Loyalty (18)
Who are you most loyal too?
Yes and no….
A man loyalty is towards his wife and children, and a woman’s loyalties should be towards her husband and children.
Now…. In the husband’s lot and in the wife’s lot come the husband and wife’s parents, siblings and anything else that interest them.
The only time an interference of that loyalty should be allowed is when for example a mother/father in law meddles in the life of the couple…. Then loyalties should transfer to the husband/wife..
That’s a tricky one, isn’t it? Juggling is an art; practice makes masters.
In response to: I believe if a man is married his loyalty should be first to his wife and children. They would come before his parents, siblings etc.
Yes and no….
A man loyalty is towards his wife and children, and a woman’s loyalties should be towards her husband and children.
Now…. In the husband’s lot and in the wife’s lot come the husband and wife’s parents, siblings and anything else that interest them.
The only time an interference of that loyalty should be allowed is when for example a mother/father in law meddles in the life of the couple…. Then loyalties should transfer to the husband/wife..
In response to: Can there be a balance between the needs of elderly parents and one's own personal life or should one or the other go if there is a perceived conflict of interest?
That’s a tricky one, isn’t it? Juggling is an art; practice makes masters.
There needs to be a combination of both, but in your case I'd think along the selfish line more and more........we've discussed this in private before as well.
Were I in a partnership my loyalty is 100% hers, as is my trust and devotion, at the moment I'm in love with a 'hot blonde'and a brunette at the same time, they take all my time and I have to arrange things around them, with the help of a great mate, but their loyalty pays for all the hardships...............for me anyway.....my 4 legged friends
Were I in a partnership my loyalty is 100% hers, as is my trust and devotion, at the moment I'm in love with a 'hot blonde'and a brunette at the same time, they take all my time and I have to arrange things around them, with the help of a great mate, but their loyalty pays for all the hardships...............for me anyway.....my 4 legged friends
Rusty, your basic human need to have a personal life does not call into question your loyalty to your parents!
You are loyal and devotated to them both, however, there has to be a balance. This is not selfishness on your part.
You are loyal and devotated to them both, however, there has to be a balance. This is not selfishness on your part.
rusty_knight: Who are you most loyal too?
I believe if a man is married his loyalty should be first to his wife and children. They would come before his parents, siblings etc.
What do you think?
I had to stand up for my first wife against her mother-in-law; the strange thing is if you lose a spouse and your parents are alive then your parents can (and in my case were) still be there for you.
Many, many people care for elderly parents and also hold down part or full-time employment. They have my respect and admiration. I look after my parents 'part-time' and do not work (although I'd love to feel more useful and contribute to society at large).
My 'job' is therefore 'easy' compared to the former type of people I mentioned above.
Can there be a balance between the needs of elderly parents and one's own personal life or should one or the other go if there is a perceived conflict of interest?
Again - what do you think? Should loyalty be to oneself (selfish) or to those you love and care for who might not have long to live?
I believe if a man is married his loyalty should be first to his wife and children. They would come before his parents, siblings etc.
What do you think?
I had to stand up for my first wife against her mother-in-law; the strange thing is if you lose a spouse and your parents are alive then your parents can (and in my case were) still be there for you.
Many, many people care for elderly parents and also hold down part or full-time employment. They have my respect and admiration. I look after my parents 'part-time' and do not work (although I'd love to feel more useful and contribute to society at large).
My 'job' is therefore 'easy' compared to the former type of people I mentioned above.
Can there be a balance between the needs of elderly parents and one's own personal life or should one or the other go if there is a perceived conflict of interest?
Again - what do you think? Should loyalty be to oneself (selfish) or to those you love and care for who might not have long to live?
Serious and difficult question. There was a time in my life,for example, I couldn't even reflect about selfishness or a balance , because there were two family members, who needed my care . Nearly no possibility to think of your own, and if, with a bad feeling. But after this time, many years, you notice, that it completely weared you down. So, to find a balance between the need of family members isn't easy , I think.
So it depends on the situation and the possibilities you have, if you could share your "duties" with other sibblings, for example.
By the way, I can't find out, how to quote only a sentence?
By the way, I can't find out, how to quote only a sentence?
I think I got it waxed ...... You click on quote, then block out (for want of a better word, I dont know the technical term for it) the unwanted text, right click and "cut", and that leaves you with just the piece you want to quote. Do this on the area where you gonna type your reply.
I think I got it waxed ...... You click on quote, then block out (for want of a better word, I dont know the technical term for it) the unwanted text, right click and "cut", and that leaves you with just the piece you want to quote. Do this on the area where you gonna type your reply.
By the way, I can't find out, how to quote only a sentence?
Now I tried clicking on the "reply" button, and doing the same ....
Now I tried clicking on the "reply" button, and doing the same ....
Who are you most loyal too?
I believe if a man is married his loyalty should be first to his wife and children. They would come before his parents, siblings etc.
What do you think?
I had to stand up for my first wife against her mother-in-law; the strange thing is if you lose a spouse and your parents are alive then your parents can (and in my case were) still be there for you.
Many, many people care for elderly parents and also hold down part or full-time employment. They have my respect and admiration. I look after my parents 'part-time' and do not work (although I'd love to feel more useful and contribute to society at large).
My 'job' is therefore 'easy' compared to the former type of people I mentioned above.
Can there be a balance between the needs of elderly parents and one's own personal life or should one or the other go if there is a perceived conflict of interest?
