes 2 in a relationship to make it work...NOT just one!!!!!!!!!
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Or in Hugs and Kisses case it takes three!! God help the mister who comes between me and my sister and God help the sister who comes between me and my man!!! 
Hi girls
Hi girls
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Fallingman: Or in Hugs and Kisses case it takes three!! God help the mister who comes between me and my sister and God help the sister who comes between me and my man!!!
Hi girls
Hi girls
Hey guys...
That's right...Now I just have to learn to take my own advice....
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constanza: Some men think that when you have a problem sweeping it under the rug or talking time off will take care of it; well it doesn't always work that way; all you are showing there is immaturity, inability to deal with reality, lack of interest in the relationship and her feelings, and maybe even lack of loyalty depending on what the problem was to begin with. It is unhealthy and unreslistic to expect things to be perfect all the time.
I don't think it's so much that she had questions about what she thought she saw it was the dramatic way in which she sent the angry letter to him. If she had thought it out for a day or so then approached him calmly discussing it then his reaction might have been different. It's not so much about hiding true feelings or not dealing wiht true feelings, it's about calmly discussing true feelings in a non confrontational or accusatory manner. It's when people go off and just start yelling and screaming and accusing etc that scares some guys off. It's not what you say but HOW you say it.
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I've found that when a man becomes uncomfortable, angry, upset they have a tendency to retreat to their "cave" following them in just drives them further away... give him some space to come out in his own time and you might be surprised at the results.
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LeftHandedCutie: I don't think it's so much that she had questions about what she thought she saw it was the dramatic way in which she sent the angry letter to him. If she had thought it out for a day or so then approached him calmly discussing it then his reaction might have been different. It's not so much about hiding true feelings or not dealing wiht true feelings, it's about calmly discussing true feelings in a non confrontational or accusatory manner. It's when people go off and just start yelling and screaming and accusing etc that scares some guys off. It's not what you say but HOW you say it.
To me it's everything, really, it's what and how you say it. But what do you think about guys that would rather not be bothered at all with any of it? What are you to do with your feelings when you have them and the message he seems to be conveying is please don't bother me. I personally am nonconfrontational, definitely not a dramatic type, but as much as anyone else will have things come up every now and then. I am not expressive at all about my feelings for better or worse, and when I am trying to say something, it is really an experience to witness coldness and indifference, or worse yet, paranoia of some type of imagine drama that is surely based on assumption of past experiences. Anyway, too late for any of this; maybe it'll help someone some day.
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"I over-reacted to my perception of something he did, and instead of waiting until I'd thought it through and talking to him about it, I wrote him a somewhat emotionally charged email and sent it while I was still upset, and in it I foolishly suggested that we not see each other for awhile."
"over-reacted" "emmotionally charged" "not see each other for a while"
--- this guy is highly sensitive and you obviously have triggered a huge warning bell.
--How long has it been from his last relationship
"over-reacted" "emmotionally charged" "not see each other for a while"
--- this guy is highly sensitive and you obviously have triggered a huge warning bell.
--How long has it been from his last relationship
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In response to: Why do men aways think that when a woman expresses her feelings, if not to their liking, she is playing a game
SweetLiberty
A while back, I Had same experience and it was literally overnite, too! We were monagomus for weeks and in a discussion at lunch out when an 'old female friend' of his walked by, I asked "If you got the chance, would you take her out again?" When He answered a somber honest 'yes', I flipped! (I Don't feel that was any big deal!I assumed if situations were reversed and I answered that way, he would be pissed,too!)
In any case, text messages, phonecalls, went unanswered. Then a few days later he sent me an email......He simply said" This is the best way for me to explain" The Email was a copy of "Beautiful Looser" by Bob Seger
Obviously, As soon as we attemt to complete some men by making them feel Secure, they want to be free....If we try to make it a monagomous relationship they get scared and feel trapped......They "Want it all, but know they can't have it" without getting in a bigger jam!
Go Figure...Damned if ya do Damned if ya don't
I would say let him leave ( knowing its easier said than done!)
I Wish you well, Liberty
J
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In response to: What would cause a man do a complete reversal in a relationship literally overnight?
Getting sober?
Dont take it serious! JK
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CuspofMagic:
--- this guy is highly sensitive and you obviously have triggered a huge warning bell.
--How long has it been from his last relationship
--- this guy is highly sensitive and you obviously have triggered a huge warning bell.
--How long has it been from his last relationship
Neither of us had been in a relationship for quite a long time.
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Jewells: As soon as we attemt to complete some men by making them feel Secure, they want to be free ....If we try to make it a monagomous relationship they get scared and feel trapped ......They "Want it all, but know they can't have it" without getting in a bigger jam!
Go Figure...Damned if ya do Damned if ya don't
I would say let him leave ( knowing its easier said than done!)
I Wish you well, Liberty
J
Go Figure...Damned if ya do Damned if ya don't
I would say let him leave ( knowing its easier said than done!)
I Wish you well, Liberty
J
Thanks. Yes, it does seem that way. He really worked to get close to my heart, you know. I don't get it. If that wasn't what he wanted, why'd he work so hard for it?
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sweetliberty: Thanks. Yes, it does seem that way. He really worked to get close to my heart, you know. I don't get it. If that wasn't what he wanted, why'd he work so hard for it?
My suggestion, quit trying to figure out why men do what they do. You're not a mind-reader, he can't or won't tell you, so the best thing to do would be to quit worrying about it. What's done is done, it's over, move on. Learn from your past, but don't live in it.
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I wouldn't take that too seriously anyway. He's not much of a drinker.I am experiencing the same thing as we speak, I over reacted to something,texted him that it was over(only been 3 mos)..but since then I have apologized on line,called several times and left text messages,asking him what I could do to make it right,again. I have gotten no replies. So, I have come to the conclusion that if you reach out to someone and they don't pull you closer...it's obvious they don't want you.and its time to move on!! You may never know why he is advoiding you,but stop wasting your time trying to!! My motto is ....NEXT!!!
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wildcatgirl: I am experiencing the same thing as we speak, I over reacted to something,texted him that it was over(only been 3 mos)..but since then I have apologized on line,called several times and left text messages,asking him what I could do to make it right,again. I have gotten no replies. So, I have come to the conclusion that if you reach out to someone and they don't pull you closer...it's obvious they don't want you.and its time to move on!! You may never know why he is advoiding you,but stop wasting your time trying to!! My motto is ....NEXT!!!
Well, it's a h*ll of a character flaw, if you ask me. I don't know how they sleep at night. What makes them think it's okay to treat a woman that way....especially one they've professed to care about?
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constanza: Who made him King of the Jungle and who would want his sorry a__ back after all that? Por favor chico
Holy Mollie. Great enchiladas of the Heavens. She used a Spanish word! That’s how I know she is really serious.
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I've never been someone to breakup in anger... when I break off a relationship it's for good reason and there is no going back, but I know so many couples who break things off with every argument. Maybe that was how his last relationship was and when he saw signs of the same behavior he decided he didn't want to go through it again.
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