Again - what do you think? Should loyalty be to oneself (selfish) or to those you love and care for who might not have long to live?[/qu
Gee this is a difficult one! I think being married - you gotta have loyalty to your partner before others, except if it causes suffering to the others ..... in which case your partner should act for your good too - and some sort of compromise reached? You supposed to have become "One Flesh".
The balance between your own needs and that of elderly parents...? You cannot abandon your parents, just as they did not abandon you in your needy infant years. Could you live with yourself knowing they are suffering? Again, maybe some sort of compromise could be reached, where they are not abandoned, and you can still have a personal life?
You cannot completely abandon your own personal life .....without inner peace and happiness you gonna be unhappy, and then the household will suffer.
Loyalty to oneself is not selfishness, one has a duty to oneself to be happy and free from conflict. One cannot make others happy by making oneself miserable. By making oneself happy, you enable others to make their own happiness.
Anyway, that is how I figure it. Life is all about "keeping communication open and negotiatiing" ... methinks?
I believe if a man is married his loyalty should be first to his wife and children. They would come before his parents, siblings etc.
What do you think?
I had to stand up for my first wife against her mother-in-law; the strange thing is if you lose a spouse and your parents are alive then your parents can (and in my case were) still be there for you.
Many, many people care for elderly parents and also hold down part or full-time employment. They have my respect and admiration. I look after my parents 'part-time' and do not work (although I'd love to feel more useful and contribute to society at large).
My 'job' is therefore 'easy' compared to the former type of people I mentioned above.
Can there be a balance between the needs of elderly parents and one's own personal life or should one or the other go if there is a perceived conflict of interest?
Again - what do you think? Should loyalty be to oneself (selfish) or to those you love and care for who might not have long to live?[/qu
Gee this is a difficult one! I think being married - you gotta have loyalty to your partner before others, except if it causes suffering to the others ..... in which case your partner should act for your good too - and some sort of compromise reached? You supposed to have become "One Flesh".
The balance between your own needs and that of elderly parents...? You cannot abandon your parents, just as they did not abandon you in your needy infant years. Could you live with yourself knowing they are suffering? Again, maybe some sort of compromise could be reached, where they are not abandoned, and you can still have a personal life?
You cannot completely abandon your own personal life .....without inner peace and happiness you gonna be unhappy, and then the household will suffer.
Loyalty to oneself is not selfishness, one has a duty to oneself to be happy and free from conflict. One cannot make others happy by making oneself miserable. By making oneself happy, you enable others to make their own happiness.
Anyway, that is how I figure it. Life is all about "keeping communication open and negotiatiing" ... methinks?
Hey, <I dont understand why my posting above came out so weird? I quoted Rusty, but there are no demarcation marks between what he wrote, and what I wrote ! They messing about with the site again?
haha, Thems a foolin`wid us methinks! I didn`t write that, you did ..... But if we mess around here long enough, something will fall into place ...
Arcobaleno: Who? What?
What - Who?
Yoju asked a question and I thought i had the answer, then you out-did me, and did what I couldn`t do, and now I am totally confused!.......
dragonfly88: Who are you most loyal too?
Yes and no….
A man loyalty is towards his wife and children, and a woman’s loyalties should be towards her husband and children.
Now…. In the husband’s lot and in the wife’s lot come the husband and wife’s parents, siblings and anything else that interest them.
The only time an interference of that loyalty should be allowed is when for example a mother/father in law meddles in the life of the couple…. Then loyalties should transfer to the husband/wife..
That’s a tricky one, isn’t it? Juggling is an art; practice makes masters.
Yes and no….
A man loyalty is towards his wife and children, and a woman’s loyalties should be towards her husband and children.
Now…. In the husband’s lot and in the wife’s lot come the husband and wife’s parents, siblings and anything else that interest them.
The only time an interference of that loyalty should be allowed is when for example a mother/father in law meddles in the life of the couple…. Then loyalties should transfer to the husband/wife..
That’s a tricky one, isn’t it? Juggling is an art; practice makes masters.
--- yes mother in laws have a lot to answer to --- i have seen so many women turning into their mothers and losing their own identity
CuspofMagic: --- yes mother in laws have a lot to answer to --- i have seen so many women turning into their mothers and losing their own identity
I don't call her, "Mother in laws". I call them, "Mother outlaws"
hootsman: I don't call her, "Mother in laws". I call them, "Mother outlaws"
apologies...english is diminishing....
I don't call them, "Mother in laws", I call them, "Mother outlaws".....
hootsman: I don't call her, "Mother in laws". I call them, "Mother outlaws"
--- many seeds of dissent sown -- fertilised over time- until the creeper strangles
--- and the older they get the needier they become
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I believe if a man is married his loyalty should be first to his wife and children. They would come before his parents, siblings etc.
What do you think?
I had to stand up for my first wife against her mother-in-law; the strange thing is if you lose a spouse and your parents are alive then your parents can (and in my case were) still be there for you.
Many, many people care for elderly parents and also hold down part or full-time employment. They have my respect and admiration. I look after my parents 'part-time' and do not work (although I'd love to feel more useful and contribute to society at large).
My 'job' is therefore 'easy' compared to the former type of people I mentioned above.
Can there be a balance between the needs of elderly parents and one's own personal life or should one or the other go if there is a perceived conflict of interest?
Again - what do you think? Should loyalty be to oneself (selfish) or to those you love and care for who might not have long to live?